Asprin, Robert - Myth 11 - Myth-ion Improbable

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Myth-ion Improbable
by Robert Lynn Asprin
Author's Note
If this book is your first exposure to the Myth-Adventures of Aahz and Skeeve,
there is no reason for you to read this note. Proceed directly to the main body
of the work and enjoy.
If, however, you have been following this series for some time, some
explanations are in order. Specifically, as to why you are now holding this
volume instead of the long-awaited, long-promised episode titled Something
M.Y.T.H. Inc.
As was noted in Author's Note of the previous volume, Sweet Myth-tery of Life
(which was also late in being written), I have been going through some difficult
times in my life. Since that volume was released in 1994, most of those
difficulties revolved around a five-to-six-year death duel with the IRS over
back taxes. The less said about that, the better.
When that matter was resolved in April of 2000, I re-applied myself to writing
the two overdue MYTH novels, only to find myself in a dilemma. The first problem
was that it had been over seven years since I had written Aahz and Skeeve, and
it was extremely difficult after that long a hiatus to recapture the style and
rhythm of the narration and dialogue that had made the series unique. To
complicate things, the story I was attempting to convey, Something M.Y.T.H.
Inc., was the most complex tale I had attempted in the MYTH series, as it not
only involves multiple viewpoints, but also occurs simultaneously with events
contained in Sweet Myth-tery of Life.
After nearly half a year of wrestling with these difficulties, a friend of mine
made a suggestion. Specifically, why not write another, simpler story first...
something from Skeeve's earlier
days with Aahz. That would enable me to relearn the MYTH writing style, after
which I could tackle the more convoluted story of Something M.Y.T.H. Inc.
The result is the volume you are currently holding. Sequentially, it occurs
between volumes three-Myth-Direction-and four-Hit or Myth. (They will be
republished in the combined omnibus Myth Adventures Two in February 2002 from
Meisha Merlin Publishing, Inc.) If the plan holds, Something M.Y.T.H. Inc. will
follow it VERY shortly.
As always, thank you for your loyalty and patience.
Robert Lynn Asprin February 2001
Chapter One
"Here we go again!"
C-3PO
When my teacher/mentor Aahz grumbles or rants about my being stupid or having
done something stupid, I make a big show of being apologetic, but it really
doesn't bother me all that much. I figure it goes with the territory and is part
of the price of learning magik.
I mean, first of all, there's the point that Aahz is older than I am and has
been around more. A lot more. He's an experienced dimension traveler, or 'demon'
for short, and compared to his knowledge and experience I really am stupid and
naive.
Then, too, the dimension he hails from, Perv, is noted for its short-tempered,
hostile inhabitants. Other dimension travelers tend to avoid Perv whenever
possible, and give the green, scaly Pervects a wide berth when encountering them
in other dimensions.
To cap it all off, while he was once an accomplished magician himself, Aahz lost
his powers when we met (See Another Fine Myth). Watching me fumble and stutter
while learning what are, to him, some of the simplest, most rudimentary spells,
all the while being aware that, at least for the time being, he's dependent on
me in the magik department, is bound to make him a bit testy from time to time.
I can understand and accept it when I do something he thinks is stupid. When I
do something that, in hindsight, I think is stupid.. .that's another matter
entirely.
We were ensconced in the Royal Palace of the Kingdom of Possiltum, enjoying my
cushy position as the Royal Court Magician, a job that Aahz had coached me
through the auditions for. That is, Aahz was enjoying it. For him it was
comfortable surroundings and a steady, generous salary. For me, it was living in
constant close contact with a grouchy demon who seemed determined that I
practice my magik lessons night and day.
Needless to say, this gets boring after a while. The few adventures I had been
on since I had apprenticed myself to Aahz had whetted my appetite for travel,
and I was eager for more. Unfortunately, Aahz steadfastly refused to even start
teaching me how to dimension-travel on my own, saying it was far too dangerous
for someone with my meager magikal abilities.
That's when I decided to try something really stupid. I decided to try to outwit
Aahz and trick him into taking me dimension traveling again.
An item had come to hand that I thought might be just the ticket, so one
afternoon when he seemed a bit bored himself, I sprang it on him.
"Aahz," I said, holding out a folded piece of parchment to him, "I think you
should take a look at this."
