Cory Doctorow Down and Out in the Magic Kingdom 5
gengineered crop or two, then curing a couple deaths, slowly inching them
toward the Bitchun Society, until they couldn’t remember why they hadn’t
wanted to be a part of it from the start. Now they were mostly off-world,
exploring toy frontiers with unlimited energy and unlimited supplies and
deadheading through the dull times en route.
“I guess it’d be too much of a shock for them to stay on-world. They
think of us as the enemy, you know—they had all kinds of plans drawn up
for when we invaded them and took them away; hollow suicide teeth,
booby-traps, fall-back-and-rendezvous points for the survivors. They just
can’t get over hating us, even though we don’t even know they exist. Off-
world, they can pretend that they’re still living rough and hard. ” He rubbed
his chin again, his hard calluses grating over his whiskers. “But for me, the
real rough life is right here, on-world. The little enclaves, each one is like an
alternate history of humanity—what if we’d taken the Free Energy, but not
deadheading? What if we’d taken deadheading, but only for the critically ill,
not for people who didn’t want to be bored on long bus-rides? Or no
hyperlinks, no ad-hocracy, no Whuffie? Each one is different and
wonderful.”
I have a stupid habit of arguing for the sake of, and I found myself
saying, “Wonderful? Oh sure, nothing finer than, oh, let’s see, dying,
starving, freezing, broiling, killing, cruelty and ignorance and pain and
misery. I know I sure miss it.”
Keep A-Movin’ Dan snorted. “You think a junkie misses sobriety?”
I knocked on the bar. “Hello! There aren’t any junkies anymore!”
He struck another cig. “But you know what a junkie is, right? Junkies
don’t miss sobriety, because they don’t remember how sharp everything
was, how the pain made the joy sweeter. We can’t remember what it was
like to work to earn our keep; to worry that there might not be enough, that
we might get sick or get hit by a bus. We don’t remember what it was like
to take chances, and we sure as shit don’t remember what it felt like to have
them pay off.”
He had a point. Here I was, only in my second or third adulthood, and
already ready to toss it all in and do something, anything, else. He had a
point—but I wasn’t about to admit it. “So you say. I say, I take a chance
when I strike up a conversation in a bar, when I fall in love . . . And what
about the deadheads? Two people I know, they just went deadhead for ten
thousand years! Tell me that’s not taking a chance!” Truth be told, almost
everyone I’d known in my eighty-some years were deadheading or jaunting
or just gone. Lonely days, then.
“Brother, that’s committing half-assed suicide. The way we’re going,
they’ll be lucky if someone doesn’t just switch ’em off when it comes time
to reanimate. In case you haven’t noticed, it’s getting a little crowded
around here.”
I made pish-tosh sounds and wiped off my forehead with a bar-
napkin—the Gazoo was beastly hot on summer nights. “Uh-huh, just like
the world was getting a little crowded a hundred years ago, before Free
Energy. Like it was getting too greenhousey, too nukey, too hot or too cold.
We fixed it then, we’ll fix it again when the time comes. I’m gonna be here
in ten thousand years, you damn betcha, but I think I’ll do it the long way
around.”
He cocked his head again, and gave it some thought. If it had been any
of the other grad students, I’d have assumed he was grepping for some
bolstering factoids to support his next sally. But with him, I just knew he
was thinking about it, the old-fashioned way.
“I think that if I’m still here in ten thousand years, I’m going to be crazy
as hell. Ten thousand years, pal! Ten thousand years ago, the state-of-the-art
was a goat. You really think you’re going to be anything recognizably
human in a hundred centuries? Me, I’m not interested in being a post-
person. I’m going to wake up one day, and I’m going to say, ’Well, I guess
I’ve seen about enough,’ and that’ll be my last day.”
I had seen where he was going with this, and I had stopped paying
attention while I readied my response. I probably should have paid more
attention. “But why? Why not just deadhead for a few centuries, see if
there’s anything that takes your fancy, and if not, back to sleep for a few
more? Why do anything so final?”
He embarrassed me by making a show of thinking it over again, making
me feel like I was just a half-pissed glib poltroon. “I suppose it’s because
nothing else is. I’ve always known that someday, I was going to stop
moving, stop seeking, stop kicking, and have done with it. There’ll come a
day when I don’t have anything left to do, except stop.”
— • —
On campus, they called him Keep-A-Movin’ Dan, because of his
cowboy vibe and because of his lifestyle, and he somehow grew to take
over every conversation I had for the next six months. I pinged his Whuffie
a few times, and noticed that it was climbing steadily upward as he
accumulated more esteem from the people he met.
I’d pretty much pissed away most of my Whuffie—all the savings from
the symphonies and the first three theses—drinking myself stupid at the
Gazoo, hogging library terminals, pestering profs, until I’d expended all the
respect anyone had ever afforded me. All except Dan, who, for some