Star Wars - A Dark Path 2 - Str

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Striving for the Light (A continuation of A Dark Path)
by
Ali Hadden (hadden@mhd1.moorhead.msus.edu)
Special thanks to Christine Bertz for her input and George Lucas for
his, well, output! Also to ss@wpi.wpi.edu for allowing this on his
archive. Note: This is in no way meant to be or follow "SW cannon"
C 1994, layman's copyright. Please do not distribute without this
message.
I.
The usually perfect environmentally controlled biosphere of
Coruscant's Imperial City was a bit chill that evening. The Jedi
Knight watched the city lights from atop the Senate Building, as
blackly dressed as the wrought iron table at which he sat, detached
from the hustle and bustle of the inhabitants below. He was detached
because, for the most part, those beings enjoyed life, drank every
bit
of the essence it created, and busied themselves with the chasing of
reckless dreams and adventure. Such was not his destiny. His
destiny, it seemed more and more, was to grieve. Death had
surrounded
him ever since he'd chosen the way of the Jedi; his guardians, his
mentors, his father, and recently the demise of Kayla Storm and his
unborn child. These he had come to accept as the simple passing from
one existence to another, from a life of individuality to one of
unity, oneness in the Force. As a Jedi, perhaps touching that Force
was an act of straddling both planes, leaving him not quite himself,
not quite everything else. It was a confounding paradox that spent
much time in his meditative thoughts, and surreal. The goal was to
be
one with the Force, even if it meant leaving behind certain elements
of the self. He had never wanted to accept that before, just as he
had not wanted to accept that it would be his burden to pass on this
knowledge to potential Jedi. In a sense, he would be taking from
them
identity for the greater union in the Force, the balance, the all.
Yet, in that balance, he had found a deeper sense of self than he
could ever have imagined, but not without cost. He clenched his
gloved hands where beneath the leather of one there was a false skin,
billions of electronic nerve endings to simulate the human touch, and
a metal skeleton; beneath the leather of the other was a scar that,
in
some ways, moved him more deeply. Of course, in the end it would be
the students' decision to accept or reject his teachings when the
time
came. To become a Jedi, to lose and then find oneself anew, or to
cling to egoism in the belief that this intangible power was one's
own
and fall inevitably to the Dark Side. Such was the folly of he and
Kayla Storm not so long ago--pride. He sighed deeply and watched his
breath curl in the form of cold vapor.
The frozen breath whisped through the air before him and
began
to take shape. Luke Skywalker blinked twice, then folded his arms
across his chest against an all too familiar cold and watched,
listened. There was a soft laugh as the shape darkened into a
silhouette.
_You thought you were finally rid of me_
"How could I be rid of that which is part of the whole?"
Luke
replied quietly. "You are with me always, Kayla."
Another laugh, though strained. _You've cheated me, my lord
Skywalker. Soon will I take my vengeance...._ It was as if she
sought
to go on, spewing idle threats that would torment his dreams, but
there was a great milling of some potent tempest. The apparition
shrieked his name and was engulfed by the chaos she had succumbed to,
the path she had chosen in the end. Luke often wondered why her
broken body did not vanish in death as Obi-wan and Yoda had. He had
hoped that it was because she was unprepared for such a demise, but
now saw he was mistaken. The Dark Side, in her last act of
aggression, now possessed her in full. Kayla Storm was perhaps his
greatest failure.
The Jedi listened at the strange silence that rang in his
ears. Such was the way of the Force.
"I'm sorry," he whispered to the air.
A new presence came upon him then, like an exact negative of
what he had just witnessed. It shone brightly and he closed his eyes
against the resplendent Light. Immediately he felt a peace that
reached to his very core, and a long-forgotten contentment. The
brilliancy softened and Luke opened his eyes to look upon an ageless
face with eyes of green fire.
"Who are you?" he asked, enamored.
The voice, too, was beyond the definitions of time. _Father_
"Chala." A gentle smile played across his lips. There had
been moments when he longed to hold this lost child, ached to cradle
her in his arms and hum some off-key lullaby. But the child was
found
only in the Force and not as she might have been had she experienced
life.
_Father, Kayla Storm has wronged us both. The time of your
destiny has come_
The image faded before he found the words to speak. Two
spirits seemingly detached from the whole? How was that possible?