Aahz glared at the paper in my hand as if it might bite him. And when someone
from Perv glares, it is really something to see.
"And just what is that?" "It looks like a map." I shrugged. Actually, I knew it
was a map. While Tanda and I had been jumping dimensions, shopping for a
birthday present for Aahz, I had been offered this map by a beggar on a street
corner. Since Tanda had been, at that moment, off talking to some sort of
businessmen of that dimension, I had bought the map for a few coins, thinking it
would be a fun small gift. I had stuck the map in my belt pouch, and then
proceeded to forget about it because of all the problems with the Big Game three
dimensions later. Actually, forgetting about the map was entirely
understandable, since Tanda ended up captured and our main focus was on freeing
her. And the only way we could free her was by winning the game. So forgetting
the map was reasonable. I had had enough on my mind.
But today, while searching through my pouch for something else, I found the map.
While I honestly didn't know what it was, I thought it might be what I needed to
bait Aahz into taking me dimension traveling again.
Aahz still wasn't about to touch the parchment. He motioned to the fire.
"Throw it in there and then get back to your practice."
"I'm done with my practice," I said.
"You're never done with your practice."
I ignored him and pushed on.
"Besides, I paid good coins for this map."
That was my trump card. If there's anything Aahz hates, it's wasting money. He
got angry with me every time my dragon, Gleep, tore up something while playing,
and the cost of repairs were taken from my wages. When it came to my money, Aahz
was in complete control. And by the way he talked, we were always broke and
about to go hungry.
"A scam, I'm sure," Aahz said, turning away. "Just like you to waste money."
I frowned. This was going to be harder than I thought. Normally, if there was
any chance of making money at anything, he jumped at it.
Then it dawned on me I hadn't told him what the map led to.
"Aahz," I said to his back.
He didn't move. Instead he just kept staring out the window at the courtyard.
"Aahz, you might really want to look at this. It's a map to a creature called a
cow."
"So?" Aahz said, shaking his head. "Remember the last time we were at the Bazaar
at Deva? Where do you think that steak you ate came from?"
I stared at him. I had no idea steaks came from creatures called cows. I had
just assumed they came from creatures called steaks. Trout came from trout,
salmon came from salmon, and duck came from duck. It was logical. Besides, there
were no cows in this dimension. At least, none that I had ever met.
"Well," I said, glancing at the parchment in my hand, "this is a map to a golden
cow that lives in a golden palace and gives gold-laced milk."
Aahz slowly turned to stare at me, his eyes slit as if he were trying to figure
out if I was actually joking or not Then, in two steps, he was in front of me,
snatching the map from my grasp.
"So there really is such a golden beast?" I asked while he studied the paper.
He didn't respond, so I stood and watched him stare at the map. The writing on
it was odd, actually. It didn't show roads, but more like dimensions, energy
points, and vortexes. Most of it I didn't understand, and almost none of the map
had any names on it, but there was a massive amount about jumping from dimension
to dimension that I didn't understand.
Aahz had told me once there were so many dimensions, no one knew the total
number, and it was easy to get lost and never make it back when jumping from
dimension to dimension. After my shopping trip with Tanda to thirty or forty
different dimensions, I was starting to believe him.
Finally he looked down at me, a frown on his ugly face. And when Aahz frowned,
which was a great deal of the time, he looked like an animal snarling. His
green skin and bright eyes and sharp teeth could be very intimidating if a
person wasn't used to it. Luckily, I was.
"So where exactly did you get this?" He fluttered the parchment in my face as he
asked the question.
"Bought it from a man on a street corner," I said. "I think it might have been
some beggar." "What dimension?"
"Not a clue." I shrugged. "One of the many Tanda and I visited. You could ask
her."
Aahz frowned even more at that.
"What made you buy it?"
Again I shrugged.
"I honestly don't know. I thought you'd have fun with it for your birthday, and
the guy said I was the first traveler he'd seen in a long time who might be able
to use it and live to tell the tale."
"Could he see through your disguises?" Aahz asked, staring at me.
I tried to remember back to the day. I had used my standard disguise spell, and
on that dimension, the spell had not been hard. Most of the residents stood four
feet tall, and had two feet. Compared to disguising Tanda and me as slugs on one
of the previous dimensions, that had been easy. But the beggar had clearly
picked me out of a crowd, and he seemed out of place among the short people,
being almost five feet tall.
