
"Jimmied a window," he said in his liquid Filipino accent. "Not hard. God, Lissy, you look like a drowned rat."
Lissy. His pet name for her. Which he goddamn well had no right to use. He lounged at the table in her kitchen,
which was also her living room and dining room, having helped himself to Raisin Bran and English muffins. She said
sourly, "You better be careful. That food probably has genetically modified foodstuffs in it. You could sully your
ideological purity."
"Same old Lissy." He sat up straighter, and the gleam of white teeth disappeared from his sunbrowned face.
Despite the heat, he wore jeans and heavy boots, the old uniform. A knapsack rested on the floor. His trim body
looked fit and rested, which only irritated her more. It had been so long since she'd had a good night's sleep. Too much
to do, always.
Danilo said quietly, "I want to see him."
"You don't have the right."
"I know. But I want to anyway. Carlo is my son."
"Only biologically. A hyena is a better father than you've been," Lisa said, and they were off again, the same old
track, sickening her even before they really got rolling.
"Only because I had a more urgent job," Danilo said, apparently willing to go over it all yet once more. Lisa wasn't.
He'd made his choices, and at the time Lisa had even seen why he'd made them, or thought she had. The fate of the
planet over the fate of a single child, the human race itself at stake, global warming, depleted oceans, dangerous
genetically engineered organisms released into the environment, deforestation, pollution, nuclear radiation, blah blah
blah. Or, rather, not blah blah blah; she was preparing herself to work for the same ends, through scientific ecology.
But it all looked different somehow when you had that actual single child with you day and night, dependent on you,
needing your care and interrupting your sleep and clamoring for your love. You realized that there was no more urgent
job.
There was no way to tell that to Danilo, no way that he would hear. Lisa said only, "I'll get Carlo. The woman next
door takes care of him while I'm at work."
"Is she... can she..."
"She's had experience with disabled children." And then, cruelly, "She costs most of my grant and all of my
scholarship, of course, between daycare and physical therapy. Nothing left to donate to good causes."
Danilo didn't answer. Lisa went next door to get Carlo.
It was one of his good days. He laughed and reached up for her, and she knelt by the wheelchair and hugged him.
Undoing all the harnesses that kept him comfortable was a major undertaking. "Mommy! I drawed a picture!"
"He did, Lisa. Look," Mrs. Belling said, and held up a childish picture of a blue tree, green sun, and red structure
that might have been a house or a car. "He's getting really good with his right foot, aren't you, Carlo?"
"I'm good," Carlo said, with such innocent grandiosity that Lisa wanted to weep. He was almost five. Next year he
would start school. How long would he keep that pride around other people, people less kind than Mrs. Belling or
Lisa's colleagues? Carlo was intelligent, happy, severely deformed. Both arms hung truncated at his sides, devoid of
any nerves to transmit muscle impulses. His head lolled to one side. He would never walk. His radiant smile nightly
filled her with fear for his future.
Danilo had left her, joined first Students Against Toxins and later Greenpeace, the day Carlo had been born. Carlo's
father blamed the baby's condition on contaminated groundwater in the factory town where Lisa had grown up.
Perhaps he was right. Lisa had gone into shock that Danilo could leave her now, leave her with a deformed infant,
leave her unmarried and about to start graduate school and all but broke. Selfish! She had screamed at him. Necessary,
he had replied, so more Carlos aren't born like this, and more, and more. She was the selfish one not to see that. It was
no different than going off to war. He was disappointed in her that she couldn't see that.
The horrible thing was, she could. But she was still the one left with Carlo. Whom, now, she wouldn't trade for
anything on Earth.
"Carlo," she said, after lavishing praise on his picture, "Uncle Danilo's here." Her one condition for letting Danilo
see him at all: unclehood, not fatherhood. Fatherhood was something you did, and Danilo never had.
"Uncle Danilo?" The child frowned, trying to remember. It had been over a year since Danilo's last will-o'-the-wisp
appearance.
"Yes, your Uncle Danilo. You'll remember him when you see him. Let's go, sweetie."
"Bye, Mrs. Belling!" Carlo called. "See you tomorrow!"
Lisa watched Danilo flinch when she wheeled in Carlo. Revulsion, or guilt? She hoped it was guilt. "Carlo, this is
Uncle Danilo."
"Hi, Carlo."
"Hi! Mommy, he gots a bord!"
"A 'beard,' sweetie. He has a beard."
"Can I touch the beard?"
Danilo knelt by Carlo's chair. Lisa moved away, unwilling to stand that close to Danilo. But on the warm air she
caught the scent of him anyway, bringing such a rush of visceral memory that she turned abruptly away. God, how
long had it been for her... and never like with Danilo.
Lisa Jackson and Danilo Aglipay. Salty working-class American and wealthy cultured Filipino. Ideological purists,
committed activists, the sexual envy of an entire campus, with her blonde small-boned beauty and his exotic dark
intensity. Except that the working-class salt-of-the-earth parents shoved Lisa out of the family when she took up with
a "gook," and the wealthy Filipino swore he would never go home to the father who made his money exploiting the