Avram Davidson - Knox's 'Nga

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KNOX'S 'NGA

Avram Davidson

Belle Abernathy was not Grandmother Welles's favorite grandchild, in fact, GW

had said semi-publicly more than once that Belle looked "like a plucked chicken,"

and that, although perhaps Belle could not help being skinny, she needn't show it off

like that. These criticisms were heard no more after the skinny chickenny Belle had

whispered in Grand's ear the Dreadful News; another grandchild, Lou Anne, who

had married Robert Owens in A Lovely Church Wedding following upon a mere

Civil Ceremony of vague circumstance, and was now expecting a child? Well, Belle

hated to have to say it, but the birth was a mere five months after the church

wedding, and as for the civil wedding, there had been no civil wedding.

"They were just shacked up, that's all," Belle said brutally.

Well, figure it out. Although in her very heart of hearts Grand would have been

able to forgive, had they come to her and confessed—had they? No. Tried to pull

the wool over her eyes. Country going to damnation. Her own grandchild. Hippies.

Probably smoked hish-hash, or whatever it was called.

So, to the Quarterly Dinner at the old Welles house, who were not invited?

Well, well: what to do. Bob Owens didn't care. Lou didn't care much. Lou's

mother cared. Lots.

"Only one thing to do," Lou said. "Baby must be named 'Philander Knox'."

"'Must'?" asked Bob. "Is 'Must' a word to be used to fathers?" Just the sort of

thing he would have said. Dry sense of humor. Quiet man, and, well, small. To tell

the truth. Shacking up hadn't really been his idea. Like more than a mere few men of

nowadays he had come home one day to find that the lady who held the extra key

had moved in, and that they were now, well, no, not shacking up, did one shack

down? But certainly, a fact: living together. "Why, 'Philander Knox'?"

The women exchanged looks. "An ancestor," they said.

"Well, yes, understandable. But surely there are others. Why not, ah, Welles'?

Welles Owens, sounds classy. No like? Too many sibilants?" They shook their

heads. "Oh, Zz not a sibilant? Oh—"

His wife now pronounced his name in a manner which gave it a sound of having

several syllables and a warning to shut his mouth.

"Welles, well, Welles is my mother-in-law's married name. Just as it's mine. But

Philander Knox was a cabinet member, oh, TR and Taft—"

"Ancestors?"

Getting near the knuckle, Owens. Want a knuckle sandwich, Owens? Want to be

accused of implicit misogyny, Owens? Whose enormous phallus rapted and rupted

this virginal little girl, three inches your taller and three years your elder? Owens. Shut

the funk up and lissen.

Philander Knox had held cabinet positions. He was a distant cousin of

Grandmother Welles's grandmother. True, there had been a Welles who'd been in

Lincoln's cabinet but those were different Welleses. Spelled the same? Philander

Chase Knox, Secretary of the Whatever It Was. Nobody anymore knew who he

was. But Grand thought they did! And if The Baby were to be named Philander

Knox Owens, people were bound to ask How, Come? Enter Ye Dowager Mrs.

Welles, with a muscle in her bustle, and Able to Explain.

Well, there are those who say that God is a Woman and this might explain why

the baby was a boy, was named Philander Knox, did reduce Old

Great-Grand-mother to a puddle of pink flesh and Instant Reconciliation.

Belle Abernathy shrank even further into her plucked chickenanity and was never

heard from, almost, again.

The baby was called The Baby as long as was reasonable, and then a bit more.

The Baby began to walk, lurch, stagger, teeter, totter, "Come to Great-Grandmother,

Knox. Come to Grand," said Guess Who: "Knox."

"Knox" came. Totter, teeter, stagger, lurch, walk. Collapse. "There, see he knows

who he is and he knows who I am," said the Dragon Lady.

The three Owenses are at home. "Knox," said Bob.

His firstborn shows no sign.

"I know," says Lou.

"We could call him 'Philander'."

"No, we could-n't!"

Bob bares all, did his wife think there was no gamey secret she did not know?

Hah! "I had a great-aunt named Rectalyna," says he. Lou screams.

No he did-n't! Oh yeah, yes he did. She was long ago and far back on the

Coonass and Peckerwood sides of the family, gummed snuff and thought shit was a

household word. Her most famous, well, only well-known, wehhell only known

utterance, was, "The government is going to punish this nation because poor Mr.

Bryan is dead," came to the attention of H.L Mencken, who said Hot diggetty! and

made a note and on finding out the woman's name said, "Hot diggetty, poor old

Jehovah, woo-hoo, Rectalina with a long i? Oh with a y. Godfrey Daniel!" and it

appeared in some preliminary work on The American Language but got cut out of

the regular editions. "So my sweet, compared to Rectalyna, I guess we can live with

Knox, hey we could call him 'Phil'!"

It was all in vain. No, they couldn't. He simply was too young and a baby to be a

Phil.

They took to calling him My Son. Where's My Son. Come here My Son.

Grand of course, well, what do you think. Grand liked a ride in the country but

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摘要：

KNOX'S'NGAAvramDavidsonBelleAbernathywasnotGrandmotherWelles'sfavoritegrandchild,infact,GWhadsaidsemi-publiclymorethanoncethatBellelooked"likeapluckedchicken,"andthat,althoughperhapsBellecouldnothelpbeingskinny,sheneedn'tshowitofflikethat.ThesecriticismswereheardnomoreaftertheskinnychickennyBellehad...

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Avram Davidson - Knox's 'Nga

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