as you like it(皆大欢喜)

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AS YOU LIKE IT

William Shakespeare

1601

AS YOU LIKE IT

DRAMATIS PERSONAE.

DUKE, living in exile FREDERICK, his brother, and usurper of his

dominions AMIENS, lord attending on the banished Duke JAQUES, " " "

" " " LE BEAU, a courtier attending upon Frederick CHARLES, wrestler

to Frederick OLIVER, son of Sir Rowland de Boys JAQUES, " " " " " "

ORLANDO, " " " " " " ADAM, servant to Oliver DENNIS, " " "

TOUCHSTONE, the court jester SIR OLIVER MARTEXT, a vicar

CORIN, shepherd SILVIUS, " WILLIAM, a country fellow, in love with

Audrey A person representing HYMEN

ROSALIND, daughter to the banished Duke CELIA, daughter to

Frederick PHEBE, a shepherdess AUDREY, a country wench

Lords, Pages, Foresters, and Attendants

AS YOU LIKE IT

ACT I.

AS YOU LIKE IT

SCENE I. Orchard of OLIVER'S house

Enter ORLANDO and ADAM

ORLANDO. As I remember, Adam, it was upon this fashion

bequeathed me by will but poor a thousand crowns, and, as thou say'st,

charged my brother, on his blessing, to breed me well; and there begins

my sadness. My brother Jaques he keeps at school, and report speaks

goldenly of his profit. For my part, he keeps me rustically at home, or, to

speak more properly, stays me here at home unkept; for call you that

keeping for a gentleman of my birth that differs not from the stalling of an

ox? His horses are bred better; for, besides that they are fair with their

feeding, they are taught their manage, and to that end riders dearly hir'd;

but I, his brother, gain nothing under him but growth; for the which his

animals on his dunghills are as much bound to him as I. Besides this

nothing that he so plentifully gives me, the something that nature gave me

his countenance seems to take from me. He lets me feed with his hinds,

bars me the place of a brother, and as much as in him lies, mines my

gentility with my education. This is it, Adam, that grieves me; and the

spirit of my father, which I think is within me, begins to mutiny against

this servitude. I will no longer endure it, though yet I know no wise

remedy how to avoid it.

Enter OLIVER

ADAM. Yonder comes my master, your brother. ORLANDO. Go

apart, Adam, and thou shalt hear how he will shake me up. [ADAM retires]

OLIVER. Now, sir! what make you here? ORLANDO. Nothing; I am not

taught to make any thing. OLIVER. What mar you then, sir? ORLANDO.

Marry, sir, I am helping you to mar that which God made, a poor unworthy

brother of yours, with idleness. OLIVER. Marry, sir, be better employed,

and be nought awhile. ORLANDO. Shall I keep your hogs, and eat husks

with them? What prodigal portion have I spent that I should come to such

penury? OLIVER. Know you where you are, sir? ORLANDO. O, sir, very

well; here in your orchard. OLIVER. Know you before whom, sir?

ORLANDO. Ay, better than him I am before knows me. I know you are

my eldest brother; and in the gentle condition of blood, you should so

AS YOU LIKE IT

know me. The courtesy of nations allows you my better in that you are the

first-born; but the same tradition takes not away my blood, were there

twenty brothers betwixt us. I have as much of my father in me as you,

albeit I confess your coming before me is nearer to his reverence.

OLIVER. What, boy! [Strikes him] ORLANDO. Come, come, elder

brother, you are too young in this. OLIVER. Wilt thou lay hands on me,

villain? ORLANDO. I am no villain; I am the youngest son of Sir

Rowland de Boys. He was my father; and he is thrice a villain that says

such a father begot villains. Wert thou not my brother, I would not take

this hand from thy throat till this other had pull'd out thy tongue for saying

so. Thou has rail'd on thyself. ADAM. [Coming forward] Sweet masters,

be patient; for your father's remembrance, be at accord. OLIVER. Let me

go, I say. ORLANDO. I will not, till I please; you shall hear me. My father

charg'd you in his will to give me good education: you have train'd me like

a peasant, obscuring and hiding from me all gentleman-like qualities. The

spirit of my father grows strong in me, and I will no longer endure it;

therefore allow me such exercises as may become a gentleman, or give me

the poor allottery my father left me by testament; with that I will go buy

my fortunes. OLIVER. And what wilt thou do? Beg, when that is spent?

