The Rose and the Ring(玫瑰与戒指)
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2024-12-26
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The Rose and the Ring
1
The Rose and the Ring
by William Makepeace Thackeray
The Rose and the Ring
2
PRELUDE
It happened that the undersigned spent the last Christmas season in a
foreign city where there were many English children.
In that city, if you wanted to give a child's party, you could not even
get a magic-lantern or buy Twelfth-Night characters--those funny painted
pictures of the King, the Queen, the Lover, the Lady, the Dandy, the
Captain, and so on-- with which our young ones are wont to recreate
themselves at this festive time.
My friend Miss Bunch, who was governess of a large family that lived
in the Piano Nobile of the house inhabited by myself and my young
charges (it was the Palazzo Poniatowski at Rome, and Messrs. Spillmann,
two of the best pastrycooks in Christendom, have their shop on the ground
floor): Miss Bunch, I say, begged me to draw a set of Twelfth-Night
characters for the amusement of our young people.
She is a lady of great fancy and droll imagination, and having looked
at the characters, she and I composed a history about them, which was
recited to the little folks at night, and served as our FIRESIDE
PANTOMIME.
Our juvenile audience was amused by the adventures of Giglio and
Bulbo, Rosalba and Angelica. I am bound to say the fate of the Hall
Porter created a considerable sensation; and the wrath of Countess
Gruffanuff was received with extreme pleasure.
If these children are pleased, thought I, why should not others be
amused also? In a few days Dr. Birch's young friends will be expected to
reassemble at Rodwell Regis, where they will learn everything that is
useful, and under the eyes of careful ushers continue the business of their
little lives.
But, in the meanwhile, and for a brief holiday, let us laugh and be as
pleasant as we can. And you elder folk--a little joking, and dancing, and
fooling will do even you no harm. The author wishes you a merry
Christmas, and welcomes you to the Fireside Pantomime.
W. M. THACKERAY. December 1854.
The Rose and the Ring
3
I. SHOWS HOW THE ROYAL FAMILY SATE DOWN TO
BREAKFAST
This is Valoroso XXIV., King of Paflagonia, seated with his Queen and
only child at their royal breakfast-table, and receiving the letter which
announces to His Majesty a proposed visit from Prince Bulbo, heir of
Padella, reigning King of Crim Tartary. Remark the delight upon the
monarch's royal features. He is so absorbed in the perusal of the King of
Crim Tartary's letter, that he allows his eggs to get cold, and leaves his
august muffins untasted.
'What! that wicked, brave, delightful Prince Bulbo!' cries Princess
Angelica; 'so handsome, so accomplished, so witty--the conqueror of
Rimbombamento, where he slew ten thousand giants!'
'Who told you of him, my dear?' asks His Majesty.
'A little bird,' says Angelica.
'Poor Giglio!' says mamma, pouring out the tea.
'Bother Giglio!' cries Angelica, tossing up her head, which rustled with
a thousand curl-papers.
'I wish,' growls the King--'I wish Giglio was. . .'
'Was better? Yes, dear, he is better,' says the Queen. 'Angelica's little
maid, Betsinda, told me so when she came to my room this morning with
my early tea.'
'You are always drinking tea,' said the monarch, with a scowl.
'It is better than drinking port or brandy and water;' replies Her
Majesty.
'Well, well, my dear, I only said you were fond of drinking tea,' said
the King of Paflagonia, with an effort as if to command his temper.
'Angelica! I hope you have plenty of new dresses; your milliners' bills
are long enough. My dear Queen, you must see and have some parties.
I prefer dinners, but of course you will be for balls. Your everlasting blue
velvet quite tires me: and, my love, I should like you to have a new
necklace. Order one. Not more than a hundred or a hundred and fifty
thousand pounds.'
The Rose and the Ring
4
'And Giglio, dear?' says the Queen.
'GIGLIO MAY GO TO THE--'
'Oh, sir,' screams Her Majesty. 'Your own nephew! our late King's
only son.'
'Giglio may go to the tailor's, and order the bills to be sent in to
Glumboso to pay. Confound him! I mean bless his dear heart. He
need want for nothing; give him a couple of guineas for pocket-money, my
dear; and you may as well order yourself bracelets while you are about the
necklace, Mrs. V.'
Her Majesty, or MRS. V., as the monarch facetiously called her (for
even royalty will have its sport, and this august family were very much
attached), embraced her husband, and, twining her arm round her
daughter's waist, they quitted the breakfast-room in order to make all
things ready for the princely stranger.
