Chapter 1. Lacuna
L
lacuna was slogging through a blue funk. It clung to her body, making her seem
prematurely middle-aged. It infused her clothing, making it dowdy. It smirched
her face, making wrinkles start to think of appearing. It washed through her
hair, rinsing it dishwater dull. In fact, it permeated her whole life, making
her thirty-four years old.
She had been young once; she was sure of it. She and her twin brother, Hiatus,
had been genuine mischief as children. She remembered fondly how they had
messed up the wedding of Good Magician Humfrey and the Gorgon, when they were
only three years old. At that time their parents, the Zombie Master and Millie
the ghost, had been sharing the Good Magician's castle, because it dated from
the time eight hundred years before when their parents had first lived. It had
seemed only natural that the cute twins should carry the end of the bride's
long train. But they had done more than that. Hiatus had made eyes, ears, and
noses sprout from things, that being his talent, and Lacuna had changed the
print in the manual so that instead of saying things like "until death do you
part," it had said "the few measly years before you croak.' * For some reason
La-
1
2 Question Quest
cuna's mother had not found that very funny. Well, Lacuna was older now, and
could see her mother's point. But it only reminded her how she herself had
never married. She would have settled for the worst of weddings, for the sake
of a good marriage. Or for a mediocre marriage, instead of mediocre old
maidenhood.
Later they had moved to New Castle Zombie in southern Xanth, which had been
fine. She and Hiatus had had separate rooms, and had teased the poor zombies
mercilessly. Somehow it seemed that the best of her life had been used up in
childhood. Once she grew up and joined the Adult Conspiracy, her life had
become a time of tedium followed by a period of monotony trailed by an age of
boredom working into years of sheer unmitigated blah. Finally the funk had set
in, and now she was fed up to her tired eyeballs with it. So she was doing
something about it: she was visiting the Good Magician with a Question.
Now she came to the region of the Good Magician's Castle. It was not as she
remembered it, because it kept changing. She understood that, and was not put
off. She knew that she would have to brave three challenges before she could
get in and see the Good Magician. At least they should be interesting.
A low jungle surrounded the castle. The magic path she was on led right up to
it, then petered out in a thicket of hands and feet. She recognized the type:
palmettos. The palms were on stems, their fingers splayed, while the toes grew
along the ground, covering it up.
Well, such plants were generally harmless. The palms could get a bit fresh
when buxom young women brushed by them, but they would probably just ignore
Lacuna. Still, it was best to find a path through them, because dangerous
creatures could hide among them and attack the feet of someone who plowed
blithely through. So she walked to the side, finding a space between plants.