Tony Chandler - ThunderStar

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2024-11-23 0 0 41.12KB 21 页 5.9玖币

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ThunderStar

by Tony Chandler

I have created a monster.

The crimson glistened in dripping gobs on the walls. And then, in crimson clarity, there was

the distinct imprint of its huge hand etched in gory detail. Down the center of the darkened

hall a trail of half-gnawed food and other ominously scattered debris showed its path.

And there were the screams coming from the room beyond.

I closed my eyes as I prepared to face it.

The Earthophile.

The screams grew louder as I approached the half-opened door, and hesitated. But there

was no getting around this grim confrontation. It was time I set the record straight, and saved

the dignity of all humanity.

"Dtang!"

I cringed as my eyes took in the sight.

Spread in all directions around his ebony form was such a profusion of broken potato chips,

popcorn, pretzels and other remnants from his all-night session... well, the crumbs alone

could have fed a small third-world colony.

The Hollith sat with his two legs splayed across my best chair. One hand held a can of beer,

a second was cupping a pile of spaghetti dripping with sauce, a third had fingers covered

with brown and poised over a gallon jar of choicest peanut butter, and in his fourth hand "my"

holographic video remote.

I knew three things right away.

One, Dtang was going to have to learn to eat with a fork and spoon. Two, I was going to

have to buy my own jar of peanut butter... and hide it. Three...there was going to be war.

And then there was his HoloVid obsession!

"What are you watching now?!? Your tiny Hollith brain must have turned to mush hours ago

watching all those ancient holo-reruns!!"

Dtang's red eyes glared at me.

"Dtang like Earth shows. Learn about life."

I shook my head.

"And what, pray tell, can a Hollith learn about life from reruns?"

"Dtang now know what pursuit of entire human race is. Dtang knows what is highest goal of

humans. Dtang see it in human art, read it in words of poetry, sense it in religious

experiences, understand it cause of many, many wars. See it all on HoloVid." His words

paused. "Dtang know it is that which human race seek for all time."

I took a step back as I felt my heart pounding in my chest and my breath grow short. Had

Dtang, through his newfound obsession of humanity, actually found the ultimate truth? To the

ultimate question? Was it "really" out there???

"What...is the answer?!?" I stammered.

"Naked women."

I suddenly felt the room begin to spin. And then it hit me; the utter beauty of it, the sheer

simplicity of it.... wait a minute!!!

Dtang emitted a healthy belch as I returned to my senses.

"You've watched way too many reruns, my ebony friend. And probably too much beer and

peanut butter too."

Dtang smiled as he sucked at his vegetable water and then ate a handful of peanut butter.

His mouth chewed enthusiastically.

"Even if our culture is full of naked women, humanity does have 'other' noble goals, you

know," I ranted. "I mean, look at...." I cringed again as I realized what Dtang was watching on

the Holo-screen.

Of all the great sports to originate from Earth: baseball, football, golf, bowling, soccer (OK,

football again), THIS was the sport Dtang was enamored with!

I pointed an enraged finger at the screaming pandemonium on the screen. Huge men with

gargantuan muscles danced around each other with eyes aglow.

"Wrestling is NOT a sport, Dtang."

Dtang growled.

"It's all fake. Period. I mean, any sentient alien with HALF a brain can see that!"

Dtang emptied all his hands and stood.

"See that guy there," I pointed that angry finger again.

"Him Dtang's favorite. Three-Eyed Assassin best wrestler. Him dangerous, like Dtang." He

grunted.

I looked closer. And I realized how dangerous a thing genetic-engineering had become.

"OK, OK. But look at that fake punch, he didn't really hurt that other steroid-pumped bozo.

Can't you see that? He just went with it. Now see that, yeah, he didn't really hit him in the

stomach. The other guy just danced around it. Wrestling's more like... bad acting."

"Dtang like wrestling. Dtang like... A LOT!"

There's no reasoning with fanaticism. Blind faith is such a pitiful thing, especially in a Hollith

warrior. But I had to try, for the human race.

"Now baseball, there's a sport of skill, of strategy. Of dignity! If you want to become

obsessed, like a good human, become obsessed about something worth becoming

obsessed about."

He suddenly placed one of his hands on my shoulder. And squeezed.

"Dtang want to be human."

"Don't be an imbecile, Dtang. Look at yourself, you've got too many bodily appendages to

be a human." My brain reeled.. "I think???"

Holliths seem to get bigger when they get mad.

"Dtang best man humanity ever had. And... Dtang going to be All-Pro Wrestler!"

I started laughing. "Well," I panted, "You're a pretty bad actor. That's definitely a..."

Things happen quickly with an angry Hollith.

As my body left the floor with a sickening jerk, I suddenly contemplated changing my opinion

of wrestling. Maybe it wasn't... the universe was suddenly spinning near the speed of light.

And then I was on my back, with an incredibly loud and hollow thud.

My mind raced, trying to outrun the pain signals from every inch of my shattered body.

Body slams certainly look fake, but I guess when an enraged Hollith twirls you around a few

times before he slams, and the floor is battle-hardened trialthium steel, well.... it hurts.

** *

As I lay there, numb and unable to move for about an hour, I began to gain a new

appreciation for wrestling.

Dtang finally left after the final bout on the Holo, and the feeling had just about come back

into my body when it happened.

"Do you always keep this ship in such a mess?"

It was my ex-wife, Natalie. She had been with me so long now, it was almost like we had

never gotten divorced. What a feeling.

"It's a good thing we dropped 'my' daughter off at Carna II. What kind of a role model are

you?"

"A crippled one?" I said as I tried to stand.

"What am I, your mother? Hobble over to the medi-scan and get yourself patched up." She

said.

I love compassion in a woman.

But I did it. After all, I wanted to walk upright again.

She was standing at the bridge looking at a star chart when I found her. The lights from the

control panel gleamed off of her blonde hair and twinkled in her eyes. But I know better.

"Figured our position?" I asked.

"Yes, I've been monitoring our little journey. Kind of surprised where you're taking us,

though."

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