Zealand. Kennedy was assassinated just after midday on Friday 22 November in Dallas, Texas.
(Because of the International Dateline, it was early on the morning of Saturday 23 November in
New Zealand when JFK died.)
I never had an eighteenth birthday party; never marked my coming of age as many adults do.
Instead I spent the day acting as copy-runner, coffee maker and library assistant at the 8 O'Clock
offices, helping to put together a special memorial edition of the paper.
Traditionally, the 8 O'Clock was a place to read reports and results from sports fixtures. It had
a news section, but this was merely an adjunct of its parent paper, the Auckland Star. But for
once, thanks to quirks of timing and international time differences, a story had fallen into the 8
O'Clock's lap – the biggest story of the decade. After that day, it was inevitable that I would be a
journalist – what other job could be that exciting?
The world lost its innocence that day and I left behind my childhood at the same time. More
than three decades have passed since then, and every year we learn a little bit more about JFK:
his womanizing, his vanity, his human frailties. But still the myth of Camelot – a glorious time
when the world was a better place – grows ever stronger.
After the death of John F. Kennedy, I became fascinated with the late, lamented president and
began what has proved to be a lifetime of research into what really happened that day in Dallas.
Meanwhile, the investigative skills I was developing in my spare time were paying off at work. I
pursued a career in journalism: first as a cadet in the provinces, then a shift to the big
metropolitan papers. There I learnt about writing and researching, making contacts and fostering
friendships, sub-editing and betrayal and ambition. I also learnt about my past.
I was born on 23 November 1945, the illegitimate son of an American GI stationed in New
Zealand on his way to the war in the Pacific. When my mother told him she was pregnant, he
became furious with her, refused to acknowledge his responsibilities, and accused her of being a
whore. My mother was only seventeen. The GI went off to war, leaving her with nothing. He died
two weeks later, the victim of friendly fire.
To be an unmarried pregnant girl of seventeen in New Zealand during the Second World War
made you as much of a social outcast as if you were a leper. The fact that my mother came from
one of Auckland's wealthiest and most influential families just made her shame greater. Twice she
tried to kill herself, without success. When I was born, I was immediately put up for adoption.
My foster parents told me on my 21st birthday that I had been adopted, but it came as little
surprise. There had always been a barrier between myself and the rest of the family; now I knew
the real reason why. I determined to find out all I could about my past so I could confront my
natural mother – why she had abandoned me.
Eventually, when I had learnt all I could, I went to my natural mother's family home in
Remuera, Auckland's richest residential area. The house was an immense wooden mansion, with a
carefully raked gravel driveway and a gardener trimming the high hedges that shielded the
property from view of the road.
I pushed the front-door bell and a cold-faced woman in her mid-forties answered it. Her
greying hair was pulled back from her face, and her eyes were dead inside. I turned and walked
away, ignoring her questions. There was no love in her, yet she was richer than I could ever hope
to become in New Zealand. It was time to move on.
Nearly five years after that fateful day in Dallas, I left for Britain with the ambition to work in
Fleet Street – the home of newspaper journalism. I arrived in England in 1968. Across the
Atlantic, Robert Kennedy was assassinated – shot down like his brother before him. The golden
age of Camelot was long gone, and the world was becoming ever more bitter and cynical: the
escalating war in Vietnam; growing conflict between generations; and the gap between rich and
poor always expanding. What had been a decade of idealism and the urge to change things for the
better seemed to have turned sour.
I never really abandoned my fascination for the Kennedy family and its tragedies, but instead
concentrated on my career, on myself. Looking back now, I realize that I became as selfish and
cynical and bitter as the rapidly approaching new decade. Of course I flourished, moving quickly
from worthy provincial papers to the gutter press of Fleet Street, my rise taking months when
most take years.
My training in New Zealand stood me in good stead, and I soon landed a top job on the Daily