
"Monk and Ham will think they’re shot," he said, chuckling.
He tossed both bulbs over the balcony railing.
Two loud reports came from below. Then there were three more reports, even louder.
Renny’s jaw fell. "How’d I get so much noise out of two bulbs?" he gasped.
In the lobby below, someone emptied five bullets out of a six-shooter. Judging from the noise, it was a
big six-shooter. A man howled in terror. Things upset violently. There were some back-alley words.
"Holy cow!" said Renny.
IT was some time before the sedate hotel lobby recovered from the effects of what happened during the
next few minutes. The room clerk at the desk never did fully recuperate. He was a sleek clerk, rather a
panty-waist, and inclined to be supercilious to such of the customers as he did not think were millionaires.
Really, the first thing he knew about the uproar was when a bullet parted his hair. It was sort of a
cross-part, beginning at the left and running back to the right, and it just mowed off the hair and creased
the scalp. Actually, that was all of the fray the clerk saw, because he sat down behind the big mahogany
desk and began to call loudly for the manager, the police and his mother.
Fortunately, the hotel lobby had been almost empty at the time. This was lucky, because the place was
rapidly filling with bullets, burned powder fumes, such pieces of furniture as could be thrown, and men
who were trying to go places in a hurry, or disappear under such items as seat cushions.
It was all very confused. None of the eyewitnesses could give a coherent story. The participants, of
course, had a vague idea of what was occurring.
Monk and Ham were two of the participants. Monk was behind a pillar that supported the balcony. The
pillar was thin, and Monk was short and wide and hairy, so that part of him stuck out on each side of the
column, even though he stood edgewise. Ham was in a large overstuffed divan. Ham was a slender man,
dressed like a fashion advertisement, and he carried a black cane. The divan was amply large for him.
Unfortunately, though, it was not bulletproof.
Monk and Ham’s two pets were in the fray. That is, in it as much as their masters. Monk’s pet was a
long-legged, wing-eared runt pig, Habeas Corpus by name. Habeas had lined out across the lobby,
squeaking at every jump. Ham’s pet was an animal that was not exactly a monkey, or yet a chimpanzee,
nor yet a scrub ape—science disagreed as to just what he was. His name was Chemistry. He resembled
Monk somewhat, or would have, if he’d been wearing a baggy brown suit that needed pressing. If
Chemistry had been clad, however, it was doubtful if he could have made the mighty leap that had put
him on a chandelier, where he was now.
As nearly as Monk and Ham could figure, what had happened was this:
First, they had been conducting their usual quarrel. There had been two loud reports behind them.
Three perfect strangers had thereupon jumped up out of chairs in the hotel lobby and started shooting.
These three strange gentlemen completed the list of participants. They were average-looking fellows,
nothing outstanding about them, or there hadn’t been until they went into action. Now their hands were
full of spouting steel, and to judge from their behavior, their minds were full of two ideas—first, to make
corpses out of Monk and Ham; second, to get out of there in a hurry.