
Sam held his sword in front of him with two hands. "I don't think our new friend really
plays fair. Do some magic, Joe. Say something. Get us out of here!"
I tried to think if I knew any gladiator knockout spells. I remembered reading some kind
of gladi-ator spell in The Book. But as usual, that was our problem. We had to find The Book.
"Excuse me, Mr. Gladiator," I said. I didn't know exactly how you should talk to an ancient
Roman gladiator. But I figured it wouldn't hurt to be polite. "My friends and I dropped in by
acci-dent. And we'll be on our way just as soon as we find our Book."
The gladiator twirled his net. "I don't think we're getting through," said Sam. "There's three
of us and only one of him," said Fred, suddenly braver now that I was the one in front of the
guy's trident.
I had to think of something, quick-before the guy poked all three of us like overdone
turkeys. Gladiators. Romans. The ancient Romans spoke Latin. I remembered that the
gladiator spell had something to do with Latin.
The gladiator circled around us, moving in for the kill.
"Ix-nay on the ork-fay," I chanted.
The gladiator jabbed at us. We all jumped back.
"What the heck was that?" yelled Sam. "You're only making him mad."
"That's Latin," I said. "Or at least the only Latin I know. Pig Latin."
The gladiator twirled his net overhead and dropped it on us before we even knew what had
hit us. He yanked a line. We fell in a heap on the sand.
"Ahhhh!" screamed Sam thrashing around with his sword, clonking Fred and me on the
head.
"Op-stay! Eeze-fray!" I tried.
The gladiator stood over us and raised his tri-dent overhead.
"Oh-gay away-ay?" No good.
The Time Warp Trio was about to be stuck through with one cruel blow. And no
magic trick- Pig Latin or otherwise-could save us now.
II
But before we get poked full of holes and lose our first (and maybe last) match of Time
Warp Trio vs. the Gladiator, I should probably explain how we got into such a fix ... again.
I know it sounds funny, but it's all because of a book. The Book. A dark blue book with
strange silver writing and symbols. My uncle Joe, who is a bit of a magician, gave it to me
for my birthday. But he forgot to mention that this book can send its readers anywhere in
time and space.
He also forgot to mention that after you go to these strange times and places, the only
way to get back home is to find The Book.
You readers out there who have followed us be-fore know we found all of this out the
hard way.
We found you can be walked off the plank by pirates. We found you can be attacked by
freaky monsters from Greek mythology. We found you can be chased by your own
great-grandkids. We found you can even be terrorized by characters from other books (like
Frankenstein and Little House on the Prairie, to name just two very scary books). The
one thing we've never really found out is how the heck to con-trol The Book. I had
sworn to Fred and Sam that I would figure out how The Book works.
But I never really got a chance to. We were over at my house after school, as usual. Fred
was jumping around all hyper after school, as usual. So Sam and I decided to take him down.
"Freak Fred takes on all challengers for the World Monsterweight Title!" hooted