When they were gone, the smile that had lighted up the eyes of the
HUSBAND and FATHER fled--the pride of the KING fled--the MAN was
alone. Had I the pen of a G. P. R. James, I would describe Valoroso's
torments in the choicest language; in which I would also depict his
flashing eye, his distended nostril--his dressing-gown, pocket-
handkerchief, and boots. But I need not say I have NOT the pen of that
novelist; suffice it to say, Valoroso was alone.
He rushed to the cupboard, seizing from the table one of the many
egg-cups with which his princely board was served for the matin meal,
drew out a bottle of right Nantz or Cognac, filled and emptied the cup
several times, and laid it down with a hoarse 'Ha, ha, ha! now Valoroso is a
man again!'
'But oh!' he went on (still sipping, I am sorry to say), 'ere I was a king,
I needed not this intoxicating draught; once I detested the hot brandy wine,
and quaffed no other fount but nature's rill. It dashes not more quickly
o'er the rocks than I did, as, with blunderbuss in hand, I brushed away the
early morning dew, and shot the partridge, snipe, or antlered deer! Ah!
well may England's dramatist remark, "Uneasy lies the head that wears a
crown!" Why did I steal my nephew's, my young Giglio's--? Steal!
said I? no, no, no, not steal, not steal. Let me withdraw that odious
The Rose and the Ring
5
expression. I took, and on my manly head I set, the royal crown of
Paflagonia; I took, and with my royal arm I wield, the sceptral rod of
Paflagonia; I took, and in my outstretched hand I hold, the royal orb of
Paflagonia! Could a poor boy, a snivelling, drivelling boy--was in his
nurse's arms but yesterday, and cried for sugarplums and puled for pap--
bear up the awful weight of crown, orb, sceptre? gird on the sword my
royal fathers wore, and meet in fight the tough Crimean foe?'
And then the monarch went on to argue in his own mind (though we
need not say that blank verse is not argument) that what he had got it was
his duty to keep, and that, if at one time he had entertained ideas of a
certain restitution, which shall be nameless, the prospect by a CERTAIN
MARRIAGE of uniting two crowns and two nations which had been
engaged in bloody and expensive wars, as the Paflagonians and the
Crimeans had been, put the idea of Giglio's restoration to the throne out of
the question: nay, were his own brother, King Savio, alive, he would
certainly will the crown from his own son in order to bring about such a
desirable union.
Thus easily do we deceive ourselves! Thus do we fancy what we
wish is right! The King took courage, read the papers, finished his
muffins and eggs, and rang the bell for his Prime Minister. The Queen,
after thinking whether she should go up and see Giglio, who had been sick,
thought 'Not now. Business first; pleasure afterwards. I will go and see
dear Giglio this afternoon; and now I will drive to the jeweller's, to look
for the necklace and bracelets.' The Princess went up into her own room,
and made Betsinda, her maid, bring out all her dresses; and as for Giglio,
they forgot him as much as I forget what I had for dinner last Tuesday
twelve-month.
II. HOW KING VALOROSO GOT THE CROWN, AND
PRINCE GIGLIO WENT WITHOUT
Paflagonia, ten or twenty thousand years ago, appears to have been
one of those kingdoms where the laws of succession were not settled; for
when King Savio died, leaving his brother Regent of the kingdom, and
The Rose and the Ring
6
guardian of Savio's orphan infant, this unfaithful regent took no sort of
regard of the late monarch's will; had himself proclaimed sovereign of
Paflagonia under the title of King Valoroso XXIV., had a most splendid
coronation, and ordered all the nobles of the kingdom to pay him homage.
So long as Valoroso gave them plenty of balls at Court, plenty of money
and lucrative places, the Paflagonian nobility did not care who was king;
and as for the people, in those early times, they were equally indifferent.
The Prince Giglio, by reason of his tender age at his royal father's death,
did not feel the loss of his crown and empire. As long as he had plenty of
toys and sweetmeats, a holiday five times a week and a horse and gun to
go out shooting when he grew a little older, and, above all, the company of
his darling cousin, the King's only child, poor Giglio was perfectly
contented; nor did he envy his uncle the royal robes and sceptre, the great
hot uncomfortable throne of state, and the enormous cumbersome crown
in which that monarch appeared from morning till night. King Valoroso's
portrait has been left to us; and I think you will agree with me that he must
have been sometimes RATHER TIRED of his velvet, and his diamonds,
and his ermine, and his grandeur. I shouldn't like to sit in that stifling
robe with such a thing as that on my head.