Luke stifled a second shiver that was not completely from without and
brought his Jedi robe close about him for warmth. A chill evening,
indeed.
Behind him, a lithe figure stepped through the entry, her
gown
of exquisite silk whispering against her ankles as she approached,
along with that whisper the scent of mild perfume. Luke turned his
gaze from the city lights as his sister sat before him with grace,
her
hair wrapped in jewels, and he smiled.
"Leia, I think you'd better find Han, quickly."
Perhaps in any similar situation she should have blushed, or
retorted something a bit harsh, but Leia Organa Solo merely gave her
chin a regal lift. "Even with Alderaan destroyed, I'm still her
princess. If there is a time and a place for elegance and tact, now
is one of them. This isn't for Han." She permitted a small grin and
shrugged. "Besides, I'm a little tired of chasing around in battle
fatigues."
"It seems that time has passed," Luke replied softly.
"Thank the Force." The princess continued after pausing to
collect her thoughts, self-assured. "The New Republic is doing well
under Bel Iblis' administration and the Senate. I'm not nearly as
inundated with political philandering. Before, I was too busy to
think about anything--Alderaan, Han and the children, you. I've
slighted all of you in one way or another. I beg your pardon."
"Princess..." Luke muttered and shook his head. Perhaps she
had in her refusal to learn of the Force, but under the circumstances
of the New Republic, he could hardly lay any blame. The time was not
right. And he, it was discovered only later, was not prepared for
the
burden of a Jedi Master. Now he sensed a change for them both.
Her hands folded on the table but she did not fidget with her
rings, and gazed straight into her brother's eyes. "I've spent a
great deal of time thinking about where our lives may be headed in
the
future, with our peace nearly made with the remnant Imperial fleets
and the Imperial governorships. Much of what I ask will depend on
the
results of the Senate's inquiry tomorrow. But if they find no reason
to discipline you further...Luke, if the offer to guide me in the
ways
of the Force still stands, I wish to move forward."
Her brother's face was implacable. "Do you think you're
ready?"
Her bejeweled hands flattened against the tabletop,
reflecting
a bit of light from the moons beyond the biosphere. "Are you?"
Luke nodded slowly. "I am. But you have to be careful to
realize what you're getting into. As a Jedi, you must be prepared to
make certain sacrifices--your career, perhaps even your family. You
must learn the ways of the Force with a most serious mind and forget
anything about the self-glorification that comes with a thirst for
adventure. You must be devoted."
Leia stared at him, incredulous. "As if we haven't had our
adventures."
"Becoming a Jedi will change you indelibly. You will never
be
as you are right now. Power brings with it an incredible burden.
The
weak, as I was weak, succumb to chaos while the strong, as I feel I
am
now becoming stronger, strive for the Light."
"You sound like some kind of preacher," his sister muttered
under her breath. "All I wanted was to learn a few things..."
"I will not allow you to simply dabble for awhile and then
shelve it until it suits your purposes. You must not allow your
roles
of Minister or wife or mother take priority."
"Luke, how can you talk to me like this?"
Her brother sighed deeply and trifled with the rings on her
fingers. "I don't mean to be cruel, but I have to be certain you
understand what you're getting into. Leia, again I have to ask you.
Are you prepared?"
The princess of Alderaan had lost some of her color as she
listened to him speak. Her lips trembled slightly, but her voice was
sure. "I feel I must. Brother, I _must_."
Luke's nod was imperceptible. She rose and bent to kiss his
cheek lightly, then left her brother in meditation.
* * *
The Scoundrel's Nest, a hijacked Super Star Destroyer that
was
now claimed as the prize of the Smuggler's Guild, circled the capitol
planet of Coruscant like a mammoth sea creature casting shadows onto
all it overtook. A small shuttle crested with the sign of a dragon
dropped out of the cavernous docking bay and sped toward the central
biosphere, weaving through the slower traffic as its pilot was
anxious
to reach her destination. Mara Jade had little problem finding a
landing slip in the usually crowded spaceport and was greeted by Han
and Leia Organa Solo as she disembarked. There were brief
pleasantries.
"Has Skywalker been released?"
