Michael Coney - Tea And Hamsters

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2024-11-24 0 0 39.86KB 19 页 5.9玖币

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MICHAEL CONEY

TEA AND HAMSTERS

Mrs. Masterson's cat was subject to the occasional disappearance, but this

time

the old lady was pretty sure her new neighbor had eaten him.

She had mixed feelings on the matter. On the plus side, Tabitha was getting

old

and running up vet's bills. Like her husband Wally, Tabitha had outlived her

usefulness. There comes a time of life when a woman needs to be alone, free

from

the constant irritation of men and cats underfoot, demanding food. Nature

provides for that time, by ensuring that women live longer than men and cats.

Yes, it would be good to have the cottage to herself again.

But on the minus side, it was intolerable that anyone should play fast and

loose

with her devoted companion of sixteen years. It was proof that the misfit next

door could never become an acceptable member of human society. No matter what

that pathetic do-gooder Anna Tyler said.

Mrs. Masterson was in a foul temper that morning due to a visiphone call she'd

received during breakfast. Her husband Wally, far from dying, had had his

application for parole turned down. He'd sat there blubbering onscreen,

begging

her to make a personal appeal to the Governor. Well, she wasn't going to. The

law must take its course and Wally must pay the price for being caught out.

Wally was a weakling, always would be; and a diabetic to boot. A Space

Admiral's

daughter herself, she'd been deceived by his mustache, upright bearing and

barking speech into thinking he was a man worthy of her mettle. Only later had

she discovered that the mustache concealed a disfiguring birthmark, the

bearing

was due to a corrective tress, and as for the barking. . . . Well, sometimes

she'd suspected he was a reject from genetic engineering, particularly when he

responded to stress with a hangdog expression, a whimper and a shot of

insulin.

She shuffled to the window, pausing only to turn the framed photo of Wally

face

to the wall. It did little for her standing in Foss Creek, having a husband

jailed for embezzlement. Embezzlement! Of all the niggling, measly little

crimes, reminiscent of nineteenth-century clerks on high stools fiddling the

books with quills! Assault with a deadly weapon would have been better; at

least

it had some panache. And he'd had the nerve to say he did it for her, to buy

her

a place in the city.

Outside, rain dripped from bare branches. At the foot of the steep bank, the

tidal inlet rippled gray and uninviting the pleasure boats shrouded in wet

tarpaulins. February in loss Creek.

And that was another crime to lay at Wally's door. Why had he insisted they

retire to this little tourist village, this moldering relic of days gone by?

What was so good about rain and wind and dropouts making like old-time

farmers?

What was wrong with the clean domed cities of Earth that reminded her so much

her childhood at Sol Station 2?

Mrs. Masterson stared grimly at the cottage beyond the trees. Something was

moving there. She seized her binoculars.

It was that creature, walking stark naked in the rain!

This was too much. She snatched up the visiphone and called Anna Tyler.

"Stay right where you are," she snarled. "I'm coming over. This time your

scaly

friend has gone too far!"

"This used to be a nice village," snapped Mrs. Masterson, conveniently

forgetting her views on Foss Creek. "Friendly law-abiding folk, good community

spirit, and now what? Pets disappearing, rampant nudity in broad daylight and

God knows what going on under cover of darkness!"

Anna sighed. This dreadful old woman had been a problem ever since she'd moved

Loo into Foss Creek. God knows, she'd chosen this backwater because of the low

population density, but one Mrs. Masterson was worse than a city block full of

bigots.

"Let me deal with your points one by one," she said tiredly. "First, Tabitha

has

simply taken off for a few days like cats do. For all you know, she may be

back

home at this very moment. Second, there's a big difference between Loo nude

and

a human nude, as well you know. And third, under cover of darkness Loo simply

follows the dictates of his religion, just like some people go to church on

Sunday."

Logic was not the best way to appeal to the old lady, however. "Be that as it

may, I want that goddamned creature out of there!"

"That's very negative thinking. Do you mind i f I make a suggestion ? Why not

show a bit of good neighborliness? Give him a taste of the human way of life."

"Invite that alien in for a sherry, you mean? Good God, woman!"

"Loo is not an alien, Mrs. Masterson. The word alien has negative connotations

that give entirely the wrong impression of Dengal physical characteristics and

culture. Loo is an environmentally challenged person."

"Person? He's a goddamned reptile! How can you call a reptile a person?"

"All intelligent beings are persons, as you should know. You spent most of

your

years off Earth, I believe?"

"Certainly I did. And if there's one thing it taught me, it's that aliens are

slimy bastards. My father did not die for nothing, I assure you! And what's a

grown woman like you doing keeping hamsters, anyway? Reverting to childhood?"

Ignoring the hamster question, Anna pointed out, "Your father was killed by

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Michael Coney - Tea And Hamsters

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