DANNY’S OWN STORY(丹尼自传)

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DANNY'S OWN STORY

BY DON MARQUIS

TO MY WIFE

DANNY'S OWN STORY

CHAPTER I

HOW I come not to have a last name is a question that has always had

more or less aggervation mixed up with it. I might of had one jest as

well as not if Old Hank Walters hadn't been so all-fired, infernal bull-

headed about things in gineral, and his wife Elmira a blame sight worse,

and both of em ready to row at a minute's notice and stick to it

forevermore.

Hank, he was considerable of a lusher. One Saturday night, when he

come home from the vil- lage in his usual fix, he stumbled over a basket

that was setting on his front steps. Then he got up and drawed back his

foot unsteady to kick it plumb into kingdom come. Jest then he hearn

Elmira opening the door behind him, and he turned his head sudden. But

the kick was already started into the air, and when he turns he can't stop it.

And so Hank gets twisted and falls down and steps on himself. That

basket lets out a yowl.

"It's kittens," says Hank, still setting down and staring at that there

basket. All of which, you understand, I am a-telling you from hearsay, as

the lawyers always asts you in court.

Elmira, she sings out:

"Kittens, nothing! It's a baby!"

And she opens the basket and looks in and it was me.

"Hennerey Walters," she says -- picking me up, and shaking me at him

like I was a crime, "Hen- nerey Walters, where did you get this here

baby?" She always calls him Hennerey when she is getting ready to give

him fits.

Hank, he scratches his head, for he's kind o' confuddled, and thinks

mebby he really has brought this basket with him. He tries to think of all

the places he has been that night. But he can't think of any place but Bill

Nolan's saloon. So he says:

"Elmira, honest, I ain't had but one drink all day." And then he kind

o' rouses up a little bit, and gets surprised and says:

"That a BABY you got there, Elmira?" And then he says, dignified:

"So fur as that's consarned, Elmira, where did YOU get that there baby?"

DANNY'S OWN STORY

She looks at him, and she sees he don't really know where I come from.

Old Hank mostly was truth- ful when lickered up, fur that matter, and she

knowed it, fur he couldn't think up no lies excepting a gineral denial when

intoxicated up to the gills.

Elmira looks into the basket. They was one of them long rubber

tubes stringing out of a bottle that was in it, and I had been sucking that

bottle when interrupted. And they wasn't nothing else in that basket but a

big thick shawl which had been wrapped all around me, and Elmira often

wore it to meeting afterward. She goes inside and she looks at the bottle

and me by the light, and Old Hank, he comes stumbling in afterward and

sets down in a chair and waits to get Hail Columbia for coming home in

that shape, so's he can row back agin, like they done every Saturday night.

Blowed in the glass of the bottle was the name: "Daniel, Dunne and

Company." Anybody but them two old ignoramuses could of told right

off that that didn't have nothing to do with me, but was jest the company

that made them kind of bottles. But she reads it out loud three or four

times, and then she says:

"His name is Daniel Dunne," she says.

"And Company," says Hank, feeling right quarrelsome.

"COMPANY hain't no name," says she.

"WHY hain't it, I'd like to know?" says Hank. "I knowed a man oncet

whose name was Farmer, and if a farmer's a name why ain't a company a

name too?"

"His name is Daniel Dunne," says Elmira, quiet- like, but not dodging

a row, neither.

"AND COMPANY," says Hank, getting onto his feet, like he always

done when he seen trouble coming. When Old Hank was full of licker he

knowed jest the ways to aggervate her the worst.

She might of banged him one the same as usual, and got her own eye

blacked also, the same as usual; but jest then I lets out another big yowl,

and she give me some milk.

I guess the only reason they ever kep' me at first was so they could

quarrel about my name. They'd lived together a good many years and

quarrelled about everything else under the sun, and was running out of

DANNY'S OWN STORY

subjects. A new subject kind o' briskened things up fur a while.

But finally they went too far with it one time. I was about two years

old then and he was still calling me Company and her calling me Dunne.

This time he hits her a lick that lays her out and likes to kill her, and it gets

him scared. But she gets around agin after a while, and they both see it

has went too fur that time, and so they makes up.

"Elmira, I give in," says Hank. "His name is Dunne."

"No," says she, tender-like, "you was right, Hank. His name is

Company." So they pretty near got into another row over that. But they

finally made it up between em I didn't have no last name, and they'd jest

call me Danny. Which they both done faithful ever after, as agreed.