Leia nodded. "Actually, he's been free for the past month.
The Senate is just now getting caught up in its affairs and can
afford
to ask Luke a few more questions about what happened."
They started to head for the Senate chamber at a fast pace.
"You would think they'd have been more thorough in the
hearing," Mara grumbled.
"That would've taken months," replied Han Solo. "I think the
majority were so incensed by the whole thing that they wanted to get
him locked away."
"Can't say I blame them. I'm surprised he didn't receive a
stiffer sentence. Hopefully today will remedy that."
"Luke has changed, Mara," said Leia. "In all honesty, I
think
he should have been acquitted altogether. He's made amends."
"We'll have to see about that, Minister."
Upon reaching the chamber, they parted ways as the Solos were
expected to sit front and center and Jade was unceremoniously
shuffled
into the general seating. The entire amphitheater was filled to
capacity, waiting for the last Jedi in existence to do a little more
explaining of his actions. Anoth was destroyed. Coruscant, very
nearly. And it had all been blamed on some Dark Side influence that
quite suddenly no longer plagued him. The pointed questions were
already being asked as Mara took her seat at the end of a row next to
a smelly Twi'leck. What exactly was the nature of your relationship
with Kayla Storm? How is it the Force could be used to do such a
thing? How is it you allowed it? Why did you fail so utterly in
your
attempts to teach the ways of the Jedi? How is it you were suddenly
cured of this presumed insanity? In the face of such questions, his
replies should have sounded ludicrous. Yet they did not. Mara
sensed
the Senate committee was skeptical and a little bit afraid of the
possibility of Skywalker using some kind of vocal manipulation. She
didn't think he did; still, the Jedi had done unthinkable evil. She
listened. As the Jedi's explanations droned on, she sat forward in
her seat and really listened. The thoughts of those surrounding her
became like a running commentary of the tribunal. With some, there
was understanding. With most, anger. _How could he do this to us?_
_I wonder if he speaks the truth_ _What a terrible thing to happen to
the boy_ _Luke needs us now more than ever_ Her brow furrowed as the
commentary intensified, becoming louder than the amplified debates on
the Senate floor. _I'm so sick of this. I have repairs to do on the
Falcon. Why do I need to be here?_ _Luke is holding his own. The
Senators can't refute his defense_ _He must be held fully
accountable.
The two years, the biosphere, isn't nearly enough for what he's done_
_Skywalker is a traitor_ _Who said that? Skywalker is a traitor.
Who..._ She looked around, almost startled. The voices continued
until they converged in a rambling scream. _Who said what? Luke
it's
not your fault. Hang in there. You're doing well. Skywalker is a
traitor. Why do I have to be here? Mama, I'm hungry. Just wait.
Mama, I'm thirsty. I said, just wait. Why am I here? It's not his
fault. But it is. It must be. Skywalker is a traitor. Skywalker
must...Mara. No. Skywalker must...Mara, shut it out. I can't. I
won't. Mara. No, I...YOU MUST KILLnonononononononononono_ She
collapsed her head in her hands and bit back her own scream.
Luke's oath was barely heard. "To the Senate and the people
of the New Republic, I vow this will never...."
_YOU MUSTnonononononono i won't i can't we've already been
through this, damnit i'm done i won't i won't nonononono_
_Mara_
_nonononononogetawayfrommedon'ttouchmeihateyouihateyouihateyou_
Her body slumped forward into unconsciousness. With half
heard shouts and a sudden lurch of motion, Mara Jade felt herself
carried about as if by hypnotic waves. Yet, as she opened her mind's
eye, the ocean was not comprised of water, but of sand. A tall
plateau surveyed the endless Dune Sea while the Master and his
Apprentice embraced near a flickering campfire.
He whispered into her ear, "I am the teacher, you are the
learner. If you wish to succeed..."
She stared, lost in the blueness of his eyes. The words and
feelings were hers and yet, not. "I love you with everything that I
am. I will never forsake you."
"Then it is the dawning of a new age for the Jedi."
"Yes," she breathed as he savored her neck.
He softly murmured, "You and I will rule the stars hand and
hand. You will be my Empress."
A slow, burning rage crawled into her heart then and, as
Skywalker pressed forward in his advancement, she gripped his throat
with both hands and squeezed with all her might.
