white. He had had nothing to compare it to; such a concept could exist only in
theory in the world he had left.
Bit by bit, he became aware of subtle differences, of tangibles in the
void. As with the void itself, he had no frame of reference -- awareness that
there were other things, perhaps (or maybe "others") all around him. But it
was as if, having been struck totally blind, deaf, and dumb, vision was
returning.
Yet he could "see" only in this new, undefinable way which, lacking
words or frame of reference, he could only experience, not comprehend. What
the shit is this? he thought angrily.
He remembered. He remembered the mission, the mutiny. He remembered that
he had been murdered, not shot by an enemy.
Murdered? No, that couldn't be right. He was still-- Well, he was,
still.
The horrible thought struck him that he was in a hospital somewhere,
deaf, dumb, blind, insensitive to the world -- a living vegetable imprisoned
in the wrecked shell of his body. It terrified him. He tried to shake, to
move, to reach out, to prove it wasn't so.
Nothing happened. He had nothing to reach out with, or to.
He tried merely to lower his chin to his chest, to make certain that it
was there -- and was terribly afraid that it was.
It wasn't. He had no head to move, no chest to touch.
Absorbed in these thoughts, he failed to notice that more and more
"somethings" were filling in the void. And something else.
Now he noticed it.
Voices -- No, not quite. Thoughts -- like random thoughts collecting in
his brain. Other people's thoughts.
Gradually it was becoming apparent to him that he was not alone at all -
- that at least some of these other presences, perhaps a large number of them,
were in fact other people. Some made no sense at all, but others radiated
identifiable symbol connections. Many, most in fact, seemed to radiate the
same panic that he bad undergone only moments -- hours? -- before. A few were
calm, resigned, or even expectant. Many were hope lessly insane.
Babblebabblebabblebabblebabblebabblebabblebabblebabblebabble . . .
It rushed in at him like a living force, exploding inside his mind. He
fought furiously for control, taken off guard by the sudden attack, but the
sea of thoughts came on, like giant waves, each greater than the one before.
He tried to concentrate, tried to chive them off, stem the tide. No matter
what happened, he had to lock them out, keep them away!
I am Paul Carleton Savage, Second Lieutenant, U.S. Army, serial number
214-44-1430AR. I am Paul Carleton Savage, Second Lieutenant, U.S. Army, serial
number--
BabblebabblebabblebabblebabblebabblebabbleBABBLEBABBLEBABBLE
I am Paul Carleton Savage, Second Lieutenant, U.S. Army, serial--
BABBLEBABBLEBABBLEBABBLEBABBLEBABBLEBABBLEBABBLEBABBLEBABBLEBABBLE
A face formed dimly in his mind, laughing at him, mocking him. It said,
"BABBLEBABBLEBABBLEBABBLEBABBLEBABBLEBABBLEBABBLEBABBLEBABBLEBABBLE. . ."
It poured out with terrible force in a thousand tongues, ten thousand --
all different, all speaking at once of different things, running the entire
emotional range. It was a deadly face.
"BABBLEBABBLEBABBLEBABBLEBABBLEBABBLEBABBLEBABBLEBABBLE . . ."
It was McNally's face.
Laughing, mocking, spewing out madness, it floated, weaved, and taunted
him. An overpowering, unreasoning hatred welled up within him. Not this time!
he tried to scream at it. Not again! You will not destroy me again! Not again!
You hear? You understand? You Will Not Destroy Me! You hear me, you bastard?
BASTARD! Hear me? YOU. WILL. NOT. DESTROY. MY. MIND!