Old Hank, he was a blacksmith, and he used to lamm me considerable,

him and his wife not having any kids of their own to lick. He lammed

me when he was drunk, and he whaled me when he was sober. I never helt

it up agin him much, neither, not fur a good many years, because he got

me used to it young, and I hadn't never knowed nothing else. Hank's wife,

Elmira, she used to lick him jest about as often as he licked her, and boss

him jest as much. So he fell back on me. A man has jest naturally got to

have something to cuss around and boss, so's to keep himself from finding

out he don't amount to nothing. Leastways, most men is like that. And

Hank, he didn't amount to much; and he kind o' knowed it, way down deep

in his inmost gizzards, and it were a comfort to him to have me around.

But they was one thing he never sot no store by, and I got along now to

where I hold that up agin him more'n all the lickings he ever done. That

was book learning. He never had none himself, and he was sot agin it,

and he never made me get none, and if I'd ever asted him for any he'd of

whaled me fur that. Hank's wife, Elmira, had married beneath her, and

everybody in our town had come to see it, and used to sympathize with her

about it when Hank wasn't around. She'd tell em, yes, it was so. Back

in Elmira, New York, from which her father and mother come to our part

of Illinoise in the early days, her father had kep' a hotel, and they was

stylish kind o' folks. When she was born her mother was homesick fur

all that style and fur York State ways, and so she named her Elmira.

But when she married Hank, he had considerable land. His father

DANNY'S OWN STORY

had left it to him, but it was all swamp land, and so Hank's father, he

hunted more'n he farmed, and Hank and his brothers done the same when

he was a boy. But Hank, he learnt a little blacksmithing when he was

growing up, cause he liked to tinker around and to show how stout he

was. Then, when he married Elmira Appleton, he had to go to work

practising that perfession reg'lar, because he never learnt nothing about

farming. He'd sell fifteen or twenty acres, every now and then, and

they'd be high times till he'd spent it up, and mebby Elmira would get

some new clothes.

But when I was found on the door step, the land was all gone, and

Hank was practising reg'lar, when not busy cussing out the fellers that had

bought the land. Fur some smart fellers had come along, and bought up

all that swamp land and dreened it, and now it was worth seventy or eighty

dollars an acre. Hank, he figgered some one had cheated him. Which

the Walterses could of dreened theirn too, only they'd ruther hunt ducks

and have fish frys than to dig ditches. All of which I hearn Elmira

talking over with the neighbours more'n once when I was growing up, and

they all says: "How sad it is you have came to this, Elmira!" And then

she'd kind o' spunk up and say, thanks to glory, she'd kep' her pride.

Well, they was worse places to live in than that there little town, even

if they wasn't no railroad within eight miles, and only three hundred soles

in the hull copperation. Which Hank's shop and our house set in the edge

of the woods jest outside the copperation line, so's the city marshal didn't

have no authority to arrest him after he crossed it.

They was one thing in that house I always admired when I was a kid.

And that was a big cistern. Most people has their cisterns outside their

house, and they is a tin pipe takes all the rain water off the roof and scoots

it into them. Ourn worked the same, but our cistern was right in under

our kitchen floor, and they was a trap door with leather hinges opened into

it right by the kitchen stove. But that wasn't why I was so proud of it. It

was because that cistern was jest plumb full of fish -- bullheads and red

horse and sunfish and other kinds.

Hank's father had built that cistern. And one time he brung home

some live fish in a bucket and dumped em in there. And they growed.

DANNY'S OWN STORY

And they multiplied in there and refurnished the earth. So that cistern had

got to be a fambly custom, which was kep' up in that fambly for a habit.

It was a great comfort to Hank, fur all them Walterses was great fish eaters,

though it never went to brains. We fed em now and then, and throwed

back in the little ones till they was growed, and kep' the dead ones picked

out soon's we smelled anything wrong, and it never hurt the water none;

and when I was a kid I wouldn't of took anything fur living in a house like

that.

Oncet, when I was a kid about six years old, Hank come home from

the bar-room. He got to chasing Elmira's cat cause he says it was

making faces at him. The cistern door was open, and Hank fell in.

Elmira was over to town, and I was scared. She had always told me not to

fool around there none when I was a little kid, fur if I fell in there I'd be a

corpse quicker'n scatt.

So when Hank fell in, and I hearn him splash, being only a little feller,

and awful scared because Elmira had always made it so strong, I hadn't no

sort of unbelief but what Hank was a corpse already. So I slams the trap

door shut over that there cistern without looking in, fur I hearn Hank

flopping around down in there. I hadn't never hearn a corpse flop before,

and didn't know but what it might be some- how injurious to me, and I

wasn't going to take no chances.