Well, sir, get you in. I will not long be troubled with you; you shall have

some part of your will. I pray you leave me. ORLANDO. I no further

offend you than becomes me for my good. OLIVER. Get you with him,

you old dog. ADAM. Is 'old dog' my reward? Most true, I have lost my

teeth in your service. God be with my old master! He would not have

spoke such a word. Exeunt ORLANDO and ADAM OLIVER. Is it even

so? Begin you to grow upon me? I will physic your rankness, and yet give

no thousand crowns neither. Holla, Dennis!

Enter DENNIS

DENNIS. Calls your worship? OLIVER. Was not Charles, the Duke's

wrestler, here to speak with me? DENNIS. So please you, he is here at the

door and importunes access to you. OLIVER. Call him in. [Exit DENNIS]

'Twill be a good way; and to-morrow the wrestling is.

Enter CHARLES

CHARLES. Good morrow to your worship. OLIVER. Good

AS YOU LIKE IT

Monsieur Charles! What's the new news at the new court? CHARLES.

There's no news at the court, sir, but the old news; that is, the old Duke is

banished by his younger brother the new Duke; and three or four loving

lords have put themselves into voluntary exile with him, whose lands and

revenues enrich the new Duke; therefore he gives them good leave to

wander. OLIVER. Can you tell if Rosalind, the Duke's daughter, be

banished with her father? CHARLES. O, no; for the Duke's daughter, her

cousin, so loves her, being ever from their cradles bred together, that she

would have followed her exile, or have died to stay behind her. She is at

the court, and no less beloved of her uncle than his own daughter; and

never two ladies loved as they do. OLIVER. Where will the old Duke live?

CHARLES. They say he is already in the Forest of Arden, and a many

merry men with him; and there they live like the old Robin Hood of

England. They say many young gentlemen flock to him every day, and

fleet the time carelessly, as they did in the golden world. OLIVER. What,

you wrestle to-morrow before the new Duke? CHARLES. Marry, do I, sir;

and I came to acquaint you with a matter. I am given, sir, secretly to

understand that your younger brother, Orlando, hath a disposition to come

in disguis'd against me to try a fall. To-morrow, sir, I wrestle for my credit;

and he that escapes me without some broken limb shall acquit him well.

Your brother is but young and tender; and, for your love, I would be loath

to foil him, as I must, for my own honour, if he come in; therefore, out of

my love to you, I came hither to acquaint you withal, that either you might

stay him from his intendment, or brook such disgrace well as he shall run

into, in that it is thing of his own search and altogether against my will.

OLIVER. Charles, I thank thee for thy love to me, which thou shalt find I

will most kindly requite. I had myself notice of my brother's purpose

herein, and have by underhand means laboured to dissuade him from it;

but he is resolute. I'll tell thee, Charles, it is the stubbornest young fellow

of France; full of ambition, an envious emulator of every man's good parts,

a secret and villainous contriver against me his natural brother. Therefore

use thy discretion: I had as lief thou didst break his neck as his finger. And

thou wert best look to't; for if thou dost him any slight disgrace, or if he do

not mightily grace himself on thee, he will practise against thee by poison,

AS YOU LIKE IT

entrap thee by some treacherous device, and never leave thee till he hath

ta'en thy life by some indirect means or other; for, I assure thee, and

almost with tears I speak it, there is not one so young and so villainous this

day living. I speak but brotherly of him; but should I anatomize him to

thee as he is, I must blush and weep, and thou must look pale and wonder.

