
an admission of kinship.
This isn't to say they made him unhappy—or that he lacked charity; he was just
hollow, nothing had ever filled him up.
Since his demob from the Fleet, a year after all the hysteria of the Canes
Venatici incident had come to nothing but the same kind of worn diplomacy that
had begun it, he had worked all over the sky, traveling a slow Archimedean
spiral in three dimensions, tracking in from Venatici through the Crow and the
Heavy Stars. He had driven half-tracks on Gloam and Parrot, built roads on
Jacqueline Kennedy Terminal; he had sung revolutionary songs and pushed
meta-ampheta-mines to the all-night workers on Morpheus—not because he was in
any way committed to the insurrection that finally blew the planet apart, but
because he was stuck there and broke. After five years, he had ended up on
Earth, where everybody ends, guarding heavy plant machinery for the Israeli
World Government.
There he was paid handsomely for every Arab he shot, but not enough—not enough
for dirty work. He had found himself wetting his trousers every time
The Centaur; Device 3
somebody fired a gun (in fact, that had worn off after a time, but he still
told it that way, against himself with a lot of gestures and funny
voices—especially to port ladies), and tapping a streak of savagery he hadn't
suspected in himself. He found no sense of purpose in that stupid half-war,
either. Finally, it was too terrifying to find himself going through the
psychological maneuvers necessary to continue without the accompanying
commitment. He .left it alone, but in his customary indecisive manner. He
drifted away.
Had he not saved his bounty money and bought with it My Ella Speed (then
called Liberal Power, something which caused him to scratch his head), his
seven-year trip from demob day to Sad al Bari IV might easily have ended at
the periphery of the port— accomplished by means of his horny thumb, a cheap
musical instrument, and his hat in the gutter the wrong way up to receive
bread. Instead of on his head where it belonged.
Even the purchase of the boat had, at the time, assumed the air of a fortunate
accident. Unused to ethanol—still the sole legal euphoric of Earth—he had
stumbled, smashed out of his head and laughing, into a breaker's yard
somewhere in the temperate zones; then passed out cold when he realized what
he'd spent his money on. John Truck was a loser, and losers, despite the
evidence to the contrary, survive on luck. Not that he'd considered it luck
then, lying on his back with the rusty, twisted towers of wrecks spinning
through his brain (and thinking, Oh God, what am I going to do with it?).
It was his personal disaster that he never learned to resist the flow of
events; he never learned to ~make steerage way.
Proton Alley is as cold as all the other streets; any warmth you think you
might have found there always turns out to be an illusory side-product of the
color of the vapor signs. All its denizens have digested their experience of
life so well that nothing of it remains to
4- The Centaur/ Device
them. They start fresh and naive every day, but still regard you with empty
eyes. No warmth; but John Truck basked in its familiarity, which is perhaps an
acceptable substitute on any evening dedicated to a saint Outside the Spacer's
Rave, an ancient fourth-generation Denebian with skin blackened and seamed,
and eyelids perpetually lowered against the actinic glare of a star he hadn't
seen for twenty years, was reciting lines from the second canto of The Fight
At Finnsburg. His hat was at his feet. His boots were cracked, but his voice
was passable, booming out over the heads of passing whores and stoned Fleet
men:
The Marty Lingham discovered a bleak orbit; hooked by a fuchsia dwarf,
perihelion at the customary handful of millions: cometary, cemetery.
He showed his nasty old teeth to Captain Truck, recognizing another loser,
however well disguised. He screwed up his dreadful face, winked.
"An intellectual, am I right, bosun—?" he began his spiel, stepping craftily