Gordon Dickson - Computors Don't Argue

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Anyone -who has had dealings with a book club lately will
readily 'agree with me that this next story is frighteningly
plausible.
COMPUTERS DON'T ARGUE
Gordon R. Dickson
Treasure Book Club
PLEASE DO NOT FOLD, SPINDLE
OR MUTILATE THIS CARD
Mr: Walter A. Child Balance: $4.98
Dear Customer: Enclosed is your latest book selection.
"Kidnapped," by Robert Louis Stevenson.
437 Woodlawn Drive
Panduk, Michigan
Nov 16. 1965
Treasure Book Club
1823 Mandy Street
Chicago, Illinois
Dear Sirs:
I wrote you recently about the computer punch card you
sent, billing me for "Kim," by Rudyard Kipling. I did not open
the package containing it until I had already mailed you my
check for the amount on the card. On opening the package, I
found the book missing half its pages. I sent it back to you,
requesting either another copy or my money back. Instead, you
have sent me a copy of "Kidnapped," by Robert Louis
Stevenson. Will you please straighten this out?
I hereby return the copy of "Kidnapped."
Sincerely yours,
Walter A. Child
Treasure Book Club
SECOND NOTICE
PLEASE DO NOT FOLD, SPINDLE
OR MUTILATE THIS CARD
Mr: Walter A. Child Balance: $4.98
For "Kidnapped," by Robert Louis Stevenson
(If remittance has been made for the above, please disregard
this notice)
Treasure Book Club
1823 Mandy Street
Chicago, Illinois
437 Woodlawn Drive
Panduk, Michigan
Jan. 21. 1966
Dear Sirs:
May I direct your attention to my letter of November 16,
1965? You are still continuing to dun me with computer punch
cards for a book I did not order. Whereas, actually, it is your
company that owes me money.
Sincerely yours,
Walter A. Child
Mr. Walter A. Child
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file:///G|/Program%20Files/eMule/Incoming/Gordon%20Dickson%20-%20Computors%20Don't%20Argue.txt
437 Woodlawn Drive
Panduk, Michigan
Treasure Book Club
1823 Mandy Street
Chicago, Illinois
Feb. 1.1966
Dear Mr. Child:
We have sent you a number of reminders concerning an
amount owing to us as a result of book purchases you have
made from us. This amount, which is $4.98, is now long
overdue.
This situation is disappointing to us, particularly since there
was no hesitation on our part in extending you credit at the
time original arrangements for these purchases were made by
you. If we do not receive payment in full by return mail, we will
be forced to turn the matter over to a collection agency.
Very truly yours,
Samuel P. Grimes
Collection Mgr.
437 Woodlawn Drive
Panduk, Michigan
Feb. 5, 1966
Dear Mr. Grimes:
Will you stop sending me punch cards and form letters and
make me some kind of a direct answer from a human being?
/ don't owe you money. You owe me money. Maybe I should
turn your company over to a collection agency.
Walter A. Child
FEDERAL COLLECTION OUTFIT
88 Prince Street
Chicago, Illinois
Feb. 28, 1966
Mr. Walter A. Child
437 Woodlawn Drive
Panduk, Michigan
Dear Mr. Child:
Your account with the Treasure Book Club, of $4.98 plus
interest and charges, has been turned over to our agency for
collection. The amount due is now $6.83. Please send your
check for this amount or we shall be forced to take immediate
action.
Jacob N. Harshe
Vice President
FEDERAL COLLECTION OUTFIT
88 Pnnce Street
Chicago, Illinois
April 8, 1966
Mr. Walter A. Child
437 Woodlawn Drive
Panduk, Michigan
Dear Mr. Child:
You have seen fit to ignore our courteous requests to settle
your long overdue account with Treasure Book Club, which is
now, with accumulated interest and charges, in the amount of
$7.51.
If payment in full is not forthcoming by April II, 1966, we
will be forced to turn the matter over to our attorneys for
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file:///G|/Program%20Files/eMule/Incoming/Gordon%20Dickson%20-%20Computors%20Don't%20Argue.txt
immediate court action.
Ezekiel B. Harshe
President
MALONEY, MAHONEY,
MACNAMARA and PRUITT
Attorneys
89 Prince Street
Chicago, Illinois
April 29, 1966
Mr. Walter A. Child
437 Woodlawn Drive
Panduk, Michigan
Dear Mr. Child:
Your indebtedness to the Treasure Book Club has been
referred to us for legal action to collect.
This indebtedness is now in the amount.of $10.01. If you
will send us this amount so that we may receive it before May
5, 1966, the matter may be satisfied. However, if we do not
receive satisfaction in full by that date, we will take steps to
collect through the courts.
I am sure you will see the advantage of avoiding a judgment
against you, which as a matter of record would do lasting harm
to your credit rating.
Very truly yours,
Hagthorpe M. Pruitt, Jr.
Attorney at Law
437 Woodlawn Drive
Panduk, Michigan
May 4,1966
Mr. Hagthorpe M. Pruitt, Jr.
Maloney, 'Mahoney, MacNamara and Pruitt
89 Prince Street
Chicago, Illinois
Dear Mr. Pruitt:
You don't know what a pleasure it is to me in this matter to
get a letter from a live human being to whom I can explain the
situation.
This whole matter is silly. I explained it fully in my letters to
the Treasure Book Company. But I might as well have been
trying to explain to the computer that puts out their punch
cards, for all the good it seemed to do. Briefly, what happened
was, I ordered a copy of "Kim," by Rudyard Kipling, for $4.98.
When I opened the package they sent me, I found the book had
only half its pages, but I'd previously mailed a check to pay
them for the book.
I sent the book back to them, asking either for a whole copy
or my money back. Instead, they sent me a copy of
"Kidnapped," by Robert Louis Stevensonwhich I had not
ordered; and for which they have been trying to collect from
me.
Meanwhile, I am still waiting for the money back that they
owe me for the copy of "Kim" that I didn't get. That's the whole
story. Maybe you can help me straighten them out.
Relievedly yours,
Walter A. Child
P.S.: I also sent them back their copy of "Kidnapped," as
soon as I got it, but it hasn't seemed to help. They have never
even acknowledged getting it back.
MALONEY, MAHONEY,
MACNAMARA and PRUITT
Attorneys
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