Essential Skills

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March 1999

ESSENTIAL

SKILLS

SEMINAR

Presented by

Kim McFarland & Tom Vizzini

Table Of Contents

TONALITY.....................................................................................................................................................1

Posture.......................................................................................................................................................1

Posture Stretches ......................................................................................................................................1

Breathing....................................................................................................................................................2

Emotion......................................................................................................................................................2

Inflection.....................................................................................................................................................4

Embedded Commands..............................................................................................................................4

Ambiguity ...................................................................................................................................................5

Pausing ......................................................................................................................................................5

Punctuation Ambiguity ...............................................................................................................................5

Ambiguities.................................................................................................................................................6

CALIBRATION...............................................................................................................................................8

TRANCE......................................................................................................................................................11

Pattern Interrupt.......................................................................................................................................11

Unconscious awareness ..........................................................................................................................11

Nonverbal trance......................................................................................................................................12

VISUALIZATION..........................................................................................................................................13

ANCHORING...............................................................................................................................................15

RAPPORT ...................................................................................................................................................17

Whole Body Matching..............................................................................................................................17

Cross Matching ........................................................................................................................................19

Movements ..............................................................................................................................................19

Part Matching...........................................................................................................................................19

Breathing..................................................................................................................................................20

Vocal Pacing ............................................................................................................................................20

Qualities ...................................................................................................................................................20

Trance Phrases........................................................................................................................................21

Conversational Modalities........................................................................................................................21

GOAL GETTING..........................................................................................................................................24

TONALITY

Your tonality is very important, because you are using your voice to persuade others. If your

voice isn't pleasant to listen to, who is going to sit and listen to it long enough for you to get what

you want. Also, you need to be able to effectively control your voice in order to use techniques

such as embedded commands and voice pacing.

Posture

Posture is important because if the body is not properly aligned the voice can't come out with the

power, the resonance, and the projection that it naturally has.

Exercise 1 - Imagine there is a string that runs through the top of the head and down through the

neck, and down through the spine. Then imagine that someone pulls up slightly on the string,

straightening the neck and the spine to the point where even if there were no muscles holding

them in place the bones would stay sitting one on top of the other, and at the same time you feel

your shoulders slide back into place. Now, imagine moving through the world this way ... when

you sit at your computer ... drive in your car ... watch TV.

Exercise 2 - In order for some people to keep their shoulders back in place they need to stretch

out the chest and strengthen the back (especially the rhomboids, between the shoulder blades, and

the rear deltoids, which are the backs of the shoulders). This is true especially for people who sit

at computers all day long.

Posture Stretches

Number 1

This stretch should be felt just above the collarbone in that little triangle.

1. Stand with your lower back straight. Have your legs shoulder width apart, and your knees

slightly bent.

2. Reach behind the back with your right arm and grab the left arm (which is down by the side)

at or just above the elbow.

3. Rotate the left arm back in the socket gently, making sure you're turning the arm at the

shoulder joint and not the elbow.

4. Turn your head to the right looking over the shoulder, and then tilt the chin down toward the

shoulder.

5. Hold this position for 60 seconds.

6. Repeat on other side.

Alternate Step 3 - If you can't reach your arm that way, just gently rotate the shoulder back in the

socket without holding the arm. You'll know if you're doing the stretch right by where you feel it.

Number 2

1. Move your shoulders up toward your ear.

2. Roll them back, squeezing your shoulder blades together.

3. Let your shoulders drop, letting them stay back naturally.

Number 3

You'll feel this stretch in the chest, just below the collarbone, from the breastbone all the way to

the shoulder.

1. Place the palm of your hand again the wall, with your arm straight, and your hand about three

inches above the shoulder.

2. Lean into the stretch, so your body is as perpendicular to the wall as possible while remaining

comfortable.

3. Hold stretch for 60 seconds.

4. Repeat on other side.

You can also do neck and shoulder rolls to loosen up these areas and help them realign after the

stretches.

Breathing

It's important to breathe in deeply in order to project your voice and to have power and

resonance. You won't be taking in more air, but you will be breathing into the lower portion of

the lungs instead of into the upper portion of the chest.

Exercise 1 - Put your hand on your upper chest. Breathe so that this part of the chest moves out

when you breathe in. As you breathe out, let out an "Aaahhh" with the breath. Now put your hand

in the middle of your chest and breath into this area, and as you release your breath say

"Aaahhh." Now put your hand on your solar plexus and do the same thing. Lastly put your hand

on your stomach and as you say "Aaahhh" as you let the breathe out notice how much stronger

your voice is when you speak from here, and notice how much more resonant your voice is.