Mara Jade awoke.
The pain of her throbbing skull forced her into
consciousness,
and she was nearly blinded by the bright lights of what she came to
recognize as the infirmary. As her vision cleared, Jade gazed upon
the object of her hate not only in dreams, but often in life.
Skywalker grinned sympathetically and Mara's hands tightened into
fists, restraining a sudden urge to throttle him as she had in her
sleep.
"You," she hissed. "Why are you here?"
"I've been here a lot, actually. How do you feel?"
"How do I look," Mara snapped.
Skywalker flashed that infuriating grin. "Not bad, for
someone who's been out cold for a week. The Em-dees can't seem to
figure out what's wrong with you. I've been worried."
Mara clenched her teeth. "Don't bother."
"I certainly will bother. The Force is with you, and
anything
unusual that happens to you is of my concern."
"What are you, my guardian? My Jedi Master? After that
fiasco with Kayla Storm, I should think not."
Luke's gaze did not shift. "Someday I will be, if you choose
to further your talents. You're walking on very dangerous ground to
remain untrained, with your sensitivity. I sensed a lot of anger in
that Senate chamber last week. The Dark Side of the Force was
literally drawn to it. That's what caused you to faint."
"You've been acquitted, haven't you? You no-good lying
hypocrite. How could you sit there and lecture to me about refusing
the Dark Side? Look what you've done! You were a fool to take up
with that woman. I should never have listened to you. I should have
killed you when I had the chance and saved us all a lot of misery.
Not to mention a few thousand lives."
"I know I've done terrible things. Mara, I've paid my dues
as
best I can..." But his words fell on deaf ears.
"I should have let your clone cut you to ribbons, at the very
least. Why would Palpatine choose some two-bit Force-witch as his
heiress? I was closer to him than anyone else, I should have been
the
chosen, not that I'd even consider it, but he should have come to me.
I certainly would not have allowed you to foil his designs. I was
the
Emperor's Hand!"
Luke sat back in his chair and shook his head disparagingly,
jaw set. "As you are, you're untrainable anyway. You have absolutely
no control over your anger. I was mistaken to think things had
changed. There's no way I'm going to make the same mistake twice.
The question now is what to do with you."
"What exactly are you suggesting? How dare you threaten me,
you half-witted womp rat..."
"I'm not threatening anybody. Besides, I'm sure the
Smuggler's Guild wouldn't take too kindly to a liaison so prone to
temper tantrums." He paused then, distracted by something unseeable.
The admonition hit close to the mark and Jade pounced. "You
have a lot of nerve. Get out of here or I'll have you thrown out!"
Skywalker spoke distantly, as if his mind were miles across a
great chasm, barely aware of her presence, or the fury that so
disturbed her. "Mara Jade, you must be very careful. Something of
the Dark Side is close. I don't want you to fall as I did."
She swung about and gained her feet. "I'm not so gullible.
So long, Skywalker."
Mara slapped him hard across the face, a wake up call to
bring him back to reality, and she stalked from the room. Luke
remained where he sat and gingerly touched his jaw. The Dark Side
had
gathered close about her, it seemed. But that wasn't it exactly. It
was as if a third presence had been in their midst, keeping watch and
a bit of influence over Jade's behavior. This could not be explained
as a simple Dark Side influence. He was tempted to label the
presence
as some spirit. When a soul passed on, it supposedly became one with
the Force, completely integrated, and the images that occasionally
showed themselves to the living were but revelations through the
Force
itself, not individual souls per se. Yet, he himself had encountered
the spirit of Kayla Storm, a spirit that seemed to struggle for a
distinctiveness from the Dark Side. That had to be it. But
whatever,
or whoever, he had sensed was gone with Mara Jade.
* * *
They thought it might be nice to ditch the kids with Leia's
assistant and go for a stroll in the gardens. Han was anxious to get
back to work on the Falcon's ailing repulsorlifts but he noticed Leia
was troubled and put off the repairs yet again. The giant red sun
was
just beginning its dip down to the horizon beyond the central
biosphere when Solo muttered, "So what's on your mind, sweetheart?"
"Do I have to have a reason to take a walk with my husband?"
