Davis, Jerry - The Penalties Of Pirating

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file:///G|/Program%20Files/eMule/Incoming/Jerry%20Davis%20-%20The%20Penalties%20Of%20Pirating.txt

THE PENALTIES OF PIRATING

Previously Published in Aboriginal Science Fiction Magazine

Paco was on the forth floor, sitting beside the open window

with his stolen infra-red shades strapped to his head, when there

was a car wreck up the hill. A big black Ferrari tried to take the

corner too fast and ended up with the corner of a 250 year old

brick building buried halfway up into the hood. Paco muttered,

"Whoa!" and climbed out the window and onto the fire escape,

watching.

As the hapless driver was struggling to open his crumpled

door, a blue IBM business limo came sliding to a stop beside it.

Men with guns piled out and opened fire on the man before he could

make it out of the wreck. He dropped a black case onto the

sidewalk and it popped open, and dozens of silvery disks spilled

out. Most stopped within a few feet, but one came rolling down the

hill like a wheel. Paco held his breath, watching. It rolled right

down to the corner below him and dropped into a storm drain. One

of the men came running down after it, and Paco slipped back into

the window and out of sight.

The man below searched in vain, not finding the silvery disk.

He trudged back up the hill, where his comrades were gathering up

the rest. They took the disks and the black case and drove away,

leaving the Ferrari and the driver behind.

Paco jumped out the window and raced down the fire escape to

the sidewalk, pulled the grate off the storm drain, and peered

down into the murk with his 'red shades set to full enhancement.

The disk gleamed like something made out of light itself. He

grabbed it, shoved it deep into his coat pocket, and was back up

on the forth floor in less than a minute.

Back up inside the apartment, Paco rinsed it off in the sink

and took a good look at it under a light. It was a standard CD, no

markings on it, and no serial number. He slipped it into a slot on

his old VAX Banger and fired it up. Just as he'd thought, it was

some coded computer program, a very large and sophisticated one by

the looks of it. He used a hacker program to determine the

decoding password and wrote it on a little label, and stuck it on

the top side of the disk.

The next day he traded it to Melvin Chevaux for a gig of

stolen slate RAM and a really wicked throwing knife. Three days

later Chevaux sold it to Francisco the Fence for ¥300 (New

Dollars) and a stolen case of Everclear. Francisco the Fence

passed it off for ¥550 to Dano Sharks, the software pirate. Dano

made a lot of noise, grumbling about the price, but turned right

around and sold it for an even ¥1000 to Leo Itoya, the insurance

broker. Leo was pleased at the price, for he'd been looking for a

cheap AI all week. It was for Lolita, his secretary.

Lolita had been complaining for two months straight that she

needed some help around the office. An AI (artificial

intelligence) program was not what she had in mind, she wanted Leo

to hire her cousin, Wanda Lopez, because Wanda needed a job. Leo

had another idea altogether. Dano Sharks had told him this AI was

programmed as a business administrator, to take the initiative and

to give orders. It was obviously some government thing, probably

the same program that ran the welfare office. He was going to load

it into his office computer and give it control. Lolita was going

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to be helping it, not the other way around.

The next evening, after Lolita had gone home, Leo sat down

with a six-pack and his office computer to see if he could figure

the new software out. He loaded it into his machine and typed in

the code word, and it went all through his computer system

checking everything out. Then it printed out a list of everything

it found and then posed the question: WHAT IS MY GOAL?

"Smart program!" Leo said. He leaned forward and typed at the

keyboard, YOUR GOAL IS TO MAKE MONEY SELLING LIFE INSURANCE.

WHAT IS LIFE INSURANCE? it asked.

"Oh jeeze, you mean I have to explain the entire concept of

insurance to this thing?" Leo concentrated for a moment, then

typed: LIFE INSURANCE IS A SERVICE WHICH PAYS THE CUSTOMER A LARGE

AMOUNT OF MONEY IF SOMEONE DIES.

HOW DOES THIS SERVICE OPERATE? it asked.

Leo sipped his beer. This really was an intelligent program.

WE SELL THE INSURANCE, he typed, AND THE CLIENT PAYS A CERTAIN

AMOUNT A MONTH. IF THE CLIENT DIES WHILE HE IS INSURED, HIS

BENEFACTOR IS PAID THE AMOUNT OF MONEY AGREED UPON IN THE

INSURANCE CONTRACT. Leo continued typing, going into details. The

program grasped everything he told it, except one thing.

HOW DO YOU MAKE MONEY IF YOU HAVE TO EVENTUALLY PAY IT ALL

BACK? THERE APPEARS TO BE A FLAW IN YOUR SCHEME.

Leo laughed out loud. Bright program! Very intelligent. THE

WHOLE SCHEME DEPENDS UPON THE CLIENT NOT DYING WHILE BEING

INSURED. IT ALSO DEPENDS UPON A LARGE AND CONTINUOUSLY RENEWED

SOURCE OF NEW CLIENTS.

