
did. He liked Chuck best of any of the readers Dr. Delph had saddled him with. Chuck’s
cockiness and good humor pulled him out of the sloughs of despond into which his work as
Destroyer dropped him after the key-up demand for all-out action and target-directed thought
was over. Each day, or almost, meant one more target. One more colony of aliens blasted out of
existence. It wasn’t a fun thing to have on your mind when the whole thing was over and it
was time to go to sleep. If you could sleep.
But no jokes now, please. Not right now. Not right after. Maybe to Chuck it was some kind
of a game, killing “skunks.” But deep inside of Wayne Panu something rebelled; beyond his
punning with Lady, his byplay with Chuck, Dr. Delph’s shoulder-massaging, something
resisted and loathed the whole thing. He killed Mephiti, by the thousands, millions for all he
knew. If he didn’t, they’d kill him, and God knows how many Terran colonists. Still, Wayne
rebelled. Rebelled deep inside of his cells, and resented the super-mental equipment he was
born with because it had brought him to this. …
He didn’t tell anybody. Who could he tell? Not Lady. Her brain wasn’t equipped to
understand compassion. He couldn’t tell Dr. Delph. Delph couldn’t permit himself to agree,
even a little bit. Wayne was the Fleet’s bright hope. Lord! It would never do to let the Psych
Head know that he was starting—insidiously and without volition—to empathize with the
Mephiti…
Wayne’s upbringing was nothing unusual. In fact, it was commonplace these days. Wayne
was born of simple second generation colonists on a farm in Proxima. His grandparents had,
like so many billions, fled the crowded Levels of Terra and the monotonous complexity of
rat-hole living. It was a rough pull, those first fifty years, what with the thin blue light of
Proxima shining down on a virtually lifeless rock. Somehow, as elsewhere, they had survived
and scratched out a scanty existence. Children had been born, married, stayed there on the
scattered farms because there was no money to leave and nowhere else to go. Even Terra closed
behind them after they had once made, the colonial lists, like a sea closes behind a flung stone.
Wayne thrived. He loved to watch the saffron blush of dawn over the jagged crystal peaks,
along the clean green patent-leather shine of com leaves sprouting tall and straight under
anxious loving hands. The corn-stalks talked to Wayne; they whispered secrets about the
paRMblue sun and the soil, and how content they would be to become part of Wayne and the
others who had tended them so faithfully. It was continuance; it was becoming part of
something greater than themselves, to the great time pattern being woven on some cosmic
loom beyond the stars.
Wayne’s thin bones sprouted up with the corn. Hard work sheathed them with efficient
useful muscles. But Wayne was not oriented to the technical sciences. He didn’t know what he
knew. Like the other youngsters, he studied the books and the vid tapes, and he did his share
of squirming about it. Tech books weren’t much fun. But, like most, he had his secret life.
At first it seemed natural to him to “see” into the heart of the corn and the barley. When his
dog, Sisu talked to him, it was the most natural thing in his world. It was only after some
stinging remarks and fist fights that he began to realize that it was best to keep his mouth shut
about these things. When he tried to “see” his mother and father, or his playmates, it didn’t
work. Or just a little, randomly, vaguely. The lack he decided much later, was in them. They
had no transmitter to his receiver.