CHARLES. I am heartily glad I came hither to you. If he come to-morrow

I'll give him his payment. If ever he go alone again, I'll never wrestle for

prize more. And so, God keep your worship! Exit OLIVER. Farewell,

good Charles. Now will I stir this gamester. I hope I shall see an end of

him; for my soul, yet I know not why, hates nothing more than he. Yet he's

gentle; never school'd and yet learned; full of noble device; of all sorts

enchantingly beloved; and, indeed, so much in the heart of the world, and

especially of my own people, who best know him, that I am altogether

misprised. But it shall not be so long; this wrestler shall clear all. Nothing

remains but that I kindle the boy thither, which now I'll go about. Exit

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AS YOU LIKE IT

SCENE II. A lawn before the DUKE'S palace

Enter ROSALIND and CELIA

CELIA. I pray thee, Rosalind, sweet my coz, be merry. ROSALIND.

Dear Celia, I show more mirth than I am mistress of; and would you yet I

were merrier? Unless you could teach me to forget a banished father, you

must not learn me how to remember any extraordinary pleasure. CELIA.

Herein I see thou lov'st me not with the full weight that I love thee. If my

uncle, thy banished father, had banished thy uncle, the Duke my father, so

thou hadst been still with me, I could have taught my love to take thy

father for mine; so wouldst thou, if the truth of thy love to me were so

righteously temper'd as mine is to thee. ROSALIND. Well, I will forget

the condition of my estate, to rejoice in yours. CELIA. You know my

father hath no child but I, nor none is like to have; and, truly, when he dies

thou shalt be his heir; for what he hath taken away from thy father

perforce, I will render thee again in affection. By mine honour, I will; and

when I break that oath, let me turn monster; therefore, my sweet Rose, my

dear Rose, be merry. ROSALIND. From henceforth I will, coz, and devise

sports. Let me see; what think you of falling in love? CELIA. Marry, I

prithee, do, to make sport withal; but love no man in good earnest, nor no

further in sport neither than with safety of a pure blush thou mayst in

honour come off again. ROSALIND. What shall be our sport, then?

CELIA. Let us sit and mock the good housewife Fortune from her wheel,

that her gifts may henceforth be bestowed equally. ROSALIND. I would

we could do so; for her benefits are mightily misplaced; and the bountiful

blind woman doth most mistake in her gifts to women. CELIA. 'Tis true;

for those that she makes fair she scarce makes honest; and those that she

makes honest she makes very ill-favouredly. ROSALIND. Nay; now thou

goest from Fortune's office to Nature's: Fortune reigns in gifts of the world,

not in the lineaments of Nature.

Enter TOUCHSTONE

CELIA. No; when Nature hath made a fair creature, may she not by

Fortune fall into the fire? Though Nature hath given us wit to flout at

Fortune, hath not Fortune sent in this fool to cut off the argument?

AS YOU LIKE IT

ROSALIND. Indeed, there is Fortune too hard for Nature, when Fortune

makes Nature's natural the cutter-off of Nature's wit. CELIA. Peradventure

this is not Fortune's work neither, but Nature's, who perceiveth our natural

wits too dull to reason of such goddesses, and hath sent this natural for our

whetstone; for always the dullness of the fool is the whetstone of the wits.

How now, wit! Whither wander you? TOUCHSTONE. Mistress, you must

come away to your father. CELIA. Were you made the messenger?

TOUCHSTONE. No, by mine honour; but I was bid to come for you.

ROSALIND. Where learned you that oath, fool? TOUCHSTONE. Of a

certain knight that swore by his honour they were good pancakes, and

swore by his honour the mustard was naught. Now I'll stand to it, the

pancakes were naught and the mustard was good, and yet was not the

knight forsworn. CELIA. How prove you that, in the great heap of your

knowledge? ROSALIND. Ay, marry, now unmuzzle your wisdom.

TOUCHSTONE. Stand you both forth now: stroke your chins, and swear

by your beards that I am a knave. CELIA. By our beards, if we had them,

thou art. TOUCHSTONE. By my knavery, if I had it, then I were. But if

you swear by that that is not, you are not forsworn; no more was this

knight, swearing by his honour, for he never had any; or if he had, he had

sworn it away before ever he saw those pancackes or that mustard. CELIA.

