Jon Scieszka - Time Warp Trio 06 - Tut, Tut

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THE TIME WARP TRIO

TUT, TUT

by Jon Scieszka

PUFFIN BOOKS

ONE

I opened the door to my room and saw a terrible scene. A giant woman stood in King

Tut’s tomb. An even bigger cat crouched just behind it.

“Anna!” I yelled. “What are you doing?” Sam and Fred pushed into the room behind me.

“She’s wrecking our ancient Egypt projects,” said Fred. He tossed an extra figure out of his

diorama. “Ms. B. would kill me if she found G. I. Joe in my ‘Making of a Mummy.”’

Sam picked up another action figure. “I’m sure she’d love Spiderman in my Book of the

Dead scroll and Barbie in Joe’s ‘King Tut’s Tomb.'”

“That is not Barbie. It’s the goddess Isis,” said Anna.

“I didn’t know Isis wore high heels,” I said. “And would you please get that stupid cat

away from the tomb. She’s licking the burial chamber.”

Anna took the cat and her doll and settled them both in her lap. “Cleo is not a stupid cat

and she wasn’t licking your stupid burial chamber. She was helping Isis stop the evil grave rob

bers from breaking into the Queen Pharaoh’s tomb.”

“You are such a pain,” I said. “And that shows how much you know about ancient Egypt.

Only kings were Pharaohs. They never had women Pharaohs.”

I wiped the cat slobber off my model of King Tut’s tomb.

“Oh yes, they did,” said Anna.

“Oh no, they didn’t,” I said, doing my most annoying imitation of Anna’s voice.

“Well, who is this then?” said Anna. She opened one of the books. on my desk and

pointed to a picture.

Sam adjusted his glasses and leaned over to take a closer look. “Now that’s the goddess

Isis. You can tell because she has that thing that looks like a chair on her head. And there’s

that same throne shape in the hieroglyph next to her. That’s her cartouche signature thing.”

“Pharaohs are usually depicted wearing the white crown of Upper Egypt and/or the red

crown of Lower Egypt,” said Fred in his fake teacher voice. He flipped up the bill of his

baseball cap. “Only the most awesome Pharaohs wore the Blue Jay crown of Toronto. “

“But I saw a picture of a woman wearing the two Pharaoh crowns,” said Anna.

“I’ll bet you your week’s allowance you didn’t,” I said.

“I’ll bet you I did,” said Anna, putting Cleo down and looking through the pile of Egypt

books.

“And you have to clean the kitty litter for my week, too,” I added.

Sam drew a few more teeth on the figure of the Devourer in the Weighing of the Heart

scene in his scroll, then stood back to admire all three projects.

“Congratulations Trio,” said Sam. “Here we have three excellent projects on ancient

Egypt, finished one whole day before they are due, and nobody even mentioned using a

certain Book to help us with our research.”

Fred turned his Blue Jays cap inside out and balanced it upside down on his head. “We

must be getting smart.”

“I wouldn’t go that far,” said Sam.

“I’m still time-lagged from our last adventure,” I said. “Plus, I promised I wouldn’t use

The Book again until I’ve figured out every tip and rule in there.”

“Aha!” yelled Anna. “Here it is.”

Cleo jumped on the desk and rubbed her cheek on the book Anna held.

“I found it. A picture of a lady wearing both crowns.” Anna held up a thin blue book with

twisting silver designs.

A faint green mist began to form on the sugar-cube steps of King Tut’s tomb.

“No!” screamed Fred, Sam, and I in unison. Fred and I dove for The Book. Sam dove for

the door. We met in mid-jump and ended up in a pile on the floor.

“Yes it is,” said Anna. She scratched Cleo’s head and studied the picture in The Book.

“See there’s the white crown—”

“I don’t want to be a mummy,” moaned Sam in the gathering green cloud.

“—and there’s the red crown.”

A flower of dense green fog bloomed and covered Book, sister, and cat.

“Here we go again,” said Fred.

Then the fog swallowed us, and we were gone.

TWO

Now before things get out of hand (and you know they will as soon as we land), I’d like

to take a minute to explain a few things.

First of all—I had no idea what I was getting into when my uncle Joe gave me The Book

for my birthday. It turns out that this is no ordinary book. This thing is a time machine. Every

time we open it, it takes us to a different time. Which sounds like great fun. But there is one

little problem. The only way to get back to our time is to find The Book in the other time.

And whenever we time travel, The Book has a nasty habit of disappearing.

We’ve gotten in trouble looking for The Book in King Arthur’s court, on Blackbeard’s

pirate ship, in a stone-age cave, and in places you don’t even want to know about.

So you would think by now we would have figured out how to use The Book without

losing it.

Well . . . we haven’t. And if you’ve got any bright ideas of what we should do—keep

them to yourself.

Sorry if I sound a little cranky. But this disappearing Book thing is starting to get on my

nerves. I swore to Sam and Fred that I would figure out The Book before it took us on any

more time travels. Then my wonderful sister had to go and get us in the same mess again. I

may just have to ask my mom about The Book straight out. She gave it to Uncle Joe, and I

have a sneaking feeling she knows more than she’s telling.

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Jon Scieszka - Time Warp Trio 06 - Tut, Tut

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