He mentally shrugged and supposed he could be as romantic as
the next guy. Women liked a little smoothness, and he conceded his
edges were still a bit rough. At least he wasn't an oil slick like
Lando. "Just thought maybe you wanted to talk."
"I guess I do." She paused for a moment and Han was content
to wait, scraping his boots along the stones as they went. Leia took
a deep breath. "Before that mess with Kayla Storm, Luke asked me if
I
would learn the ways of the Force."
Han stopped and looked at her warily. "And what did you tell
him?"
"That I wasn't comfortable with breaking the laws of physics,
and far too busy to be taking up witchcraft."
Han nodded his approval and they continued their walk in
awkward silence.
After a while, she added, "He seems to think it's my destiny.
And the children's."
Her husband frowned and pointedly said, "No."
"I had my own reasons for declining, but why are you so set
against it?"
Han's face became clouded. "Before, I thought all that Force
stuff was a lot of hooey. Now, I think it's deadly. Luke may not be
a Dark Lord, but he's still a little crazy. At least, he's not the
way he used to be."
"He's just been through so much," Leia defended.
"Yeah, I know, but..." Han shook his head, frustrated by his
inability to explain. Well, she usually knew what he thought anyhow.
"I just don't want you and the kids getting into something that
dangerous. I mean, Luke can't force you to do anything you don't
wanna do, right?"
"Of course not." Leia hesitated. "I've just been having a
lot of dreams."
"Just remember that's all they are. You're just thinkin' too
much."
Leia nodded absently. "What if...what if I did want to
become
a Jedi?"
"Come on, don't talk crazy. I'm not gonna let you weird out
on me like Luke did." He watched her gaze shift away to the
flowerbeds. "Wanna help me and Chewie out with the Falcon?"
"Always a wild romantic," Leia mused.
"It's just gotta get done, honey. I know it's bad timing."
"At least we don't have an Imperial fleet on our tail."
Han smirked. "I dunno, that might make things a little more
interesting around here."
Instead of laughing, or sending back a smart comment, Leia
slipped into his arms and sighed deeply. "I guess I deserve this
after spending so much time away from you and the kids."
"Well, the Inner Council did make it kinda hard. But things
are letting up now, right? We'll have _eons_ to spend together after
I get that bucket up and runnin'."
This produced a small grin, and content with that, Han kissed
her smartly before waltzing away. Leia sighed again; it seemed as if
she had to remind the heaviness of her chest to lift and breathe. So
Han would have none of it. But the dreams that plagued her sleep
nightly were important. The images in the fog reaching for her,
dragging her downward into a void. The voices that whispered of a
nexus of destinies. Of who? That was beyond her. She knew they
were
important. She realized she had to find a way to control the dreams
before she lost her senses. Or maybe it was simply time to quit
sleeping. Leia Organa Solo watched the sky deepen from a bloody
crimson to a blanket of purple velvet, lost in thought, before
finally
turning homeward.
* * *
"I'll be back this evening," Leia called as she rummaged
through her bureau for the hidden implements. She found the metal
and
crystal and shoved them into a pouch. She also reminded herself to
"forget" the project with Luke today; better her unfinished
lightsaber
be left undiscovered.
"Where are you going?" Her husband asked from another room.
"I have another meeting today," Leia responded. It was not
easy to keep this from him. But it was not necessarily a lie either;
she was, if fact, going to meet someone and to learn from him.
"What kind of meeting?"
"A seminar of sorts."
"About what?"
Leia pretended not to hear and focused her attention on the
three children playing on her bed. Jaina was decorating the two boys
with bobbles of jewelry and make-up, much to their chagrin. "Let's
put these away now and wash up. It's time to go with daddy."
"Huh?" The smuggler appeared in the doorway while the boys
rushed past him to escape. Jaina remained to help her mother replace
the stolen treasure. "Well, _I_ can't watch them. I have repairs to
do. What if they get into somethin'?"
"I'm sure See-Threepio would be more than happy to assist
you." She kissed her daughter and left the room.
"Hey!"
"Hey!" Jaina echoed and followed her father to the main
entry. Jacen and Anakin converged on their mother with hugs.
"I love you, sweethearts, but I have to go." Leia gently
disentangled herself and looked plaintively to Han.
