file:///F|/rah/George%20R.%20R.%20Martin/Martin,%20George%20R.%20R%20-%20Wildcards%209%20-%20Jokertown%20Shuffle.txt
shoulders-if they got 'em-and head for Jokertown.
So just what am I going to do? Threaten to take my basketball and go home, huh?
You think I'm likely to go anywhere at all? Man, I was lucky I managed to get
here three years ago when I was only the size of a school bus. Now... hell, the
blue whale's no longer the world's biggest mammal. I'm bigger than a whole pod
of fucking whales. What's it like?
You can't visualize Bloat. You can't empathize with me. It's not possible.
Every goddamn joker's hell is individual and private. So just leave it that way.
I hate being judge and jury. I even know why.
My parents were weak-willed. Hey, sure ... most kids blame it on their folks.
But why not? Mine were spineless, accommodating people who let the neighbors,
store clerks, and anyone in a position of authority push them around. They were
two nice people who would gladly change their opinions and back down at any hint
of opposition. They were two charming people, really, who let the neighborhood
scum intimidate and harass their son, the high school poet; their son, the "oh,
what a talented artist"; their son, the-one-with-his-head-inthe-comic-books.
They kept telling me (when I came home with bloody noses and black eyes and torn
clothes): "Well, if they're bothering you, why didn't you just walk away? Maybe
it's something you're doing. Concentrate on your drawing or your writing or your
schoolwork, Teddy. Play that strange fantasy dice game of yours or read a comic
book. When you grow up a little, they'll stop."
They were two compassionate people who, when Ted slammed into puberty by turning
into a slug the size of a subway car, didn't just abandon me. No. First they
called the Jokertown Clinic, and then they disappeared.
Gone. Vanished.
Well, Mom and Dad, Teddy sure as hell grew up, didn't he? I wish I were less
your son now, because just getting big didn't help and I'm still carrying all
your emotional baggage with me.
So how do I do what I want to do? How do you find a way to mix power with a
little compassion? How do you make the other players on the stage of the Rox see
that they're too damn shortsighted and selfish? How do you stay an idealist in a
world of greedy pragmatists?
They brought in a case for me to judge today. "The gov's court," they call it,
mockingly. Still, they bring in these cases because I insist on it. Okay, let's
be honest-the usual "justice" on the Rox is violent and final. Actually, they
come only when the antagonists aren't already dead or maimed.
I knew who was guilty before they dragged either one of them in front of me. I
always do.
Blaise escorted them, but Kelly was with the groupKelly whom I find so achingly
attractive, who is still so innocent in her way. I like to watch her; I like to
fantasize about how it might be if I were normal or if I were one of them. I
could read vague, contradictory feelings as Kelly approached. Darker, more
violent thoughts eddied from Blaise and K. C. Strange, another one of the
jumpers, while fright mingled with relief from Slimeball, the joker they were
hauling toward the Administration Building.
I told everyone around me that company was coming, and chuckled. My joker guards
came to attention around the lobby. Kafka came scuttling in from his workroom,
his mind still snared in the maze of blueprints he'd been studying. Around me,
jokers turned to watch: the ever-loyal Peanut, Mothmouth, Video, Shroud,
Chickenhawk, Elmo, Andiron-a dozen others around the floor or looking over the
lobby's high balcony.
Eddies in the currents of thoughts. I could feel the rest of the Rox too: File,
lost in rapture-ecstasy in some hovel in the north end of the island; Charon,
heading out from the Rox toward the siren call of some joker in New York. My
guards had tightened their grips on their weapons.
Blaise's little group entered the lobby noisily, throwing a blast of cold air
into the building. Slimeball was being dragged by main force between K. C. and
Kelly. Blaise was shouting before they were even halfway to me, ranting.
Kafka cleared his throat. His carapace rattled like a pair of cheap castanets.
At the same time, Shroud slammed the bolt home on his .22 Remington single-shot
rifle. I caught amusement from Blaise (fucking popgun). Blaise isn't the psi
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