And in reply to what these scholars assert, discretion says nothing. For this fragment was, of course, unknown
when the High History was first put into English, and there in consequence appears, here, little to be won
either by endorsing or denying its claims to authenticity. Rather, does discretion prompt the appending,
without any gloss or scholia, of this fragment, which deals with
The Judging of Jurgen.
Now a court was held by the Philistines to decide whether or no King Jurgen should be relegated to limbo.
And when the judges were prepared for judging, there came into the court a great tumblebug, rolling in front
of him his loved and properly housed young ones. With the creature came pages, in black and white, bearing
a sword, a staff and a lance.
This insect looked at Jurgen, and its pincers rose erect in horror. The bug cried to the three judges, "Now, by
St. Anthony! this Jurgen must forthwith be relegated to limbo, for he is offensive and lewd and lascivious and
indecent."
"And how can that be?" says Jurgen.
"You are offensive," the bug replied, "because this page has a sword which I choose to say is not a sword.
You are lewd because that page has a lance which I prefer to think is not a lance. You are lascivious because
yonder page has a staff which I elect to declare is not a staff. And finally, you are indecent for reasons of
which a description would be objectionable to me, and which therefore I must decline to reveal to anybody."
"Well, that sounds logical," says Jurgen, "but still, at the same time, it would be no worse for an admixture of
common−sense. For you gentlemen can see for yourselves, by considering these pages fairly and as a whole,
that these pages bear a sword and a lance and a staff, and nothing else whatever; and you will deduce, I hope,
that all the lewdness is in the insectival mind of him who itches to be calling these things by other names."
The judges said nothing as yet. But they that guarded Jurgen, and all the other Philistines, stood to this side
and to that side with their eyes shut tight, and all these said: "We decline to look at the pages fairly and as a
whole, because to look might seem to imply a doubt of what the tumblebug has decreed. Besides, as long as
the tumblebug has reasons which he declines to reveal, his reasons stay unanswerable, and you are plainly a
prurient rascal who are making trouble for yourself."
"To the contrary," says Jurgen, "I am a poet, and I make literature."
"But in Philistia to make literature and to make trouble for yourself are synonyms," the tumblebug explained.
"I know, for already we of Philistia have been pestered by three of these makers of literature. Yes, there was
Edgar, whom I starved and hunted until I was tired of it: then I chased him up a back alley one night, and
knocked out those annoying brains of his. And there was Walt, whom I chivvied and battered from place to
place, and made a paralytic of him: and him, too, I labelled offensive and lewd and lascivious and indecent.
Then later there was Mark, whom I frightened into disguising himself in a clown's suit, so that nobody might
suspect him to be a maker of literature: indeed, I frightened him so that he hid away the greater part of what
he had made until after he was dead, and I could not get at him. That was a disgusting trick to play on me, I
consider. Still, these are the only three detected makers of literature that have ever infested Philistia, thanks
be to goodness and my vigilance, but for both of which we might have been no more free from makers of
literature than are the other countries."
"Now, but these three," cried Jurgen, "are the glory of Philistia: and of all that Philistia has produced, it is
these three alone, whom living ye made least of, that to−day are honored wherever art is honored, and where
nobody bothers one way or the other about Philistia."
Jurgen: A Comedy of Justice
Jurgen: A Comedy of Justice 4