There, she found no help. "I thought things were finally
letting up. How come you're always at some political conference? I
oughta have ol' Garm's head for running you so ragged."
"We've just been very busy. Please don't say anything to
him,
all right?" Leia bit her lip. The hole she was digging was
beginning
to collapse around her.
"So, what's goin' on? Why's everything so hush hush?" Han
questioned. "More Imperial trouble?"
"No no, nothing like that. It's just very important. Han,
you're making me late," she flustered.
"Can you at least tell me where I can find you? Or who you're
with?"
"No." She flushed, backing a step toward the door. He
wouldn't understand, but there were things that just had to be done.
Somewhat defeated at this, Han folded his arms and smirked.
Impishly, he cracked, "That's it, isn't it? You're _with_ somebody.
Yup, I shoulda known a princess like you was too good for a low-down
scoundrel like me..."
"Don't be silly!" Leia retorted and kissed him smartly.
"I'll be home soon."
"Sure," he muttered, "like in twelve hours."
"Bye, mom," the kids intoned as she left, then rushed back to
her room to scavenge.
* * *
The Jedi Master watched his twin sister-turned-apprentice
move
the newly constructed lightsaber over in her hands and tightened a
final clasp. It was hastily built, he thought. The configuration
was
all wrong. Still, he had kept his silence although every instinct
wanted to direct her work, even to do it for her. Yet her destiny
was
separate from his, he knew. Leia would have to learn much on her
own,
even if under gentle guidance. Strangely, he felt as if a benevolent
presence was with him, offering _him_ guidance, and immediately
recognized it as his daughter. Chala watched over them both, and
there was peace for a time as he muddled through the paradox of her
and Kayla Storm, answers coming up empty every time. Perhaps is
wasn't worth the headaches. Some things just _were_.
Leia fingered the power stud on the hilt of the sword and it
emitted a loud crack. She dropped it immediately and jumped back
while, on the ground, the lightsaber sputtered crazily and spun in
showers of sparks. She stared at the conflagration, then at her
brother who only shrugged. Irked by his lack of assistance, Leia
bent
to retrieve the botched weapon but it rose up and hissed at her like
something alive.
She caught Luke's slight grin and rolled her eyes. "Oh for
cryin' out loud."
The Minister of State removed a small wrist blaster from her
pouch and blew the project she had spent a number of days on to
smithereens. "There. What do I need a lightsaber for anyway? I
think we can pass over this lesson, Luke."
Luke waved at the smoke. "Master Yoda used to tell me 'Do or
do not. There is no try.' I think we can assume you definitely 'did
not'."
"Well then?" Leia demanded. "Do you want me to scavenge
around for more parts and build another one? Those crystals you use
to power the blade are pretty scarce."
Luke shook his head. "It can wait."
"Right," she huffed. "What now."
"Patience."
"Fine." She sat on the rocky outcropping and surveyed the
biosphere some sixty kilometers to the East. She coughed and
motioned
to the speederbikes. "This air is horrible. Can we go back soon?"
"Patience, Leia," the Jedi Master repeated, and sat next to
her. "There's no need for you to be in such a hurry over every
little
thing. It's your impatience and your constant short-cuts that causes
your failure."
"Bel Iblis wanted to meet with me this afternoon, my family
needs some attention, I just don't have time..." She received a
disapproving look and sulked. "I'm sorry. I know how much this
means
to you."
"To me?" His eyebrows rose. "Then that's it. You're a
diplomat through and through, trying to negotiate terms and please
the
masses. That's got to be the first thing to go, sister."
"What are you talking about?"
"How serious are you about becoming a Jedi Knight? Or is all
this an effort to appease a demanding twin brother?" His grin
disarmed the sharp edge of his tone. "You know what I'm talking
about
because we've talked about this a number of times. Priorities,
Leia."
Leia looked at him hard. "It's easy for you to say when you
have no other entanglements."
"True. Still, you can't give your training any less
attention
than you would any other responsibility. I'm worried you won't
finish
what you've started."
"Didn't I give you my word?"
Luke nodded and lapsed into silence as he was prone to do.