I looked at Aahz and nodded.
"Maybe. But I don't know how he could have."
Aahz waved his hand in disgust.
"Apprentice, there are a thousand ways, especially with someone so unpracticed
as you."
I said nothing. No point in even trying to defend my talents. Aahz always won
those conversations by making me try something I couldn't yet do. And that was
just about everything when it came to magik. But making disguises is my best
ability.
Aahz spun around and moved back to the window, keeping the map with him. He
stood there, staring out over the courtyard, letting the silence in the room
just build and build. And if there was one thing I hated more than anything, it
was the sound of someone thinking, without telling me what they were thinking
about.
"So, is there such a golden cow?" I asked, moving over and standing beside him
in the big window so he couldn't ignore me.
In the courtyard below the window, Gleep was running in circles chasing his
tail. Thank heavens he wasn't near anything, because when a dragon started
chasing his tail, things got knocked down, trampled, and just flat destroyed.
Especially when it was young dragon.
What was even more amazing was that Aahz didn't seem to be noticing what Gleep
was doing. Clearly the map meant something to him.
"The golden cow?" I asked again, "Is it real?"
Aahz slowly turned and looked at me.
"A myth. There are a lot of them in the different dimensions."
"You're kidding! You mean there is more than one golden-milk-giving-cow myth?"
Considering that I had never heard of a cow before today, I found that a little
hard to imagine. I'm not sure exactly why I thought even one golden cow was easy
to imagine, but dozens of them were just too much. Maybe there was an entire
dimension with a race of them.
Aahz sighed. When he sighed like that, it usually meant I was being extra stupid
or dense.
"Every tenth dimension has a myth about an animal or person doing something with
gold. One has a goose laying golden eggs, another has a fish touching things and
turning them to gold, another has a duck with golden feathers."
"One heavy bird," I said, trying to imagine the duck covered in gold.
Aahz sighed again.
"The feathers become gold when they fall off."
"Got you," I said. "You ever been near or seen one of these golden animals?"
Aahz laughed, his demon-sound shaking the room.
"If I had, would I be here, in this dump of a palace, with an apprentice as
stupid as you?"
I had to admit he had a good point, but I didn't really want to agree with him.
"So that is a sham map," I said.
"Most likely," Aahz said, staring out at the courtyard where Gleep had now
managed to catch his tail. He bit it so hard, the poor dragon jumped and looked
around, startled. Gleep was smart in many ways, but not about his own tail.
I glanced over at Aahz. When he said 'most likely,' and didn't look at me, it
meant he thought there might be a slight chance the map was real.
"Why only most likely?" I asked.
"Because," Aahz said, "I saw a golden deer-dropping once."
"Deer dropping?" Again I had no idea what he meant.
"Deer poop," Aahz said, his voice showing he was getting very tired of my stupid
questions. "Deer turds. Deer crap. Deer excrement. One dimension has a myth
about a deer that drops gold. I saw one of the droppings. And..."
He stopped, still not looking at me. In all the time we had been together, I had
never seen him like this before.
"And what?" I asked.
"And I saw part of a solid-gold elk antler at the Bazaar at Deva."
I was stunned. A deer that pooped gold and an elk that had golden antlers.
"So the map might actually be real?"
"I doubt it," Aahz said, glancing at it.
"But you don't know for sure, do you?"
He shook his head.
"Not for sure."
"So we're going to check it out?"
He looked down at the map in his hand, then folded it and stuffed it in his
pocket.
"I'll be back in an hour."
He pulled out the D-Hopper and twisted it to a setting. Back before he met me
and lost his powers, he used to be able to jump through the dimensions without
the use of a D-Hopper. Now he needed the help and he hated it.
"Wait!" I shouted. "You can't go looking for it without me."
"I'm not," Aahz said. "And get that dragon of yours under control before he
breaks something again and we have to pay for it. Be ready to go. One hour.
And the dragon doesn't come with us."
With that Aahz was gone, vanished off to another dimension with a faint BAMF.
By the time Aahz got back I had Gleep in his stall in the stables and had
arranged for someone to feed and walk him until I returned from wherever we were
going.
