A. Bertram Chandler- The Principle

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The Principle

by A. Bertram Chandler

People have talked about the innate perversity of inanimate objects for years but has anyone

tried to figure out whether there are any laws about it?

A. Bertram Chandler is well known for his provoking little short stories about loopholes in science.

Here's one which may make you wonder, why not?

GORDON, whom beer always made philosophical, said that it was a great pity that Einstein was

dead. Hibbert, whose favorite tipple, whiskey, made him argumentative, asked why.

"In any case," said Hibbert, not waiting for an answer, "he did quite enough damage for one man in

his lifetime with that equation of his. You know the one I mean..."

"I do," said Gordon.

"You know the one I mean," repeated Hibbert, glaring at the other. "E over MC2. That's what gave

them the idea for the atomic bomb. That's why we had no summer last year, and why we're not going to

get any this. It's a great pity, in my opinion, that Einstein ever lived."

Gordon sipped his beer slowly. He was only a little man, and it seemed at first that he was almost

afraid of Hibbert's bulk. But we knew that this was not the case. Philosophical he might be—but he was

the sort of philosopher who would go on peddling his brand of philosophy in the face of any and all

adverse criticism. He finished what was in his glass, then rapped it gently on the counter to attract the

attention of the barmaid. When it was refilled he took a careful swallow, then drew up to his insignificant

full height.

"THE TROUBLE with you, Hibbert," he said slowly and distinctly, "is that you just don't think. You

take all your opinions ready-made from the newspapers—and from the cheapest and nastiest

newspapers at that. To you, atomic power means nothing but bombs—fission bombs, fusion bombe,

cobalt bombs and anything else that may have been cooked up since yesterday morning." He raised a

hand. "Now, Hibbert, let me finish; we heard you out. My point is this—atomic power had to come. We

are nearing the time when we shall have exhausted the oil and coal reserves—and, bear this in mind, ours

is essentially a power-wasting civilisation. For example—just compare the consumption of power by the

average household now with the same household's consumption twenty years ago. So—we just had to

have the new power source and the sooner the better…"

"So Einstein gave it to us," laughed Hibbert. "According to you, he's played his part."

"No, Hibbert; there was plenty of work to be, done. Einstein never had a chance to finish his Unified

Field Theory..."

"And what was that?" I asked.

"Mathematics—a formula—to account for every physical phenomenon. With those equations we

could, perhaps, have drawn enough power from a grain of sand to light a city. We could have flown to

the stars; we could..."

". . .have blown the world up," finished Hibbert. "But cheer up Gordon boy, we'll do it yet. We'll do

it that is, unless we really went to do it. And then Hibbert's Law will take over and stop us from doing

it..."

"HIBBERT'S LAW? Never heard of it. Come to that—I've never heard of a scientist or a

philosopher with your name."

"But you've heard of me," said Hibbert softy. "And you said just now that I couldn't think. Well,

Gordon —I can think. I can think, for myself, too, and don't have to rely upon writers in the highbrow

weeklies to supply my thoughts for me. Furthermore, Gordon, Hibbert's Law is just as valid as Einstein's

famous equation; and, furthermore, I can prove it."

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A. Bertram Chandler- The Principle

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