
to put a little Oriental flavor into the poem and wow the folks back home
in Oconomowoc. There is a lot of heavy bamboo in front of this truck,
dozens of makeshift turnpikes blocking their path to the river, for the
officers of the U.S. Navy's Asiatic Fleet, and of the Fourth Marines, who
dreamed up this little operation forgot to take the Friday Afternoon
factor into account. As Bobby Shaftoe could've explained to them, if only
they'd bothered to ask a poor dumb jarhead, their route took them
through the heart of the banking district. Here you've got the Hong
Kong and Shanghai Bank of course, City Bank, Chase Manhattan, the
Bank of America, and BBME and the Agricultural Bank of China and any
number of crappy little provincial banks, and several of those banks
have contracts with what's left of the Chinese Government to print
currency. It must be a cutthroat business because they slash costs by
printing it on old newspapers, and if you know how to read Chinese, you
can see last year's news stories and polo scores peeking through the
colored numbers and pictures that transform these pieces of paper into
legal tender.
As every chicken-peddler and rickshaw operator in Shanghai knows, the
money-printing contracts stipulate that all of the bills these banks print
have to be backed by such-and-such an amount of silver; i.e., anyone
should be able to walk into one of those banks at the end of Kiukiang
Road and slap down a pile of bills and (provided that those bills were
printed by that same bank) receive actual metallic silver in exchange.
Now if China weren't right in the middle of getting systematically drawn
and quartered by the Empire of Nippon, it would probably send official
bean counters around to keep tabs on how much silver was actually
present in these banks' vaults, and it would all be quiet and orderly. But
as it stands, the only thing keeping these banks honest is the other
banks.
Here's how they do it: during the normal course of business, lots of
paper money will pass over the counters of (say) Chase Manhattan
Bank. They'll take it into a back room and sort it, throwing into money
boxes (a couple of feet square and a yard deep, with ropes on the four
corners) all of the bills that were printed by (say) Bank of America in
one, all of the City Bank bills into another. Then, on Friday afternoon
they will bring in coolies. Each coolie, or pair of coolies, will of course
have his great big long bamboo pole with him--a coolie without his pole
is like a China Marine without his nickel-plated bayonet--and will poke
their pole through the ropes on the corners of the box. Then one coolie
will get underneath each end of the pole, hoisting the box into the air.
They have to move in unison or else the box begins flailing around and
everything gets out of whack. So as they head towards their
destination--whatever bank whose name is printed on the bills in their
box--they sing to each other, and plant their feet on the pavement in
time to the music. The pole's pretty long, so they are that far apart, and
they have to sing loud to hear each other, and of course each pair of
coolies in the street is singing their own particular song, trying to drown
out all of the others so that they don't get out of step.
So ten minutes before closing time on Friday afternoon, the doors of
many banks burst open and numerous pairs of coolies march in singing,
like the curtain-raiser on a fucking Broadway musical, slam their huge
boxes of tattered currency down, and demand silver in exchange. All of
the banks do this to each other. Sometimes, they'll all do it on the same
Friday, particularly at times like 28 November 1941, when even a grunt
like Bobby Shaftoe can understand that it's better to be holding silver
than piles of old cut-up newspaper. And that is why, once the normal