I was standing near the foot of the bed in my room when suddenly the air next to
me sort of went BAMF again. Not
real loud, but startling when it happened two feet from you. I jumped. Aahz was
back, and he had my favorite demon in the entire universe of demons with him.
"Tananda!" I shouted, stepping toward the beautiful creature with the long green
hair and a body that, with a deep breath, could stop a parade.
"Skeeve!" she shouted back, laughing.
Then she pulled me into a hug that I hoped would never, ever stop. Now, granted,
it had only been a month since I had last seen her, drunk as a skunk at Aahz's
birthday party. But every time I saw her I figured it was a great excuse for a
very long hug. And she sure didn't seem to mind, either.
Tanda was a former assassin and member of the guild. I wasn't sure what she did
now besides shop and go on adventures. What's more, I didn't really want to
know. We were friends, and that was enough for me.
Aahz cleared his throat after far too short a time in her wonderful hug. He did
seem to mind that she didn't mind. Oh, well. I still believed she liked me
better than him, and that was all that mattered.
She pushed me back and looked at me sternly, her wonderful eyes glaring at me
with mock anger.
"Why didn't you tell me you had bought a treasure map?"
"Actually, I was going to when we stopped for the night," I said with a shrug,
"but then the game and you getting captured and everything sort of pushed the
map out of my mind."
"So do you remember how many dimensions before Jahk you bought it?" she asked.
I knew exactly how many, since I had done the disguises in every dimension on
the trip. "Three," I said.
"You're absolutely sure?" Aahz asked, his golden eyes staring at me like they
were about to shoot daggers.
I held up my hand.
"Jahk, the dimension with the Big Game."
I pointed at my thumb.
Tanda nodded and Aahz just glared, his expression of annoyance making me take my
time.
"Counting backwards," I said, pointing at my index finger, "the dimension before
that was where we had to look like a form of a three-nosed pig."
I wiggled my index finger at both of them. Tanda nodded. "Yeah, fun place."
"Not really," I said. Aahz's glare got deeper, so I went on. "Before that was
the dimension where we had to be eight feet tall and have three legs." I pointed
at my middle finger. Tanda laughed. "That was a fun dimension, too. Wasn't it?"
It hadn't been, since walking on three legs is something that is a factor harder
than trying to fly by flapping your arms and jumping off a cliff. But I ignored
her this time and went on.
I pointed to my next finger.
"Dimension where we had to be four feet tall and where I bought the map." I held
up the three fingers. 'That many in front of the game dimension."
I wanted to add that I could go over them again if Aahz wanted, but he was
clearly not happy with me, so I didn't offer.
Tanda smiled. "I thought so. Mini." "So what's so special about that dimension?"
I asked. It hadn't seemed like much to me, although Tanda had not wanted to stay
there long on our shopping trip.
"Actually," Aahz said, "it makes this map more likely to be real."
"Almost certain." Tanda laughed.
"You're kidding?" I asked. "You really think there is a golden cow out there?"
"I didn't say that," Aahz said. "I just said the map was likely to be real."
I frowned and Tanda laughed.
"Mini is populated by Minikins, who have this awful power of never telling a lie
about anything. They do not do well at the Bazaar at Deva, for obvious reasons."
"But what happens if the guy who sold it to me wasn't a Minikin?"
"If he had been there for more than a day, he had to tell the truth about the
map as well. That's why we got out of there so fast. Truth is not a good
influence when you are shopping."
At that I had no firsthand knowledge, but I figured Tanda was the expert.
"Come on," she said to Aahz. "Dig out the map. We're wasting time. Let's do
this."
"Why do I have a bad feeling about this?" Aahz asked as he pulled out the
parchment, unfolded it, and put it on the bed so all three of us could look at
it.
I had no idea what I was looking at, but Tanda seemed to. She pointed at the
upper left corner.
"That's Minikins' Dimension."
Even I knew that, since it was labeled Mini.
"So we start there?"
Aahz nodded. So did Tanda, for which I was grateful. If they both agreed, at
least we had something solid.
Tanda ran her finger along the only line leading from Minikin. It ended at a dot
that was labeled Vortex #1. She studied that for a moment, then glanced at Aahz.
"You have any idea what that means? Or where it's at?"
"Not a clue," he said.
