It was, if memory serves, the third story I ever tried to write for money. I’d sent my first one to the most popular
magazine in the field, Analog—talk about irrational optimism—and miraculously, it sold. But the second, set in the
same tavern, had not sold there . . . or anywhere else. Then from somewhere came “By Any Other Name,” and I just
knew this one was going to sell. Perhaps it’s weird to call it an optimistic story, since it posits the total collapse of
technological civilization—but it also suggests that humanity will ultimately survive just about any collapse. In any
event, it was a much more complex and ambitious story than anything I’d ever tried before, and I certainly sent it off
with high hopes.
It was bounced by every market in science fiction.
More than a dozen rejections, beginning with Analog and ending underneath the bottom of the barrel. The last
editor on the list lost the damn thing for several months . . . then rejected it . . . then lost it again. (I was so green, the
only other copy in existence was the handwritten first draft.)
By the time I finally got it back, I had written several other stories, and not one of them had sold, either. I suspect
the only reason I even took the manuscript out of the envelope was so it would burn better in the fireplace. But my
own opening sentence caught me. I ended up reading the damn thing all the way through one more time—
—and by God, I still liked it. All thirteen of those editors, I decided on the spot, were wrong.
So I rejected the rejections. I mailed the story, unchanged, to Ben Bova at Analog a second time. It was a perfect
act of irrational optimism, of benign delusion.
You guessed it: he bought it this time.
But it wasn’t just a sale. “By Any Other Name” was my first Analog cover story. (Jack Gaughan’s splendid
painting for that cover hangs in my home today; God rest his generous soul.) It won my first AnLab, the monthly
Analog reader’s poll. A year later it won me my first Hugo Award from readers worldwide. It was a career-maker. It
became the nucleus of my first novel, Telempath. Most important of all, it was one of a pair of stories which
persuaded a young woman named Jeanne, in spite of her better judgment, to let me court her . . .
So maybe that’s one reason why I’m optimistic by policy. It seems to be working for me.
(Epilogue I can’t resist: over a decade later, I got up the nerve to ask Ben if he realized he’d rejected a Hugo-
winning story the first time he saw it. Oh sure, he said, I had to—no choice. How come? I asked.
(He gave me a pitying look. “Spider, that was an election year—remember? And then you expect me to buy a
story where the alien villains are basically giant killer farts, named ‘Musky’?” He shook his head emphatically.
“Nixon that.”)
In that spirit of reckless optimism, I’ve adulterated this collection of short fiction with a pinch of non-fiction.
One evening in 1996 Jeanne and I were strolling through town with our friend Shannon Rupp, then the dance
critic for Vancouver’s alternative weekly The Georgia Straight, and as is my custom, I was shooting my mouth off.
An airliner had just fallen into the sea, and all the media believed it had either been terrorist sabotage, or just possibly
a covered-up accidental missile launch from a U.S. Navy destroyer. I was pontificating on why both theories had to
be hogwash . . . and Shannon interrupted. “Write that all down,” she said. And do what with it, I asked. “Send it to
The Globe and Mail,” she said. “I’ll bet they buy it.”
Well, that was just silly. The Globe and Mail was Canada’s national newspaper, its journal of record, the Grey
Lady of the North. What would they want with the unsolicited opinions of an American-born science fiction writer
who lived about as far from Toronto as a Canadian resident can get, and whose most recent journalistic credentials—
lame ones—were almost thirty years old?
But Shannon finally bullied me into trying it. And Warren Clements bought the piece, and asked for more, and
that’s how I became an Op-Ed columnist—like nearly everything else I’ve accomplished in my life so far: by
accident.
I’ve provided herein some samples of the column that ran in The Globe and Mail every three weeks from 1996–
99 under the running title, “The Crazy Years.” If you don’t care for fact—or at least, for opinions about facts—with
your fiction, by all means skip over them. If they do catch your interest, as of this writing I’m still producing a
column a month for The Globe and Mail, and two columns a month for David Gerrold and Ben Bova’s new cybersite
Galaxy Online (www.galaxyonline.com).
And now on to the fiction. After all this talk of optimism, naturally the first story in line, which won the 1983
Hugo for Short Story, is one of the gloomier prognostications I’ve ever made. Oh well. The year “Melancholy