So I went out and played in the front yard, and waited fur Elmira.

But I couldn't seem to get my mind settled on playing I was a horse, nor

nothing. I kep' thinking mebby Hank's corpse is going to come flopping

out of that cistern and whale me some unusual way. I hadn't never been

licked by a corpse, and didn't rightly know jest what one is, anyhow, being

young and comparitive innocent. So I sneaks back in and sets all the

flatirons in the house on top of the cistern lid. I hearn some flop- ping

and splashing and spluttering, like Hank's corpse is trying to jump up and

is falling back into the water, and I hearn Hank's voice, and got scareder

yet. And when Elmira come along down the road, she seen me by the

gate a-crying, and she asts me why.

"Hank is a corpse," says I, blubbering.

"A corpse!" says Elmira, dropping her coffee which she was carrying

DANNY'S OWN STORY

home from the gineral store and post-office. "Danny, what do you

mean?"

I seen I was to blame somehow, and I wisht then I hadn't said nothing

about Hank being a corpse. And I made up my mind I wouldn't say

nothing more. So when she grabs holt of me and asts me agin what did I

mean I blubbered harder, jest the way a kid will, and says nothing else. I

wisht I hadn't set them flatirons on that door, fur it come to me all at oncet

that even if Hank HAS turned into a corpse I ain't got any right to keep

him in that cistern.

Jest then Old Mis' Rogers, which is one of our neighbours, comes by,

while Elmira is shaking me and yelling out what did I mean and how did it

happen and had I saw it and where was Hank's corpse?

And Mis' Rogers she says, "What's Danny been doing now, Elmira?"

me being always up to some- thing.

Elmira she turned around and seen her, and she gives a whoop and

then hollers out: "Hank is dead!" and throws her apern over her head and

sets right down in the path and boo-hoos like a baby. And I bellers

louder.

Mis' Rogers, she never waited to ast nothing more. She seen she had

a piece of news, and she's bound to be the first to spread it, like they is

always a lot of women wants to be in them country towns. She run right

acrost the road to where the Alexan- derses lived. Mis' Alexander, she

seen her coming and unhooked the screen door, and Mis' Rogers she

hollers out before she reached the porch:

"Hank Walters is dead."

And then she went footing it up the street. They was a black plume on

her bunnet which nodded the same as on a hearse, and she was into and

out of seven front yards in five minutes.

Mis' Alexander, she runs acrost the street to where we was, and she

kneels down and puts her arm around Elmira, which was still rocking back

and forth in the path, and she says:

"How do you know he's dead, Elmira? I seen him not more'n an hour

ago."

"Danny seen it all," says Elmira.

DANNY'S OWN STORY

Mis' Alexander turned to me, and wants to know what happened and

how it happened and where it happened. But I don't want to say nothing

about that cistern. So I busts out bellering fresher'n ever, and I says:

"He was drunk, and he come home drunk, and he done it then, and

that's how he cone it," I says.

"And you seen him?" she says. I nodded.

"Where is he?" says she and Elmira, both to oncet.

But I was scared to say nothing about that there cistern, so I jest

bawled some more.

"Was it in the blacksmith shop?" says Mis' Alexander. I nodded my

head agin and let it go at that.

"Is he in there now?" asts Mis' Alexander. I nodded agin. I hadn't

meant to give out no untrue stories. But a kid will always tell a lie, not

meaning to tell one, if you sort of invite him with questions like that, and

get him scared the way you're acting. Besides, I says to myself, "so long as

Hank has turned into a corpse and that makes him dead, what's the

difference whether he's in the black- smith shop or not?" Fur I hadn't had

any plain idea, being such a little kid, that a corpse meant to be dead, and

wasn't sure what being dead was like, neither, except they had funerals

over you then. I knowed being a corpse must be some sort of a big

disad- vantage from the way Elmira always says keep away from that

cistern door or I'll be one. But if they was going to be a funeral in our

house, I'd feel kind o' important, too. They didn't have em every day in

our town, and we hadn't never had one of our own.

So Mis' Alexander, she led Elmira into the house, both a-crying, and

Mis' Alexander trying to comfort her, and me a tagging along behind

holding onto Elmira's skirts and sniffling into them. And in a few

minutes all them women Mis' Rogers has told come filing into that room,

one at a time, looking sad. Only Old Mis' Primrose, she was awful late

getting there because she stopped to put on her bunnet she always wore to

funerals with the black Paris lace on it her cousin Arminty White had sent

her from Chicago.