Now I was stunned. It wasn't often that my mentor admitted he didn't know
something. In fact, I couldn't remember the last time that it had happened, if
ever. I wanted to point that out to him, but this just didn't seem to be the
right time, so I went back to studying the map.
I could see that on the map Vortex #1 had six lines leading off to six unlabeled
points on the paper. And lines led off of each of those points to other vortex
dots. There were seven more vortexes listed, and a big "X" marking the cow in
the lower right corner of the map. Only one line led from Vortex #8 to the cow.
It was clear that there was no straight line from Mini to the cow. And no right
path. From the looks of it, we could go any of a dozen different ways, through
different points labeled vortexes, taking different lines. If nothing else, this
was going to be an interesting puzzle.
Aahz had told me that dimension-hopping was dangerous because a person could hop
to an unknown dimension and never get back. I wondered now how safe it was going
to be following a map through some of these dimensions, especially when even the
map was confusing.
"Well," Tanda said, turning to Aahz. "It looks like we're going to need some
more help if we're going to find this golden beast."
Aahz looked at her and then slowly shook his head. "You can't be thinking what I
think you're thinking." "I'm thinking it," she said.
"No!" Aahz said, his voice firm. I knew for a fact that when he said no like
that there was no changing his mind.
"Yes," Tanda said, smiling at him with a smile that could melt a belt-buckle
right off a guy's pants. She reached up and touched one of the green scales on
his cheek.
"No," Aahz said, but this time it wasn't as firm. Not even a Pervect could stand
up against Tanda's charms.
"Yes," she said, turning the smile up one more notch and stroking Aahz's green
neck just below his ear.
I was glad she wasn't doing that to me. As it was, just watching I was almost a
puddle on the floor. And I didn't even know what they were arguing about.
Aahz wasn't faring much better. He shook his head, then said, "It's a mistake."
"How else are we going to find what dimension to jump to from Minikin?"
She stroked his cheek and then moved right up against him.
No sentient male being could have withstood that attack. Aahz didn't.
I was sweating hard just watching. Much more and I would need to change into one
of my clean shirts.
"All right," he said, his voice so soft I could almost not hear it. "But trust
me, this is a mistake."
"Oh, we're not showing anyone the map," Tanda said, moving away from Aahz and
turning down her convincing body language and smile to a normal level.
Both Aahz and I took a deep breath.
"Then why?" Aahz asked.
"We're just going to find out what, or where a vortex is," Tanda said.
I couldn't stand it any longer.
"Would someone please tell me what this is all about?"
"No," Aahz said.
He picked up the map, then took me by the arm and stepped over beside Tanda. A
moment later we were in the Bazaar at Deva.
Chapter Two
"How bazaar!"
RIPLEY
The Bazaar at Deva was like no other place in the universe, or at least that's
what Aahz kept telling me. And from my few times in the Bazaar, and what little
of the different dimensions I had seen, I was beginning to agree with him.
The Deevels, the residents of Deva, were known as the best traders and
negotiators. Now, granted, Aahz, as a Pervect, could be tight with a penny, but
as Aahz had warned, a Deevel could trade you out of the penny and the pocket you
kept it in, and leave you naked and thinking you were better off for the deal.
The Bazaar was the logical extension of that ability. They had set up the
trading capital of all the dimensions, a bazaar that now stretched seemingly
forever. Demons, which was a catchphrase for Dimension Travelers, were allowed
to set up booths and try to make a living doing whatever it was they did best.
I don't think anyone really knew how far the Bazaar extended, since the tents
and booths seemed to always be changing and moving. When I asked how long Aahz
thought it would take me to walk across the Bazaar, he said if I was lucky, only
five or six months, but he doubted I would make it alive.
It seems that the Bazaar at Deva was also a very dangerous place, which was why
I was doing my best to keep up with Tananda and Aahz as they headed through the
crowds. I had no idea why this area was so jammed with Demons. It smelled like
someone was boiling old shoes, and most of the demons in this area were covered
in white and red scales that flaked at
the slightest touch. And in my hurry I was bumping into a lot of them. By the
time we came to a stop in front of a blank-looking tent with the flap closed, I
was sweating like it was a hot summer day, and scales were stuck all over me.
"Might want to brush those off," Aahz said, glancing at me and shaking his
head.
Neither he or Tanda seemed to have any on them at all. I had no idea how they
had managed that and still moved so fast.
