
yogurt, sniffed the joint of his index finger, and asked in a tearful voice:
"Well, what else is there in the forest? Trees." He wiped his eyes with
his sleeve. "But they don't stand still: jump. Got it?"
"Well?" asked Pepper eagerly, "what was that-- jump?"
"Like this. It stands still. A tree, right? Then it starts hunching and
bending, then whoosh! There's a noise, crashing, I don't know what all. Ten
yards. Smashed my cab. There it is standing again." "Why?" asked Pepper.
" 'Cos it's called a jumping tree," explained Acey pouring himself more
yogurt.
"Yesterday, a consignment of new electric saws arrived," announced
Hausbotcher, licking his lips. "Phenomenal productivity. I would go so far
as to say that they weren't electrosaws but saw-combines. Our saw-combines
of eradication."
All around they were drinking yogurt out of cut glasses, tin mugs,
little coffee cups, paper cones, straight out of the bottle. Everybody's
legs were stuck , under their chairs. And everyone probably could show his
certificate of liver, stomach, small intestine trouble. For this year and
for the last several.
"Then the manager calls me in," Acey went on, raising his voice, "and
he asks why my cab's stove in. 'Again,' he says, 'sod, giving people lifts?'
Now you, Mr. Pepper, play chess with him, you might put in a little word for
me. He respects you, he often talks of you, 'Pepper,' he says, 'he's a
character! I won't give a vehicle for Pepper and don't ask. We can't let a
man like that go. Understand, all you zombies, we couldn't carry on without
him!' Put in a word, eh?"
"All right," Pepper brought out in a low voice, "I'll try."
"I can speak with the manager," said Hausbotcher. "We served together.
I was a captain and he was my lieutenant. He greets me to this day, bringing
his hand to his headgear."
"Then there's the mermaids," said Acey, weighing his glass of yogurt.
"In big clear lakes. They lie there, get it? Nothing on."
"Your yogurt's putting ideas into your head," said Hausbotcher.
"I haven't seen them myself," rejoined Acey. "But the water from those
lakes isn't fit to drink."
"You haven't seen them because they don't exist," said Hausbotcher.
"Mermaids, that's mysticism."
"You're another mysticism," said Acey, wiping his eye with a sleeve.
"Wait a bit," said Pepper, "wait a bit. Acey, you say they're lying ...
is that all? They can't just lie and that's all."
"Maybe they live underwater and float up onto the surface, just like we
go out onto the balcony to escape from smoke-filled rooms on moonlit nights
and, eyes closed, bare our face to the chill, then they can just lie. Just
lie and that's all. Rest. And talk lazily and smile at each other. . . ."
"Don't argue with me," said Acey, looking obstinately at Hausbotcher.
"Have you ever been in the forest? Never been in there once, have you, to
hell."
"Silly if I did," said Hausbotcher. "What would I be doing there in
your forest? I've got a permit into your forest. And you, Acey, haven't got
one at all. Show me, if you please, your permit, Acey."
"I didn't see the mermaids myself," repeated Acey, turning to Pepper,
"but I entirely believe in them. Because the boys have told me. So did
Kandid even, and he was the one who knew everything about the forest. He
used to go into that forest like a man to his woman, put his finger on
anything. He perished there in his forest."
"If he did," said Hausbotcher significantly.
"What do you mean 'if'? Man flies off in his helicopter, three years no
sight or sound. His obituary was in the paper, we held the wake, what more
d'you want? Kandid crashed, that's for sure."
"We don't know enough," said Hausbotcher, "to assert anything with
complete certainty."