Of course, there'd always be need of doctors. There'd always be damn fools smashing up their
cars and shooting one another and getting fishhooks in their hands and falling out of trees. And
there'd always be the babies.
He rocked gently to and fro and thought of all the babies and how some of them had grown until
they were men and women now and had babies of their own. And he thought of Martha Anderson,
Janet's closest friend, and he thought of old Con Gilbert, as ornery an old shikepoke as ever
walked the earth, and tight with money, too. He chuckled a bit wryly, thinking of all the money
Con Gilbert finally owed him, never having paid a bill in his entire life.
But that was the way it went. There were some who paid and others who made no pretense of
paying, and that was why he and Janet lived in this old house and he drove a five-year car and
Janet had worn the selfsame dress to church the blessed winter long.
Although it made no difference, really, once one considered it. For the important pay was not
in cash.
There were those who paid and those who didn't pay. And there were those who lived and the
other ones who died, no matter what you did. There was hope for some and the ones who had no hope -
and some of these you told and there were others that you didn't.
But it was different now.
And it all had started right here in this little town of Millville - not much more than a year
ago.
Sitting in the dark, with the lilac scent and the white blush of the bridal wreath and the
muted sounds of children clasping to themselves the last minutes of their play, he remembered it.
It was almost 8:30 and he could hear Martha Anderson in the outer office talking to Miss Lane
and she, he knew, had been the last of them.
He took off his white jacket, folding it absent-mindedly, fogged with weariness, and laid it
across the examination table.
Janet would be waiting supper, but she'd never say a word, for she never had. All these many
years she had never said a word of reproach to him, although there had been at times a sense of
disapproval at his easy-going ways, at his keeping on with patients who didn't even thank him,
much less pay their bills. And a sense of disapproval, too, at the hours he kept, at his
willingness to go out of nights when he could just as well have let a call go till his regular
morning rounds.
She would be waiting supper and she would know that Martha had been in to see him and she'd
ask him how she was, and what was he to tell her?
He heard Martha going out and the sharp click of Miss Lane's heels across the outer office. He
moved slowly to the basin and turned on the tap, picking up the soap.
He heard the door creak open and did not turn his head. 'Doctor,' said Miss Lane, 'Martha
thinks she's fine. She says you're helping her. Do you think...'
'What would you do,' he asked.
'I don't know,' she said.
Would you operate, knowing it was hopeless? Would you send her to a specialist, knowing that
he couldn't help her, knowing she can't pay him and that she'll worry about not paying? Would you
tell her that she has, perhaps, six months to live and take from her the little happiness and hope
she still has left to her?'
'I am sorry, doctor.'
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