No doubt, the Queen must have been lovely in her youth; for though
she grew rather stout in after life, yet her features, as shown in her portrait,
are certainly PLEASING. If she was fond of flattery, scandal, cards, and
fine clothes, let us deal gently with her infirmities, which, after all, may be
no greater than our own. She was kind to her nephew; and if she had any
scruples of conscience about her husband's taking the young Prince's
crown, consoled herself by thinking that the King, though a usurper, was a
most respectable man, and that at his death Prince Giglio would be
restored to his throne, and share it with his cousin, whom he loved so
fondly.
The Prime Minister was Glumboso, an old statesman, who most
cheerfully swore fidelity to King Valoroso, and in whose hands the
monarch left all the affairs of his kingdom. All Valoroso wanted was
plenty of money, plenty of hunting, plenty of flattery, and as little trouble
as possible. As long as he had his sport, this monarch cared little how his
The Rose and the Ring
7
people paid for it: he engaged in some wars, and of course the
Paflagonian newspapers announced that he had gained prodigious
victories: he had statues erected to himself in every city of the empire;
and of course his pictures placed everywhere, and in all the print-shops:
he was Valoroso the Magnanimous, Valoroso the Victorious, Valoroso the
Great, and so forth;--for even in these early times courtiers and people
knew how to flatter.
This royal pair had one only child, the Princess Angelica, who, you
may be sure, was a paragon in the courtiers' eyes, in her parents', and in
her own. It was said she had the longest hair, the largest eyes, the
slimmest waist, the smallest foot, and the most lovely complexion of any
young lady in the Paflagonian dominions. Her accomplishments were
announced to be even superior to her beauty; and governesses used to
shame their idle pupils by telling them what Princess Angelica could do.
She could play the most difficult pieces of music at sight. She could
answer any one of Mangnall's Questions. She knew every date in the
history of Paflagonia, and every other country. She knew French,
English, Italian, German, Spanish, Hebrew, Greek, Latin, Cappadocian,
Samothracian, Aegean, and Crim Tartar. In a word, she was a most
accomplished young creature; and her governess and lady-in-waiting was
the severe Countess Gruffanuff.
Would you not fancy, from this picture, that Gruffanuff must have
been a person of highest birth? She looks so haughty that I should have
thought her a princess at the very least, with a pedigree reaching as far
back as the Deluge. But this lady was no better born than many other
ladies who give themselves airs; and all sensible people laughed at her
absurd pretensions. The fact is, she had been maid-servant to the Queen
when Her Majesty was only Princess, and her husband had been head
footman; but after his death or DISAPPEARANCE, of which you shall
hear presently, this Mrs. Gruffanuff, by flattering, toadying, and
wheedling her royal mistress, became a favourite with the Queen (who
was rather a weak woman), and Her Majesty gave her a title, and made her
nursery governess to the Princess.
And now I must tell you about the Princess's learning and
The Rose and the Ring
8
accomplishments, for which she had such a wonderful character. Clever
Angelica certainly was, but as IDLE as POSSIBLE. Play at sight, indeed!
she could play one or two pieces, and pretend that she had never seen
them before; she could answer half a dozen Mangnall's Questions; but
then you must take care to ask the RIGHT ones. As for her languages,
she had masters in plenty, but I doubt whether she knew more than a few
phrases in each, for all her presence; and as for her embroidery and her
drawing, she showed beautiful specimens, it is true, but WHO DID
THEM?
This obliges me to tell the truth, and to do so I must go back ever so
far, and tell you about the FAIRY BLACKSTICK.
III. TELLS WHO THE FAIRY BLACKSTICK WAS, AND
WHO WERE EVER SO MANY GRAND PERSONAGES BESIDES
Between the kingdoms of Paflagonia and Crim Tartary, there lived a
mysterious personage, who was known in those countries as the Fairy
Blackstick, from the ebony wand or crutch which she carried; on which
she rode to the moon sometimes, or upon other excursions of business or
pleasure, and with which she performed her wonders.
When she was young, and had been first taught the art of conjuring by
the necromancer, her father, she was always practicing her skill, whizzing
about from one kingdom to another upon her black stick, and conferring
her fairy favours upon this Prince or that. She had scores of royal
godchildren; turned numberless wicked people into beasts, birds,
millstones, clocks, pumps, boot jacks, umbrellas, or other absurd shapes;
and, in a word, was one of the most active and officious of the whole
College of fairies.
But after two or three thousand years of this sport, I suppose
Blackstick grew tired of it. Or perhaps she thought, 'What good am I
doing by sending this Princess to sleep for a hundred years? by fixing a
black pudding on to that booby's nose? by causing diamonds and pearls to
drop from one little girl's mouth, and vipers and toads from another's? I
begin to think I do as much harm as good by my performances. I might
The Rose and the Ring
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as well shut my incantations up, and allow things to take their natural
course.
