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E-mail: bdea@buddhanet.net

Web site: www.buddhanet.net

Buddha Dharma Education Association Inc.

Jacqui James

The Many

Faces of Death

The Many

Faces of Death

iii

The Publisher would like to thank Mr Robert Mann and the Aukana

Trust, England for the kind permission to reprint this booklet for free

distribution,

May the merits from this Dhamma-dana be dedicated to the beloved

memory of these Dhamma teachers:

Jacqui James, the author of this booklet; a meditator; co-founder and

spiritual teacher of the House of Inner Tranquillity, a meditation centre

in Bradford-on-Avon, England; died on 24th February 1989 & Khaw Siew

Tuan, a school teacher at St. Xavier’s Institution, Penang and an adviser

to the school’s Buddhist Students’ Society; a meditator and active helper

at the Mahindarama Buddhist Temple and the Malaysian Buddhist

Meditation Centre in Penang; died on 2nd October 1999.

THE MANY FACES OF DEATH

ISBN 983-9439-35-9

An Inward Journey Book, published by Inward Path

P.O. Box 1034, 10830 Penang, Malaysia

Tel / Fax: 604 659 6696 (direct line). Tel: 604 657 6696 / 890 6696

Email: InwardPath@hotmail.com / sunanda@pc.jaring.my

Website: http://www.buddhanet.net/ipp.htm.

This extract essay, The Many Faces of Death, is from the book: Modern

Buddhism (ISBN 0-9511769-1-9) by Alan & Jacqui James, published

by Aukana Trust, 1993 and with kind permission from Mr Robert

Mann, it has been published by Inward Path, Penang for free dis-

tribution only. The appendix – Facing Death – has been repro-

duced from articles by the Hospis Malaysia, from their website:

http://www.charity.org.my/hospis/html/hp_hmpg.html.

This edition (Year 2000) published by Inward Path Publisher is printed

for free distribution only and not for sale. It serves as an introduction

to the original book. No part of this book may be reproduced in any

manner without written permission from the publisher. For additional

information please contact the publisher.

Perpustakaan Negara Malaysia – Cataloguing-in-Publication Data:

James, Jacqui, 1989

The Many Faces of Death / Jacqui James

iii

illustration by Yeoh Kean Thai

CONTENTS

About The Author........................................................................3

Introduction.......................................................................................5

Preface.....................................................................................................7

The Many Faces of Death...................................................11

The Face Of Terror............................................................12

The Angry Face...................................................................12

Other Faces Of Death.................................................... 14

An Apology ............................................................................15

My Mother’s Illness ........................................................15

The Face Of Denial ..........................................................16

Departure For South Africa....................................19

Coping With The Angry Face...............................21

The Hospice Movement ..............................................23

The Last Days .......................................................................26

Waiting For Death............................................................28

Teachings About Death...............................................29

Being Willing To Die .....................................................31

The Agony Of Waiting.................................................32

Happiness In The Face Of Death.......................34

The Goodbye Ceremony.............................................35

Disengaging From Daily Life................................37

The Death .................................................................................40

Appendix: Facing Death......................................................43

About the Aukana Trust .....................................................52

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

JACQUI JAMES, spiritual teacher, died on the 24th

February 1989 whilst undergoing intensive chemo-

therapy for leukemia. She was cremated in Bath, Avon

at a ceremony presided over by her husband and fel-

low teacher, Alan.

Her meditation career started when she was 19,

shortly after which she met her teacher, Kapilavaddho,

who was then Abbot of Wat Dhammapadipa,

Hampstead, London. Jacqui was trained in both

vipassanà and and samatha meditation and later became

secretary to the monastery. She and Kapilavaddho,

whose health was failing and who had returned to lay

life, were married in 1970. When Kapilavaddho died in

1971, Jacqui, together with Alan James, the other fore-

most student of Kapilavaddho, took over the running

of Dhammapadipa. Jacqui and Alan were married

and continued to teach in London for two years, after

which they left for Thailand, where they completed

their meditation training.

Coming back to England in 1980, they founded

the House of Inner Tranquility, a meditation centre in

Bradford-on-Avon, Wiltshire. As the centre flourished

and interest in their teaching grew, they helped to

establish a new monastic order and founded two

monasteries, the Monastery of Absolute Harmony and

the Monastery of Infinite Compassion, for monks and

nuns respectively. Two books containing collections

of Jacqui and Alan’s teachings have been published: A

Meditation Retreat (1986) and Modern Buddhism (1987).

Jacqui was a rare teacher who combined an under-

standing of the supramundane and a high degree of

mundane wisdom. Her teaching was an expression of

compassion and something to which she gave her all.