"Why?" I asked, half-heartedly pushing the white and red scales off my sleeve.
"They're acid," Tanda said, reaching over and flicking a scale off my forehead
with a polished nail.
I picked up the speed of my brushing, working at getting every one of the
hundreds of scales stuck to me.
Tanda and Aahz just laughed.
"Little help with the back?" I asked, shaking my entire body as hard as I could.
Tanda laughed even harder as I turned around and her hands worked over my
shoulders, down my back, and across my rear. Any other circumstances I would
have enjoyed the feel, but standing in the middle of a crowd with acid scales
all over me sort of deflated any thoughts of enjoyment.
Aahz just stood and shook his head, staring at the tent, until I was finished
and Tanda had inspected my hair and neck and other areas for a stray scale. I
didn't know that we had both missed one in my left shoe until I looked down and
saw that my shoe was smoking. It was one of my best pairs, too.
As I kicked off the shoe and emptied the acid scale onto the ground, Aahz looked
at me and bared his teeth in a grin.
"Just count your blessings it didn't go down your pants."
I looked at the hole the scale had burnt into my shoe and shuddered.
"Want me to check you to make sure?" Tanda asked, smiling.
"Thanks," I said, putting my shoe back on. "Maybe later."
"I still don't like this idea," Aahz said, turning to stare at the tent, which
was clearly why we were on Deva.
Tanda shrugged. "Neither do I, but we don't have much of a choice, do we? You
know anyone who might know what or where a vortex is?"
Aahz shook his head, obviously trying to think of someone.
"I just don't like the price we're going to pay."
"It doesn't have to be that bad," she said.
Aahz said nothing.
I finished one more last check for scales and glanced at the tent we were
standing in front of. There was no sign, no indication that anyone was even in
it. The crowd in the street seemed to give it a wide berth as well.
"I just wish I knew what we were walking into," I said. "A little hint would be
nice."
"You're staying out here," Aahz said.
I glanced around at the flowing crowds of white-and red-scaled acid demons and
shook my head. "Not a chance."
"We need to stick together," Tanda said, taking my side. "We may have to move
quickly."
"That doesn't sound good," I said.
Aahz made his disgusted noise, then looked me right in the eyes.
"Not a word comes from your mouth in there. Understand?"
"Sure," I said, making a motion across my mouth that I had sealed it.
"Here," Tanda said, smiling at me. "Let me help you with that."
She put her wonderful hand against my mouth. The smell of her skin was that of
distant flowers; her touch was soft. She ran her hand along my mouth as I had
done, then patted my shoulder.
"That was-"
My mouth wouldn't open!
I tried again.
The words sort of jumbled inside and the only noise that reached my ears was
"Thrrrgggg wgggggeeee."
I tried to shout "What did you do?"
What got to my ears was "Wgggggghhh dggggggghhh ygggggghhh dgggggggghhh"
My lips were completely glued together. And the harder I
tried to force them apart, the more painful it became.
"I didn't know you knew that one," Aahz said to Tanda, completely ignoring my
struggle. "I've wanted to use it a hundred times."
She smiled at my mentor. "There are a lot of things you
don't know about me."
Well, as far I was concerned, sealing my lips wasn't something I had ever wanted
Tanda to do with anything except maybe a kiss. I tried to tell her so, but again
nothing sounded like a word.
"Let's do this," Aahz said, nodding in satisfaction at my condition, then
stepping toward the tent.
"Don't worry," Tanda said, smiling at my struggle as she took my arm and
followed Aahz. "It's just temporary. Trust me, it's for your own good. And ours
as well."
Not for the first time, it occurred to me that for someone who claimed not to
have enough magikal talent to be a magician, Tanda occasionally displayed a lot
more knowledge and skill than I had as the Royal Magician of Possiltum.
At the tent flap Aahz didn't even hesitate or knock, if knocking was possible on
a big tent. He just stepped inside and Tanda led me right behind him.
The place was huge.
No, huge didn't describe it. On either side of us the tent seemed to fade off
into the distance. This was the first time I had seen one of the Bazaar tents
that had bigger insides than outsides. Aahz had mentioned them, but until I
stepped into the massive room on the other side of the tent flap, I had no idea
that such a thing was really possible. I was going to have to have Aahz teach me
the magik involved so I could do that with our rooms back at the palace.
