
There had been so many peculiar incidents tied up in his ownkahs-wan that he sometimes thought of it
as the single most important turning point in his life. He clearly remembered every event leading to and
involved in his test, including the fact that he had set off for it unauthorized, alone, and ahead of schedule
in order to prove himself a true Vulcan and not—not—an Earther.
He recalled his stubbornly determined march into the Forge, an impulsive act brought on by his father’s
stern admonition that hemust learn to behave like a Vulcan. Spock had known Sarek was correct.
Spock was subject to anger then, often fighting with Vulcan boys who taunted him about his half-human
blood, and even giving way to tears of disappointment and frustration. It was a weakness that would not
be tolerated in an heir by his noble clan. Spock had known he must conquer it, and forcing thekahs-wan
had been his solution—even though doing so in such an impulsive way was another demonstration of his
human heritage.
Fat old I-chaya, his petsehlat, had lumbered after him into the Forge, refusing to turn back even after
Spock had firmly ordered him to go home. And it had been a good thing the loyal old beast had followed
him[12]so relentlessly, because I-chaya had saved Spock from an attackingle-matya. The agingsehlat
had charged and parried thele-matya’s attempt to get at the boy, until Speck’s cousin miraculously
appeared to finally subdue the great tigerlike beast with a skillfully applied neck pinch.
His cousin Selek had had an explanation for how he had discovered Spock had gone alone into the
Forge and how he had followed the boy. It had seemed plausible at the time, and Spock had been
desperate to get help for I-chaya, who had been wounded by thele-matya’s poisonous claws. There had
been Spock’s anxious hurry to reach and persuade a healer to come to I-chaya’s aid, his grief over
I-chaya’s terrible suffering, and, finally, the decision required of him—to allow the healer to ease the
sehlat ’s agony by a painless and merciful death with dignity. Somehow, thinking back on it, Spock had
never been quite certain of the logic of Selek’s explanations. His parents’ relief and pleasure over
Spock’s passing of thekahs-wan had diverted his attention from it, and Selekhad shown him exactly
how to execute the Vulcan neck pinch, a technique that had eluded Spock to that point. Still, he looked
back every now and then and pondered the unusual set of coincidences that had provided him with such
a perceptive cousin exactly when he needed him. Several years later, Spock had idly investigated the
many branches of his family tree, but he could not seem to find exactly the right combination of “distant
relatives” with those names who had a son named Selek. Somehow the information never seemed to be
urgent enough for him to launch a thorough search,[13]and in time he was far too busy to think about it.
The most important thing thekahs-wan had accomplished was that it left Spock with the firm resolution
that he would follow the Vulcan way, as his father and tradition demanded.
Spock sighed and shook his head. Denying his human heritage was a denial of his mother, and he could
not dishonor her that way. Instead, he had gone on to strengthen those human qualities most like a
Vulcan’s and had learned to sublimate the more embarrassing ones.Mostly learned to sublimate, he
reminded himself. He still remembered I-chaya proudly, but always with a swell of grief that put a lump in
his throat.
Spock wiggled his toes. It had been an impulse to remove his boots and socks and sink his feet into the
warm, fine sand. His mother had told him she had always enjoyed doing that. “Walking on a beach in
your shoes is a joyless experience, Spock,” she often said. “Put yourself in touch with the land ... feel its
life .”
A soft hiss and slap of water on the sand brought his head up. The tide had lifted a gentle froth of white
foam nearly to his feet, leaving a dark, moist mark as it slid away again. Dusk was already pulling down
the shadows, darkening the tropical growth behind him. Above the last faintly glowing light of the sun on
the horizon, the stars had begun to appear, glittering with icy white and pale blue points. Spock freed his