Douglas Adams - Young Zaphod Plays It Safe

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Young Zaphod Plays It Safe

Douglas Adams

Young Zaphod Plays It Safe

A Short Story By Douglas Adams

A large flying craft moved swiftly across the surface of an

astoundingly beautiful sea. From mid-morning onwards it plied back and

forth in great widening arcs, and at last attracted the attention of the

local islanders, a peaceful, sea-food loving people who gathered on the

beach and squinted up into the blinding sun, trying to see what was

there.

Any sophisticated knowledgeable person, who had knocked about, seen a

few things, would probably have remarked on how much the craft looked

like a filing cabinet - a large and recently burgled filing cabinet

lying on its back with its drawers in the air and flying.

The islanders, whose experience was of a different kind, were instead

struck by how little it looked like a lobster.

They chattered excitedly about its total lack of claws, its stiff

unbendy back, and the fact that it seemed to experience the greatest

difficulty staying on the ground. This last feature seemed particularly

funny to them. They jumped up and down on the spot a lot to demonstrate

to the stupid thing that they themselves found staying on the ground the

easiest thing in the world.

But soon this entertainment began to pall for them. After all, since

it was perfectly clear to them that the thing was not a lobster, and

since their world was blessed with an abundance of things that were

lobsters (a good half a dozen of which were now marching succulently up

the beach towards them) they saw no reason to waste any more time on the

thing but decided instead to adjourn immediately for a late lobster

lunch.

At that exact moment the craft stopped suddenly in mid-air then

upended itself and plunged headlong into the ocean with a great crash of

spray which sent them shouting into the trees.

When they re-emerged, nervously, a few minutes later, all they were

able to see was a smoothly scarred circle of water and a few gulping

bubbles.

That's odd, they said to each other between mouthfuls of the best

lobster to be had anywhere in the Western Galaxy, that's the second time

that's happened in a year.

The craft which wasn't a lobster dived direct to a depth of two

hundred feet, and hung there in the heavy blueness, while vast masses of

water swayed about it. High above, where the water was magically clear,

a brilliant formation of fish flashed away. Below, where the light had

difficulty reaching the colour of the water sank to a dark and savage

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