'There were my two young goddaughters, King Savio's wife, and Duke
Padella's wife, I gave them each a present, which was to render them
charming in the eyes of their husbands, and secure the affection of those
gentlemen as long as they lived. What good did my Rose and my Ring
do these two women? None on earth. From having all their whims
indulged by their husbands, they became capricious, lazy, ill-humoured,
absurdly vain, and leered and languished, and fancied themselves
irresistibly beautiful, when they were really quite old and hideous, the
ridiculous creatures! They used actually to patronise me when I went to
pay them a visit--ME, the Fairy Blackstick, who knows all the wisdom of
the necromancers, and could have turned them into baboons, and all their
diamonds into strings of onions, by a single wave of my rod!' So she
locked up her books in her cupboard, declined further magical
performances, and scarcely used her wand at all except as a cane to walk
about with.
So when Duke Padella's lady had a little son (the Duke was at that
time only one of the principal noblemen in Crim Tartary), Blackstick,
although invited to the christening, would not so much as attend; but
merely sent her compliments and a silver papboat for the baby, which was
really not worth a couple of guineas. About the same time the Queen of
Paflagonia presented His Majesty with a son and heir; and guns were fired,
the capital illuminated, and no end of feasts ordained to celebrate the
young Prince's birth. It was thought the fairy, who was asked to be his
godmother, would at least have presented him with an invisible jacket, a
flying horse, a Fortunatus's purse, or some other valuable token of her
favour; but instead, Blackstick went up to the cradle of the child Giglio,
when everybody was admiring him and complimenting his royal papa and
mamma, and said, 'My poor child, the best thing I can send you is a little
MISFORTUNE'; and this was all she would utter, to the disgust of Giglio's
parents, who died very soon after, when Giglio's uncle took the throne, as
we read in Chapter I.
In like manner, when CAVOLFIORE, King of Crim Tartary, had a
The Rose and the Ring
10
christening of his only child, ROSALBA, the Fairy Blackstick, who had
been invited, was not more gracious than in Prince Giglio's case. Whilst
everybody was expatiating over the beauty of the darling child, and
congratulating its parents, the Fairy Blackstick looked very sadly at the
baby and its mother, and said, 'My good woman (for the Fairy was very
familiar, and no more minded a Queen than a washerwoman)--my good
woman, these people who are following you will be the first to turn
against you; and as for this little lady, the best thing I can wish her is a
LITTLE MISFORTUNE.' So she touched Rosalba with her black wand,
looked severely at the courtiers, motioned the Queen an adieu with her
hand, and sailed slowly up into the air out of the window.
When she was gone, the Court people, who had been awed and silent
in her presence, began to speak. 'What an odious Fairy she is (they said)-
-a pretty Fairy, indeed! Why, she went to the King of Paflagonia's
christening, and pretended to do all sorts of things for that family; and
what has happened--the Prince, her godson, has been turned off his throne
by his uncle. Would we allow our sweet Princess to be deprived of her
rights by any enemy? Never, never, never, never!'
And they all shouted in a chorus, 'Never, never, never, never!'
Now, I should like to know, and how did these fine courtiers show
their fidelity? One of King Cavolfiore's vassals, the Duke Padella just
mentioned, rebelled against the King, who went out to chastise his
rebellious subject. 'Any one rebel against our beloved and august
Monarch!' cried the courtiers; 'any one resist HIM? Pooh! He is
invincible, irresistible. He will bring home Padella a prisoner, and tie
him to a donkey's tail, and drive him round the town, saying, "This is the
way the Great Cavolfiore treats rebels."'
The King went forth to vanquish Padella; and the poor Queen, who
was a very timid, anxious creature, grew so frightened and ill that I am
sorry to say she died; leaving injunctions with her ladies to take care of the
dear little Rosalba.--Of course they said they would. Of course they
vowed they would die rather than any harm should happen to the Princess.
At first the Crim Tartar Court Journal stated that the King was obtaining
great victories over the audacious rebel: then it was announced that the
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TheRoseandtheRing1TheRoseandtheRingbyWilliamMakepeaceThackerayTheRoseandtheRing2PRELUDEIthappenedthattheundersignedspentthelastChristmasseasoninaforeigncitywherethereweremanyEnglishchildren.Inthatcity,ifyouwantedtogiveachild'sparty,youcouldnotevengetamagic-lanternorbuyTwelfth-Nightcharacters--thosef...
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