When they found out Hank had come home with licker in him and

done it himself, they was all excited, and they all crowds around and asts

DANNY'S OWN STORY

me how, except two as is holding onto Elmira's hands which sets moaning

in a chair. And they all asts me questions as to what I seen him do, which

if they hadn't I wouldn't have told em the lies I did. But they egged me

on to it.

Says one woman: "Danny, you seen him do it in the blacksmith shop?"

I nodded.

"But how did he get in?" sings out another woman. "The door was

locked on the outside with a padlock jest now when I come by. He

couldn't of killed himself in there and locked the door on the outside."

I didn't see how he could of done that myself, so I begun to bawl agin

and said nothing at all.

"He must of crawled through that little side window," says another one.

"It was open when I come by, if the door WAS locked. Did you see him

crawl through the little side window, Danny?"

I nodded. They wasn't nothing else fur me to do.

"But YOU hain't tall enough to look through that there window," says

another one to me. "How could you see into that shop, Danny?"

I didn't know, so I didn't say nothing at all; I jest sniffled.

"They is a store box right in under that window," says another one.

"Danny must have clumb onto that store box and looked in after he seen

Hank come down the road and crawl through the window. Did you

scramble onto the store box and look in, Danny?"

I jest nodded agin.

"And what was it you seen him do? How did he kill himself?" they

all asts to oncet.

_I_ didn't know. So I jest bellers and boo-hoos some more. Things

was getting past anything I could see the way out of.

"He might of hung himself to one of the iron rings in the jists above

the forge," says another woman. "He clumb onto the forge to tie the rope

to one of them rings, and he tied the other end around his neck, and then

he stepped off'n the forge. Was that how he done it, Danny?"

I nodded. And then I bellered louder than ever. I knowed Hank was

down in that there cistern, a corpse and a mighty wet corpse, all this time;

but they kind o' got me to thinking mebby he was hang- ing out in the

DANNY'S OWN STORY

shop by the forge, too. And I guessed

I'd better stick to the shop story, not wanting to say nothing about that

cistern no sooner'n I could help it.

Pretty soon one woman says, kind o' shivery:

"I don't want to have the job of opening the door of that blacksmith

shop the first one!"

And they all kind o' shivered then, and looked at Elmira. They says

to let some of the men open it. And Mis' Alexander, she says she'll run

home and tell her husband right off.

And all the time Elmira is moaning in that chair. One woman says

Elmira orter have a cup o' tea, which she'll lay off her bunnet and go to the

kitchen and make it fur her. But Elmira says no, she can't a-bear to think

of tea, with poor Hennerey a-hang- ing out there in the shop. But she

was kind o' enjoying all that fuss being made over her, too. And all the

other women says:

"Poor thing!" But all the same they was mad she said she didn't want

any tea, for they all wanted some and didn't feel free without she took it

too. Which she said she would after they'd coaxed a while and made her

see her duty.

So they all goes out to the kitchen, bringing along some of the best

room chairs, Elmira coming too, and me tagging along behind. And the

first thing they noticed was them flatirons on top of the cistern door. Mis'

Primrose, she says that looks funny. But another woman speaks up and

says Danny must of been playing with them while Elmira was over town.

She says, "Was you playing they was horses, Danny?"

I was feeling considerable like a liar by this time, but I says I was

playing horses with them, fur I couldn't see no use in hurrying things up.

I was bound to get a lamming purty soon anyhow. When I was a kid I

could always bet on that. So they picks up the flatirons, and as they

picks em up they come a splashing noise in the cistern. I thinks to

myself, Hank's corpse'll be out of there in a minute. One woman, she says:

"Goodness gracious sakes alive! What's that, Elmira?"

Elmira says that cistern is mighty full of fish, and they is some great

big ones in there, and it must be some of them a-flopping around. Which

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DANNY'SOWNSTORY1DANNY'SOWNSTORYBYDONMARQUISTOMYWIFEDANNY'SOWNSTORY2CHAPTERIHOWIcomenottohavealastnameisaquestionthathasalwayshadmoreorlessaggervationmixedupwithit.ImightofhadonejestaswellasnotifOldHankWaltershadn'tbeensoall-fired,infernalbull-headedaboutthingsingineral,andhiswifeElmiraablamesightwor...

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