Leia glared at her rings and spun them about her slim fingers, not
through fidgeting with her hands, but simply by pushing them through
the Force. It was something of a habit that struck a note of
irritation in the mind of her twin. The game of button-pushing had
become a dangerous habit as well. One her brother dealt with as only
a brother can.
"You've always been headstrong," he surmised.
Leia snorted. "You've always had a propensity to whine.
What
of it?"
Her brother grinned sheepishly. "I do not."
"Do too."
Luke covered his mouth with a gloved hand, and hid a
broadening, although slightly exasperated smile. "Leia, you just
need
to relax. There's no need to rush. I really don't see what the
problem is if..." A realization came upon him and leaned forward a
bit, propping his elbows on his knees. "You haven't told Han."
"After everything that's happened, he's terrified of the
Force. If I told him what I was doing, he just wouldn't allow it.
He
just wouldn't understand."
"So certain are you?" Luke questioned, and smiled in
reflection. Did Masterhood consist of an inclination for backwards
grammar?
Leia sighed heavily. "Yes, I am. I can't tell him. Not
yet,
anyway."
"But you realize you will have to, someday. Just by the fact
that you've hidden this will make the situation more difficult. It
may not go well."
"I know it won't. I just...I just can't tell him yet."
He clasped her hand in his own. "Meditate on this, Leia.
Let
the Force guide you and you will do what needs to be done."
* * *
She sat before the vanity and removed the string of jewels
that decorated her hair. The hair itself spilled over her shoulders
and down her back, nearly touching the carpeted floor. Slowly, she
began to brush through it with long, careful strokes, ignoring the
man
that leaned heavily against the door frame.
"I should've known. Garm was talking about going on some
leave of absence. It just didn't jive with your story. Why did you
lie to me?" Han asked. It was nearly a demand, but somehow his
voice
lacked the needed intensity. He sounded haggard. "Why couldn't you
talk to me about this?"
Leia continued her brushing. "I didn't think it concerned
you."
"How could it not concern me?"
"My decision to become a Jedi has nothing to do with you,"
she
stated flatly, but the brush strokes quickened.
"Think again."
"Han, you don't understand..."
"No. Look. We haven't had two minutes together since we got
married and you got tangled up in the Inner Council, then Minister of
State. Now you're off to become some sort of...of Jedi or something.
I know..." He ground his teeth on his bottom lip, trying to put
things right. "I know you have to do it _someday_, but why now when
things are just starting to settle down? Leia, I know you and Luke
have this incredible connection but..." He straightened and
swallowed
hard. "Princess, you are my wife and I want your time. More than
that, I want to keep you sane and alive."
Leia bit the inside of her cheek and yanked viciously at a
persistent snarl. "You do not understand."
Han exhaled sharply, as if he'd been punched to the ribs and
withheld his own retort. He glared at his boots and shoved his hands
into his pockets. He listened to the rustle of fabric as she slipped
out of the silk gown and into a nightdress. She approached and eased
into his arms.
"I don't mean to hurt you," she whispered, and sought his
fallen gaze. "But I have to do this. It's my destiny."
Han's expression became bitter and he slowly shook his head.
Destiny again. "I think maybe you just don't care anymore."
"Han." She tilted his chin to face her and kissed his frown.
"You know I love you."
Han remained silent, gaze downcast, shoulders slumping. She
heard his thoughts as if they were spoken. _Then why, your worship,
is it that I always come in dead last?_
Leia gently bit the lobe of his ear. "Not tonight."
His frown deepened to a scowl. "No, not tonight. So long,
Leia."
The smuggler grabbed his jacket and holstered blaster as he
left.
* * *
"Hey!"
The Jedi Master's eyes opened wide, suddenly awakened from a
half-dream. There was a hard pounding at the door of his small
apartment. It may have been going on for many moments though, he had
been so deep in sleep. Nearby, Artoo-Detoo whistled questioningly,
摘要：

StrivingfortheLight(AcontinuationofADarkPath)byAliHadden(hadden@mhd1.moorhead.msus.edu)SpecialthankstoChristineBertzforherinputandGeorgeLucasforhis,well,output!Alsotoss@wpi.wpi.eduforallowingthisonhisarchive.Note:Thisisinnowaymeanttobeorfollow"SWcannon"C1994,layman'scopyright.Pleasedonotdistributewi...

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