The program was still perplexed. IN ORDER FOR THE SCHEME TO

CONTINUE, AND FOR YOU TO MAKE MONEY, IT DEMANDS AN EXPONENTIAL

GROWTH. IT IS AN UNSTABLE AND UNREALISTIC SCHEME.

YES, IT IS. Leo was laughing as he typed this. BUT THAT'S NOT

OUR PROBLEM. WE ONLY SELL THE INSURANCE, WE'RE NOT THE COMPANY

THAT PAYS OFF THE BENEFICIARIES WHEN AN INSURED CLIENT DIES. WE

GET SALES COMMISSIONS FROM ABOUT TWO DOZEN INSURANCE COMPANIES. TO

MAKE MONEY, I HAVE TO SELL A LOT OF INSURANCE. THAT IS WHY I NEED

YOUR HELP.

I UNDERSTAND. The two words glowed on the screen, and the

program asked no more questions. The computer sat quiet, inert,

like it was waiting for further instructions. Leo was wondering

where he should go from there when suddenly the printer whirred

and spit out a page:

FOR THE SCHEME LIFE INSURANCE SALES I WILL REQUIRE THE FOLLOWING:

64 TERABYTES ADDITIONAL DATA STORAGE

500 GIGABYTES IN ADDITIONAL RAM MODULES

1 ADDITIONAL PHONE LINE

1 VOX MODEM

ACCESS CODE TO COMPANY BANK ACCOUNT

IF YOU WISH I CAN BEGIN SEARCHING FOR THE LOWEST COST SOURCES OF

THE ABOVE ITEMS.

Leo gaped at the list. Vox modem? he thought. What's wrong with

the regular modem? Shaking his head, he reluctantly gave the

program permission to order what it needed. After all, he'd just

spent ¥1000 on the program. It would be ¥1000 wasted if it didn't

have what it needed to do its job.

When he reached his office the next morning he found two

delivery trucks in front and an upset receptionist inside. The

items the computer had ordered were already there, with a

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technician hooking them up, and Lolita was tearfully asking Leo

why he was mad with her.

"What are you talking about?" he said.

Her pretty lower lip thrust up and trembling, she said,

"This!" and confronted him with a computer-printed note and a

paycheck. The computer had fired her and had printed out a

severance check it was even signed.

"I didn't tell the computer to fire you!" Leo exclaimed.

"Oh, yeah right. It did it on it's own."

"It did! I've got this new program "

"Spare me, Leo! If you can't face me with the truth, that's

your problem. Don't insult me with a stupid story about the

computer doing it. How stupid do you think I am, anyway."

"But Lolita "

Lolita angrily stuffed her check between her breasts and

left. He followed her halfway down the block but she wouldn't

speak to him, so he gave up and returned to the office. He entered

just as the technician was finishing with the computer. "Sign

here, please," he said to Leo.

Halfway through signing Leo noticed the price. "Six-thousand

dollars!"

"Yeah, I thought it was a mistake too," the technician said.

"But the company confirmed it, you got a great deal."

"Great deal!? Six-thousand is a great deal?"

"For fourteen-thousand dollars worth of equipment, I'd say

so!"

Leo finished signing and the technician left. Beside him, the

printer began whirring and pages began slipping out. Leo picked

one up and found it was a sales letter, very well written in an

appealing style, addressed to someone whom he didn't know. What

startled him was that like on Lolita's severance check his own

signature was at the bottom. "What the hell is this?"

"I am assuming you are you are talking to me," a female voice

said. It was coming from the new vox modem. "During the evening

while the phone rates were down, I accessed several nearby

hospital data banks and compiled a list of people who are in

outstanding health according to recent physical examinations. I am

writing them a form letter and then will follow up with a phone

call to secure an appointment. As appointments are made I will

print out daily schedules for you to follow."

Leo felt a little dizzy, trying to take this all in. "How did

you do my signature?"

"I was able to pull a sample of your signature out of the

memory buffer of the fax peripheral. The signature is from a

letter you faxed yesterday morning."

"Why did you fire Lolita?"

"Her pay was unnecessary overhead."

"What makes you think I wanted her fired?"

"My purpose is to make money selling life insurance. It was a

business decision which needed to be made."

"You should have asked me first."

"You did not specify that beforehand."

"You, I " Leo threw his hands into the air, and sat down in

his desk chair. What was the point in arguing with a machine? The

fact was, the machine appeared to be doing her job already, and

with much more efficiency, and had the machine not fired her he

would have never been able to bring himself to do it. It had

actually done him a favor.

Sitting there, thinking about it, he suddenly had a swelling

feeling of well-being. He picked up one of the freshly printed

sales letters and read it over again with admiration. This program

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