If this isn't easy for you try holding your hands above your head while you do this. As a last resort

you can lie on the floor and practice there so you know how it feels, before you practice standing

up.

While you do this remember to keep your shoulders slid back and your back straight.

Emotion

When you speak it's important that you can hear your feelings in the words that you say,

otherwise you don't sound sincere. In addition to the excitement in your voice when you talk

about roller coasters and the wonder in your voice when you talk about peak experiences, you

need to make some other words sound like what the mean. For example if you were saying the

word "short" you would make the word sound just slightly abrupt, or if you're saying the word

"humongous" you would drag out the syllables a little and maybe even raise your voice slightly.

Exercise 1 - Here is a list of emotions that you can practice saying with the feeling of the

emotion in your voice when you say it. To help you out a little, you might want to imagine a time

when you experienced this emotion, and see what you saw, feel what you felt, and hear what you

heard. Also make sure when you imagine this event that you're looking through your own eyes

and not watching yourself. Lastly think of a sound that might represent that emotion for you.

Curiosity Lust Sincerity

Love Amazement Excitement

Exhilaration Happiness Calm

Playful

Here's a list of words that would sound like what they mean.

Huge Gorgeous Beautiful

Anticipation Powerful Tiny

Bright Smooth Rich

Exercise 2 - You also need to practice using these words in sentences, especially since many of

them might be in one sentence together.

Have you ever had a peak experience, maybe you saw an amazingly, beautiful sunset.

I was snorkeling in Hawaii and I saw the biggest sea turtle ever, and I was so excited that I could

hardly breathe.

Have you ever met someone and you were really curious, and the more curious you became the

more playful you became in your thoughts.

Notice that the words might not actually match the way you say them. For example in the last

sentence the word thoughts could be said in a seductive way.

Exercise 3 - Go and eavesdrop on people's conversations, or talk to one of your more boring

friends or coworkers. Ignore the words that they are saying and just listen for what state they are

in while they are talking. Notice when the states shift and the fine nuances between one state and

another. Understand, the other half to using tonality to put forth your own ideas and persuade

others is being aware of other people's so you can know where they're at and what effect you're

having on them regardless of the words that come out of their mouths.

When you're up for a challenge, ask someone to talk about one thing while they think about

another, and figure out what state they're really in. For example, the last time you were talking

about business, while you were thinking about going out water skiing next weekend.

Inflection

Your inflection is important, because according to how you use it you can seem powerful, or not.

You see there are three ways of speaking: commands, questions, and statements.

Statements just have a flat inflection at the end, questions go up at the end, and commands go

down. This is important because if you say something like "Let's go out" as a question instead of

a command you give the other person a chance to say no. Also, a question isn't always a question.

If you use the grammatical structure of a question but go down with the inflection at the end of

the sentence then you actually make it a command.

Exercise 1- Say these sentences using a downward inflection at the end.

Let's go out.

Come with me. I love you.

Do you want to go out for coffee with me? (taking the inflection down on with me)

Do you understand?

Inflection is also very important for being able to embed commands. You can embed a command

using any note, but for the sake of simplicity here we're going to talk about embedding

commands by dropping your tone slightly on the command. The difference not only doesn't have

to be extreme, but it should be slight so it is only perceptible to the trained ear. Imagine a musical

scale; the note you use for the embedded command would be a note or even only a half note

lower on the scale than the other notes you're using when you speak.

Embedded Commands

Embedded commands are used to say something to the unconscious while you might be saying

something completely different to the conscious mind. You can do this by saying all of the words

in the embedded commands in one particular note, at a particular volume, etc. The key is to have

the note or volume that you embed the commands at distinct from the rest of what you say. For

example, if you use the note A sharp to embed the commands, you can't use that pitch elsewhere

in your conversation. Personally I find it easiest to drop my pitch slightly on the embedded

commands.

Also, when you're embedding a phrase such as, "Buy me presents," the words don't have to be

together in the sentence. They don't even have to be in the same sentence. They can be spread out

through a paragraph.

I saw a gorgeous Ferrari go buy. To me it seems that some cars have presents of their own.

Also remember that you should embed commands at least three times each. They don't have to be

in the exact words but they should be similar: It's easier for the unconscious to take the command

at this point than it is to fight it.

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March1999ESSENTIALSKILLSSEMINARPresentedbyKimMcFarland&TomVizziniTableOfContentsTONALITY.....................................................................................................................................................1Posture..........................................................

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