Moore - Dude Wheres My Country 3.0

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2024-12-05 0 0 2.42MB 274 页 5.9玖币

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This book has been approved by the Department of Homeland

Security. It contains no seditious acts or acts of treason. Each

word has been examined and analyzed by a team of terrorism ex-

perts to insure that it gives neither aid nor comfort to The Enemy.

This book reveals no state secrets nor does it make public any

classiﬁed documents that may cause embarrassment to the United

States of America or its commander in chief. No hidden messages

to terrorists are contained within. This is a good Christian book,

written by a patriotic American who knows that we will crush

him should he ever step out of line. If you have purchased this

book we are required to notify you per Section 29A of the USA

Patriot Act that your name has now been entered into a database

of potential suspects should the need to declare martial law ever

arise, which we are sure will never happen. Being on this list of

names also qualiﬁes you for the grand prize drawing where ten

lucky winners will receive all new Formica kitchen counters, com-

pliments of Kitchen Magic. If you are indeed a bona ﬁde terrorist

and have purchased this copy in a bookstore, or obtained it at a

library in the hopes of using the information embedded on these

pages, rest assured that we already know who you are. This page

you are ﬁngering right now is made of a top-secret linen paper

that registers an automatic ﬁngerprint and beams it to our central

command in Kissimmee, Florida. Do not attempt to tear this page

out of the book—IT IS TOO LATE. Do not attempt to run be-

cause we’ve got a lock on you right now, you dirty no good evil-

doer . . . FREEZE! DROP THE BOOK! HANDS IN THE AIR!

YOU HAVE A RIGHT TO . . . SCREW IT! YOU DON’T HAVE

ANY RIGHTS!! YOU NO LONGER EXIST! AND TO THINK

IF YOU HAD ONLY APPRECIATED OUR WAY OF LIFE

YOU COULD HAVE HAD YOUR OWN STAIN-RESISTANT

FORMICA COUNTERS!

—Tom Ridge, Secretary of the Homeland

—George W. Bush, Commander in Chief of the Fatherland

APPROVED

10338-Dude, Where's My Country? 8/27/03 1:08 PM Page i

ALSO BY MICHAEL MOORE

Stupid White Men

Downsize This!

Adventures in a TV Nation

(with Kathleen Glynn)

10338-Dude, Where's My Country? 8/27/03 1:08 PM Page ii

Michael Moore

10338-Dude, Where's My Country? 8/27/03 1:08 PM Page iii

www.michaelmoore.com

Warner Books, Inc.,

1271 Avenue of the Americas,

New York, NY 10020

Visit our Web site at www.twbookmark.com.

An AOL Time Warner Company

First eBook Edition: October 2003

ISBN: 0-7595-0809-7

for Rachel Corrie

will I ever have her courage

will I let her death be in vain

for Ardeth Platte, Carol Gilbert

will I go sit in their cell

they would come sit in mine

for Ann Sparanese

one simple act, a voice was saved

are there a million more of her

to save us all

10338-Dude, Where's My Country? 8/27/03 1:08 PM Page v

10338-Dude, Where's My Country? 8/27/03 1:08 PM Page vi

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摘要：

ThisbookhasbeenapprovedbytheDepartmentofHomelandSecurity.Itcontainsnoseditiousactsoractsoftreason.Eachwordhasbeenexaminedandanalyzedbyateamofterrorismex-pertstoinsurethatitgivesneitheraidnorcomforttoTheEnemy.Thisbookrevealsnostatesecretsnordoesitmakepublicanyclassiﬁeddocumentsthatmaycauseembarrassme...

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