pool to a dome of glowing indigo lying close overhead; and in that pure transparent indigo floats the
thinnest new moon imaginable, a mere sliver of a crescent, which nevertheless illuminates very clearly the
great ocean of ice rolling to the horizon in all directions, the moonlight glittering on the snow, gleaming
on the ice, and all of it tinted the same vivid indigo as the sky; everything still and motionless; the clarity
of the light unlike anything you've ever seen, like nothing on Earth, and you all alone in it, the only
witness, the sole inhabitant of the planet it seems; and the uncanny beauty of the scene rises in you and
clamps your chest tight, and your heart breaks then simply because it is squeezed so hard, because the
world is so spacious and pure and beautiful, and because moments like this one are so transient-impossible
to imagine beforehand, impossible to remember afterward, and never to be returned to, never ever. That's
heartbreak as well, yes- happening at the very same moment you realize you've fallen in love with the
place, despite all.
Or so it all happened to the young man looking out the windows of the lead vehicle of that spring's
South Pole Overland Traverse train-the Sandwich, as he had been called for the last few weeks, also the
Earl of Sandwich, the Earl, the Duke of Earl (with appropriate vocal riff), and the Duke; and then, because
these variations seemed to be running thin, and appeared also to touch something of a sore spot, he was
once again referred to by the nicknames he had received in Antarctica the year before: Extra Large, which
was the size announced prominently on the front of his tan Carhartt overalls; and then of course Extra; and
then just plain X. "Hey X, they need you to shovel snow off the comms roof, get over there!"
After the sandwich variations he had been very happy to return to this earlier name, a name that anyway
seemed to express his mood and situation-the alienated, anonymous, might-as-well-be-illiterate-and-
signing-his-name-with-a-mark General Field Assistant, the Good For Anything, The Man With No Name.
It was the name he used himself-"Hey Ron, this is X, I'm on the comms roof, the snow is gone. What next,
over. "-thus naming himself in classic Erik Erikson style, to indicate his rebirth and seizure of his own life
destiny. And so X returned to general usage, and became again his one and only name. Call me X. He was
X.
The SPOT train rolled majestically over the polar cap, ten vehicles in a row, moving at about twenty
kilometers an hour-not bad, considering the terrain. X's lead vehicle crunched smoothly along, running
over the tracks of previous SPOT trains, tracks that were in places higher than the surrounding snow, as
the wind etched the softer drifts away. The other tractors were partly visible out the little back window of
the high cab, looking like the earthmovers that in fact had been their design ancestors. Other than that,
nothing but the polar plateau itself. A circular plain of whiteness, the same in all directions, the various
broad undulations obscure in the starlight, obvious in the track of reflected moonlight.
As the people who had warned him had said, there was nothing for him to do. The train of vehicles was
on automatic pilot, navigating by GPS, and nothing was likely to malfunction. If something did, X was not
to do anything about it; the other tractors would maneuver around any total breakdowns, and a crew of
mechanics would be flown out later to take care of it. No-X was there, he had decided, because somebody
up in the world had had the vague feeling that if there was a train of tractors rolling from McMurdo to the
South Pole, then there ought to be a human being along. Nothing more rational than that. In effect he was
a good-luck charm; he was the rabbit's foot hanging from the rear-view mirror. Which was silly. But in his
two seasons on the ice X had performed a great number of silly tasks, and he had begun to understand that
there was very little that was rational about anyone's presence in Antarctica. The rational reasons were all
just rationales for an underlying irrationality, which was the desire to be down here. And why that desire?
This was the question, this was the mystery. X now supposed that it was. A different mix of motives for
every person down there- explore, expand, escape, evaporate-and then under those, perhaps something
else, something basic and very much the same for all-like Mallory's explanation for trying to climb
Everest: because it's there. Because it's there! That's reason enough!
And so here he was. Alone on the Antarctic polar plateau, driving across a frozen cake of ice two miles
thick and a continent wide, a cake that held ninety-five percent of the world's fresh water, etc. Of course it
had sounded exciting when it was first mentioned to him, no matter the warnings. Now that he was here,
he saw what people had meant when they said it was boring, but it was interesting too-boring in an
interesting way, so to speak. Like operating a freight elevator that no one ever used, or being stuck in a