Prithee, who is't that thou mean'st? TOUCHSTONE. One that old

Frederick, your father, loves. CELIA. My father's love is enough to honour

him. Enough, speak no more of him; you'll be whipt for taxation one of

these days. TOUCHSTONE. The more pity that fools may not speak

wisely what wise men do foolishly. CELIA. By my troth, thou sayest true;

for since the little wit that fools have was silenced, the little foolery that

wise men have makes a great show. Here comes Monsieur Le Beau.

Enter LE BEAU

ROSALIND. With his mouth full of news. CELIA. Which he will put

on us as pigeons feed their young. ROSALIND. Then shall we be news-

cramm'd. CELIA. All the better; we shall be the more marketable. Bon

jour, Monsieur Le Beau. What's the news? LE BEAU. Fair Princess, you

have lost much good sport. CELIA. Sport! of what colour? LE BEAU.

What colour, madam? How shall I answer you? ROSALIND. As wit and

AS YOU LIKE IT

fortune will. TOUCHSTONE. Or as the Destinies decrees. CELIA. Well

said; that was laid on with a trowel. TOUCHSTONE. Nay, if I keep not

my rank- ROSALIND. Thou losest thy old smell. LE BEAU. You amaze

me, ladies. I would have told you of good wrestling, which you have lost

the sight of. ROSALIND. Yet tell us the manner of the wrestling. LE

BEAU. I will tell you the beginning, and, if it please your

ladyships, you may see the end; for the best is yet to do; and here,

where you are, they are coming to perform it. CELIA. Well, the beginning,

that is dead and buried. LE BEAU. There comes an old man and his three

sons- CELIA. I could match this beginning with an old tale. LE BEAU.

Three proper young men, of excellent growth and presence. ROSALIND.

With bills on their necks: 'Be it known unto all men by these presents'- LE

BEAU. The eldest of the three wrestled with Charles, the Duke's wrestler;

which Charles in a moment threw him, and broke three of his ribs, that

there is little hope of life in him. So he serv'd the second, and so the third.

Yonder they lie; the poor old man, their father, making such pitiful dole

over them that all the beholders take his part with weeping. ROSALIND.

Alas! TOUCHSTONE. But what is the sport, monsieur, that the ladies

have lost? LE BEAU. Why, this that I speak of. TOUCHSTONE. Thus

men may grow wiser every day. It is the first time that ever I heard

breaking of ribs was sport for ladies. CELIA. Or I, I promise thee.

ROSALIND. But is there any else longs to see this broken music in his

sides? Is there yet another dotes upon rib-breaking? Shall we see this

wrestling, cousin? LE BEAU. You must, if you stay here; for here is the

place appointed for the wrestling, and they are ready to perform it. CELIA.

Yonder, sure, they are coming. Let us now stay and see it.

Flourish. Enter DUKE FREDERICK, LORDS, ORLANDO,

CHARLES, and ATTENDANTS

FREDERICK. Come on; since the youth will not be entreated, his

own peril on his forwardness. ROSALIND. Is yonder the man? LE BEAU.

Even he, madam. CELIA. Alas, he is too young; yet he looks successfully.

FREDERICK. How now, daughter and cousin! Are you crept hither to see

the wrestling? ROSALIND. Ay, my liege; so please you give us leave.

FREDERICK. You will take little delight in it, I can tell you,

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ASYOULIKEIT1ASYOULIKEITWilliamShakespeare1601ASYOULIKEIT2DRAMATISPERSONAE.DUKE,livinginexileFREDERICK,hisbrother,andusurperofhisdominionsAMIENS,lordattendingonthebanishedDukeJAQUES,""""""LEBEAU,acourtierattendinguponFrederickCHARLES,wrestlertoFrederickOLIVER,sonofSirRowlanddeBoysJAQUES,""""""ORLANDO...

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