Brian W. Aldiss - Better Morphosis

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BETTER MORPHOSIS

Better Morphosis

Look, I'll put it to you this way, in the hope you'll understand. Literature's

okay, but what really grabs me is scuttling, right? Like, I mean, scuttling -

here and there, anywhere I feel like.

Which is to say that directions are better than sentences. Any direction

better than any sentence. Scuttle scuttle scuttle. Bliss.

Me and all my friends had been having this really great scuttle. Okay? A

megascuttle, all round this apartment building in Prague. A moment's

inattention and what happens?

- Jesus, I wake up and find myself transformed. Like lying in a BED,

transformed into-. Look, I have to tell you. Into this huge pale human thing.

Well - shit, into Franz Kafka. KAFKA. (That's his name. They have NAMES.)

Where's everyone gone? Nowhere. I don't know. I don't know, I never had

a single thought before. Suddenly I'm Franz Kafka, lying there in that bed

and thinking fit to bust. THINKING. Yuk...

All I'm thinking is just awful. I mean, I'm a fan of oily rags and maybe

mildew. A bit of damp in a bad corner and I' m happy. Anything. Grease,

know what I mean? But not for fuck's sake thinking.

Honest, I didn't even know thinking had been invented. But there I was,

and thinking - I may as well say it, thinking bad thoughts about my father.

How he was so oppressive, how he was so strong and hairy and his voice was

so loud and when he washed of a morning he made splashes in the

washbasin and blew his nose into the water, both nostrils at once into the

soapy water and...

Well, look, Christ, never mind thinking, like the whole concept of FATHER

was alien. Come on, down there in the basement, we just spawned,

remember. We just were. One moment, nothing. Eggs. Next moment, up

and running. Dozens of us, scuttling. You know? Scuttling, having real fun,

mobile as all get-out. Little legs going like the clappers. So I felt down the

bed. TWO LEGS.

Jesus. What a nightmare!

Just TWO LEGS. Where had all the others gone? Pity's sake, what the hell

was I supposed to do with two legs? You think you can get a good scuttle

going with two legs? Forget it!

Two legs. I can't get over it. Between the legs some hair of a sort and this

stupid flabby thing. I feel it with my mandibles -

Mandibles! Yow, what have the bastards done to me? I have lost my

shagging mandibles. No mandibles. Just these feeble hand things, all pale

and pulpy and -

- and I pull at it and it - sort of gets stiff -

- come on, I must be off my tiny thorax -

- it gives out with some mess that I might normally eat but now it sort of

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Brian W. Aldiss - Better Morphosis

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