To bring her students to understanding she would use

everything from the most gentle encouragement to the

most fiery directness, as the situation demanded. She

was totally committed to teaching just as, in earlier life,

she had been totally dedicated to treading the Path.

The world has lost a great teacher.

INTRODUCTION

Imagine a life partner, a family member or a close

friend of yours is dying. How might she or he be

feeling? Facing death, being in pain maybe. What are

her or his intimate needs and wishes? What happens

to us when staying with a dying person? How can we

deal with the sorrow, the confusing thoughts and the

trying situation? How should we communicate with

her or him and with the family members and friends?

When a beloved person is dying we are touched to our

deepest core. Difficult, painful emotions may rush up,

settling in our heart. Dying and death become a great

challenger, breaking into our lives – which we try so

hard to keep smooth and under control.

In this essay Jacqui James, an experienced medita-

tor and meditation teacher, recounts the time she spent

with her dying mother. It is enlightening to see how her

mindfulness and openness of heart guide her through

the process in herself, the process of her mother dying

and of the group around the deathbed.

Her family decides at one point to engage the help

of a hospice nurse. Hospice workers are people spe-

cially trained in accompanying and accommodating

the dying. They often have great sensitivity and prac-

tical skills in relating with and caring for terminally

ill people, a knowledge that has been lost in a world

alienated from the experience of death.

“Enough, ânanda. Do not grieve.

Do not weep. Have I not told you before,

ânanda, that all things that are dear

and delightful are of the nature to change,

to separate, to sever? So how could it be,

ânanda – since whatever is born, become,

compounded, and so is subject

to decay – how could it be that it

should not pass away?”

~ The Buddha, on the eve of His final passing away ~

PREFACE

Imagine a life partner, a family member or a close

friend of yours is dying.

How might she or he be feeling? Facing death, be-

ing in pain maybe. What are her or his intimate needs

and wishes?

What happens to us when staying with a dying per-

son? How can we deal with the sorrow, the confusing

thoughts and the trying situation? How should we com-

municate with her or him and with the family members

and friends?

When a beloved person is dying we are touched to

our deepest core. Difficult, painful emotions may rush

up, stirring in our hearts. Dying and death become a

great challenger, breaking into our lives – which we try

so hard to keep smooth and under control.

Death, arriving maybe after a long period of physi-

cal pain, is the hallmark of life in saÿsàra, the rounds of

rebirth and passing away. There are many ways to dis-

tract ourselves in our everyday life and forget about the

ever-present and basic unsatisfactory nature of things.

Yet when death enters our home, we are forced to turn

to our deepest concerns and feelings. Death can then

become our great teacher or messenger, shaking us up

from our complacency, just as it happened to Prince

Siddhattha in his encounter with a corpse during his

third visit to the town of Kapilavatthu.1

Màra 2, or master death, never stays far away from

us. If we have to encounter death suddenly, after having

been spared from its sight for a long time, it might ap-

pear to us as frightening, or even shocking. Then, gath-

ering our courage, we may dare to look into its face and

into the turmoil of our feelings.

Reading and pondering frequently the Buddhist

teaching of impermanence can prompt us to under-

stand dying and death and integrate its reality into

our lives. To start with reflections on death might be

very scary at first but such reflections have the power

to change our attitude toward life. One might find that

reminding oneself of one’s own mortality helps one to

do what is most essential in life. Keeping death in mind

also makes it easier to let go of one’s petty grudges to-

wards people with whom one has disagreements.

The cultivation of one’s mind through insight medi-

tation is a most excellent training to face the dying and

death of others, and ultimately of oneself. The practice

of insight meditation influences our inner abilities and

reactions on different levels.

Insight meditation is in the first place training in

emotional intelligence. We learn in particular how to

recognise, to probe into and handle difficult emotions

with mindfulness. We learn how to catch the very be-

ginning of an emotion and how to let it be in spite of

its unpleasantness. We find out how to discern “all that

mess that is happening in us” into the categories of

thoughts, imaginations, feelings and bodily sensations.

After some training, the accuracy of recognising which

particular emotion happens to visit our heart – may it

be sadness, unhappiness, dissatisfaction, loneliness, or

whatever – increases. Once emotions are recognised

correctly, our mind learns through training to observe

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eBUDDHANET'SBOOKLIBRARYE-mail:bdea@buddhanet.netWebsite:www.buddhanet.netBuddhaDharmaEducationAssociationInc.JacquiJamesTheManyFacesofDeathTheManyFacesofDeathiiiiiThePublisherwouldliketothankMrRobertMannandtheAukanaTrust,Englandforthekindpermissiontoreprintthisbookletforfreedistribution,Maythemerits...

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