The tent was dimly lit and had a polished marble floor and dark, wooden-looking
walls. There was almost no furniture. A simple wooden desk sat on the side of
the room facing where we had come in. A massive map of what looked like
dimensions filled the wall behind it.
A woman sat at the desk, not looking at us at all. Whatever had Aahz and Tanda
so worried about being here wasn't clear on first glance. The room felt odd, but
not threatening, besides it being a hundred times larger than the tent holding
it. We all stopped a few feet in front of the desk, with Aahz clearly in the
position to do the talking.
The woman looked up at him and smiled. She had deep orange eyes and a pug nose
that looked more like a hog's nose than anything like Tanda's. I had never seen
a demon like her before.
"Yes?" she asked.
I almost fell over backwards. Her voice was deep, rough, and clearly that of a
man. It was with the voice that I actually looked at her. Or him, as I was
coming to realize. I had no idea why I had thought he was a woman. His arms and
shoulders were built like a man's, and his brownish hair was cut short. Yet I
had sworn, until he spoke, that he was a woman. Just thinking about it was
getting me confused. Aahz got right to the point.
"We are looking for directions to a dimension called Vortex." The man who sort
of looked like a woman smiled at Aahz. Now he was back to being a woman again.
And his pig nose had vanished, leaving a wonderful pointed nose and red lips.
And as I watched her face shifted slowly. The transformation was amazing. Her
eyes changed color, from orange to blue, her skin darkened, her cheeks rose, and
her hair grew to her shoulders.
"How the-" I started to ask how she changed like that, but my sealed lips
stopped me cold. Aahz and Tanda said nothing. Clearly they had expected to meet
a shape-shifting demon in here. It was as if she were constantly working through
disguise spells. Interesting trick, that was for. sure.
"Well," she said, her voice now soft and rich and alluring, "which Vortex are
you looking for?"
Aahz seemed to struggle for a moment with the answer. I wanted to blurt out that
we needed the first eight of them, but
luckily my mouth was glued shut. I had no idea why I wanted to blurt that out.
"Vortexes #1 through #8," Aahz said.
The demon behind the desk was slowly shifting to look like a stone statue, her
clothes vanishing into her body as she changed into a rock-like demon with
scales for skin and arms as thick as trees. I also noticed that the chair it was
on changed with the size of the creature at the moment. More than likely the
chair was part of its body as well.
"What is the nature of your reason for wanting the location of these places?"
the shifting creature asked, its voice rumbling like thunder inside the massive
room.
Again Aahz struggled with the answer. I had no doubt in my mind I wanted to
blurt out that we had a treasure map. Something about this creature clearly
forced demons standing in front of it to tell the truth. Now I was grateful that
Tanda had closed my mouth. I had no idea how they were keeping quiet. What I was
feeling was clearly very powerful magik or mind control.
"We are searching for a treasure," Aahz said, his words measured and slow, "and
our path leads us through the Vortex dimensions, starting with Vortex #1."
"Logical," the creature said as it shifted toward a pig-body shape.
"The price is 10% of your find."
I could see the anger growing in Aahz's body, his green scales stiff on his
neck. Giving away anything to do with money was beyond something Aahz could do
without undue stress.
Tanda put her hand on his arm and stepped forward.
"Your price is high for simple directions. We will give you 5% of anything we
acquire on this venture, no matter what the value. Otherwise we will look
elsewhere for help."
The creature now looked like a quatra-piggy, a type of demon I had seen in the
street on an earlier trip here. But that body was quickly changing to a new
shape.
"You will not find help elsewhere," the shifting demon said. "But your offer is
fair and I will accept. I assume you need to go to Vortex #1 first?"
"Yes," both Aahz and Tanda said at the same time. The creature, now shifting
back into a beautiful woman again, nodded. "That can be arranged."
摘要：

Myth-ionImprobablebyRobertLynnAsprinAuthor'sNoteIfthisbookisyourfirstexposuretotheMyth-AdventuresofAahzandS\keeve,thereisnoreasonforyoutoreadthisnote.Proceeddirectlytothema\inbodyoftheworkandenjoy.If,however,youhavebeenfollowingthisseriesforsometime,someexplanationsareinorder.Specifically,astowhyyou...

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