get this kind of very basic problem sorted out, then there really would be trouble.
He spent a few moments with the manuals, ignoring the catcalls and jeers that the recalcitrant pieces of
equipment were trading. Then abruptly Kit realized, listening, that the DVD did have a slightly different
accent than the remote and the TV. Now, I wonder, he thought, and went carefully through the DVD’s
manual to see whether the manufacturer actually had made all the main parts itself.
The manual said nothing about this, being written in a broken English that assumed the system was,
indeed, being assembled by the proverbial six-year-old. Resigned, Kit picked up the remote again, which
immediately began shouting abuse at him. At first he was relieved that this was inaudible to everybody
else, but the DVD chose that moment to take control of the entertainment system’s speakers and start
shouting back.
“Oooh, what a nasty mouth,” said his sister Carmela as she walked through the living room, wearing her
usual uniform of floppy jeans and huge floppy T-shirt, and holding a wireless phone in her hand. She
had been studying Japanese for some months, mostly via watching anime, and had now graduated to an
actual language course—though what she chiefly seemed interested in were what their father wryly
called “the scurrilities.” “Bakka aho kikai, bakka-bakka!”
Kit was inclined to agree. He spent an annoying couple of moments searching for the volume control on
the DVD—the remote was too busy doing its own shouting to be of any use. Finally he got the DVD to
shut up, then once again punched a series of characters into the remote to get a look at the details on the
DVD’s core processor.
“Aha,” Kit said to himself. The processor wasn’t made by the company that owned the brand. He had a
look at the same information for the remote. It also used the same processor, but it had been resold to the
brand-name company by still another company.
“Now look at that!” Kit said. “You have the same processors. You aren’t really from different
companies at all. You’re long-lost brothers. Isn’t that nice? And look at you, fighting over nothing!
She’s right, you are idiots. Now I want you guys to handshake and make up.”
There was first a shocked silence, then some muttering and grumbling about unbearable insults and who
owed whom an apology. “You both do,” Kit said. “You were very disrespectful to each other. Now get
on with it, and then settle down to work. You’ll have a great time. The new cable package has all these
great channels.”
Reluctantly, they did it. About ten minutes later the DVD began sorting through and classifying the
channels it found on the TV. “Thank you, guys,” Kit said, taking a few moments to tidy up the
paperwork scattered all over the floor, while thinking longingly of the oncoming generation of wireless
electronics that would all communicate seamlessly and effortlessly with one another. “See, that wasn’t
so bad. But someday all this will be so much simpler,” Kit said, patting the top of the DVD player.
file:///C|/Documents%20and%20Settings/harry%20kruis...0Young%20Wizards%2006%20-%20A%20Wizard%20Alone.html (9 of 198)22-2-2006 1:57:10