
yelled before. To hear them cry the name of Voris reminds me of his loyal
wolves and the long nights ahead.
Lonal died in this morning's raid. No one seems to know how the Drol
who killed him got so close to the cannon, but by the time I saw him it was
hopeless. I had to take the cannon myself, so quickly I couldn't even help
him. He lived for a bit after he was struck, but his arm had been taken off
and the men who dragged him away had left it there, and didn't notice it
until the raid was over. Dinadin and I buried Lonal in the back trench, and
Lucyler said some words neither of us understood. Lonal liked Lucyler, and
I doubt a Triin prayer would have bothered him. But we are bothered that
our friend has been buried like a dead horse in the corner of this foreign
valley. When I return home I'll have to tell Lonal's parents how he died, but
I won't tell them how his body is moldering in a mass grave, and I won't tell
them that a Triin who was his friend said a prayer over him.
Any Triin prayer, Drol or not Drol, would be an insult to them. It is Triin
prayers that have caused all this. We are dying because of their prayers.
Dinadin is quiet now. I've never known him to be so damaged by the
death of a friend. Back home he was always the loud one, but things here
have made him thoughtful. After we buried Lonal, he told me that we
should leave the valley, leave these Triin to slaughter themselves. We've all
done things we're not proud of, things we won't tell our parents when we
return home. Maybe even things we'll have to answer for to our own God.
Tonight I'll let Dinadin mourn, but tomorrow I must have him back. He
must again be the one who makes our regiment want to fight. He must hate
the Drol again, hate Voris and his warriors.
Still, I can't help but wonder if Dinadin is right. I hear the men talking,
and I fear I am losing them all. Worse, there is nothing I can say to them.
Even I don't know why we're fighting. We're propping up an evil man, only
so another evil man can extend his overgrown empire. Father is right about
the emperor. He wants something here. But what he seeks is a mystery, and
while he waits comfortably in his palace, we die. None of the men believe
our cause is just, and even Lucyler has doubts about his Daegog. He knows
the royal line of Lucel-Lor is doomed, that the Drol and their revolution will
sweep away the old order eventually. Yet he and the other loyalists fight on
for their fat king, and we of Nar fight with them, just to make our own
despot richer. I hate the Drol, but they are right about one thing. The
emperor will suck the blood out of the Triin.
But, Journal, I should be quiet about such things. And tonight I need to
rest. This evening is peaceful. I can hear the sounds of the valley creatures
and the stray calls of my name in the woods, but they don't frighten me.
Only thoughts of the wolves that might come keep me from sleeping. Today's
dead are all buried, and I can smell the fatty grease of the roasting wild
birds we've caught. A pipe would be welcome now, or the wines of
Ackle-Nye. If my sleep is peaceful I may dream of them both.