
as he spoke: "Wot wot, stap me whiskers, if it ain't the bold Tammo. Now then,
laddie buck, what've y'got to say for y'self, eh? Speak up, sah!"
Lynum cuffed Tammo lightly to silence him. "Enough of that. Colonel'd have
your tail if he saw you makin' mock of him. Step lively now!"
The Long Patrol 5
Entering the largest of the conifer groves, they headed for a telltale spiral
of smoke that denoted Camp Tussock. It was a rambling stockade, the outer
walls fashioned from tree trunks with a big dwelling house built of rock,
timber, moss, and mud chinking. This was known as the Barracks. Motes,
squirrels, hedgehogs, and a few wood mice wandered in and out of the homely
place, living there by kind permission of the Colonel and his wife, Mem
Divinia. Some of them shook their heads and tuttutted at the sight of Tammo
being led in to answer for his latest escapade.
Seated close to the fire in his armchair, Colonel Cornspurrey De Fformelo
Tussock was a formidable sight. He was immaculately attired in a buff-colored
campaign jacket covered with rows of jangling medals, his heavy-jowled face
shadowed by the peak of a brown-bark forage helmet. The Colonel had one eye
permanently closed, while the other glared through a monocle of polished
crystal with a silken cord dangling from it. His wattled throat wobbled
pendulously as he jabbed his pace stick pointedly at the miscreant standing
before him.
"Wot wot, stap me whiskers, if it ain't the bold Tammo. Now then, laddie buck,
what've y'got to say for y'self, eh? Speak up, sah!"
Tammo remained silent, staring at the floor as if to find inspiration there.
Grunting laboriously, the Colonel leaned forward, lifting Tammo's chin with
the pace stick until they were eye to eye.
*' 'S matter, sah, frogs got y'tongue? C'mon now, speak y'piece, somethin'
about me battle-ax, wot wot?"
Tammo did what was expected of him and came smartly to attention. Chin up,
chest out, he gazed fixedly at a point above his father's head and barked out
in true military fashion: "Colonel, sah! 'Pologies about y'baltle-ax, only
used it to play with. Promise upon me honor, won't do it again. Sah!"
The old hare's great head quivered with furious disbelief, and the monocle
fell from his eye to dangle upon its string. He lifted the pace stick, and for
a moment it looked as though he were about to strike his son. When the colonel
could find it, his voice rose several octaves to shrill indignation.
"Playin1? You've got the brass nerve t'stand there an' tell me you've been
usin' my battle-ax as a toy\ Outrage, sir,
6Brian Jacques
outrage! Y're a pollywoggle and a ripscutt! Hah, that's it, a scruff-furred,
lollop-eared, blather-pawed, doodle-tailed, jumped-up-never-t'come-down
bogwhumper! What are yen?"
Tammo's mother, Mem Divinia, had been hovering in the background, tending a
batch of barleyscones on the griddle. Wiping floury paws upon an apron corner,
she bustled forward, placing herself firmly between husband and son.
"That's quite enough o' that, Corney Fformelo, I'll not have language like