The Autobiography of Charles Darwin(查尔斯达尔文自传)

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The Autobiography of Charles Darwin

The Autobiography of

Charles Darwin

--From The Life and Letters of Charles Darwin

Edited by Francis Darwin

The Autobiography of Charles Darwin

[My father's autobiographical recollections, given in the present

chapter, were written for his children,--and written without any thought

that they would ever be published. To many this may seem an

impossibility; but those who knew my father will understand how it was

not only possible, but natural. The autobiography bears the heading,

'Recollections of the Development of my Mind and Character,' and end

with the following note:--"Aug. 3, 1876. This sketch of my life was

begun about May 28th at Hopedene (Mr. Hensleigh Wedgwood's house in

Surrey.), and since then I have written for nearly an hour on most

afternoons." It will easily be understood that, in a narrative of a personal

and intimate kind written for his wife and children, passages should occur

which must here be omitted; and I have not thought it necessary to

indicate where such omissions are made. It has been found necessary to

make a few corrections of obvious verbal slips, but the number of such

alterations has been kept down to the minimum.--F.D.]

A German Editor having written to me for an account of the

development of my mind and character with some sketch of my

autobiography, I have thought that the attempt would amuse me, and

might possibly interest my children or their children. I know that it

would have interested me greatly to have read even so short and dull a

sketch of the mind of my grandfather, written by himself, and what he

thought and did, and how he worked. I have attempted to write the

following account of myself, as if I were a dead man in another world

looking back at my own life. Nor have I found this difficult, for life is

nearly over with me. I have taken no pains about my style of writing.

I was born at Shrewsbury on February 12th, 1809, and my earliest

recollection goes back only to when I was a few months over four years

old, when we went to near Abergele for sea-bathing, and I recollect some

events and places there with some little distinctness.

My mother died in July 1817, when I was a little over eight years old,

and it is odd that I can remember hardly anything about her except her

death-bed, her black velvet gown, and her curiously constructed work-

table. In the spring of this same year I was sent to a day-school in

The Autobiography of Charles Darwin

Shrewsbury, where I stayed a year. I have been told that I was much

slower in learning than my younger sister Catherine, and I believe that I

was in many ways a naughty boy.

By the time I went to this day-school (Kept by Rev. G. Case, minister

of the Unitarian Chapel in the High Street. Mrs. Darwin was a Unitarian

and attended Mr. Case's chapel, and my father as a little boy went there

with his elder sisters. But both he and his brother were christened and

intended to belong to the Church of England; and after his early boyhood

he seems usually to have gone to church and not to Mr. Case's. It appears

("St. James' Gazette", Dec. 15, 1883) that a mural tablet has been erected

to his memory in the chapel, which is now known as the 'Free Christian

Church.') my taste for natural history, and more especially for collecting,

was well developed. I tried to make out the names of plants (Rev. W.A.

Leighton, who was a schoolfellow of my father's at Mr. Case's school,

remembers his bringing a flower to school and saying that his mother had

taught him how by looking at the inside of the blossom the name of the

plant could be discovered. Mr. Leighton goes on, "This greatly roused

my attention and curiosity, and I enquired of him repeatedly how this

could be done?"--but his lesson was naturally enough not transmissible.--

F.D.), and collected all sorts of things, shells, seals, franks, coins, and

minerals. The passion for collecting which leads a man to be a

systematic naturalist, a virtuoso, or a miser, was very strong in me, and

was clearly innate, as none of my sisters or brother ever had this taste.

One little event during this year has fixed itself very firmly in my mind,

and I hope that it has done so from my conscience having been afterwards

sorely troubled by it; it is curious as showing that apparently I was

interested at this early age in the variability of plants! I told another little

boy (I believe it was Leighton, who afterwards became a well-known

lichenologist and botanist), that I could produce variously coloured

polyanthuses and primroses by watering them with certain coloured fluids,

which was of course a monstrous fable, and had never been tried by me.

I may here also confess that as a little boy I was much given to inventing

deliberate falsehoods, and this was always done for the sake of causing

excitement. For instance, I once gathered much valuable fruit from my

The Autobiography of Charles Darwin

father's trees and hid it in the shrubbery, and then ran in breathless haste to

spread the news that I had discovered a hoard of stolen fruit.

I must have been a very simple little fellow when I first went to the

school. A boy of the name of Garnett took me into a cake shop one day,

and bought some cakes for which he did not pay, as the shopman trusted

him. When we came out I asked him why he did not pay for them, and

he instantly answered, "Why, do you not know that my uncle left a great

sum of money to the town on condition that every tradesman should give

whatever was wanted without payment to any one who wore his old hat

and moved [it] in a particular manner?" and he then showed me how it

was moved. He then went into another shop where he was trusted, and

asked for some small article, moving his hat in the proper manner, and of

course obtained it without payment. When we came out he said, "Now if

you like to go by yourself into that cake-shop (how well I remember its

exact position) I will lend you my hat, and you can get whatever you like

if you move the hat on your head properly." I gladly accepted the

generous offer, and went in and asked for some cakes, moved the old hat

and was walking out of the shop, when the shopman made a rush at me, so

I dropped the cakes and ran for dear life, and was astonished by being

greeted with shouts of laughter by my false friend Garnett.

I can say in my own favour that I was as a boy humane, but I owed

this entirely to the instruction and example of my sisters. I doubt indeed

whether humanity is a natural or innate quality. I was very fond of

collecting eggs, but I never took more than a single egg out of a bird's nest,

except on one single occasion, when I took all, not for their value, but

from a sort of bravado.

I had a strong taste for angling, and would sit for any number of hours

on the bank of a river or pond watching the float; when at Maer (The

house of his uncle, Josiah Wedgwood.) I was told that I could kill the

worms with salt and water, and from that day I never spitted a living worm,

though at the expense probably of some loss of success.

Once as a very little boy whilst at the day school, or before that time, I

acted cruelly, for I beat a puppy, I believe, simply from enjoying the sense

of power; but the beating could not have been severe, for the puppy did

The Autobiography of Charles Darwin

not howl, of which I feel sure, as the spot was near the house. This act

lay heavily on my conscience, as is shown by my remembering the exact

spot where the crime was committed. It probably lay all the heavier from

my love of dogs being then, and for a long time afterwards, a passion.

Dogs seemed to know this, for I was an adept in robbing their love from

their masters.

I remember clearly only one other incident during this year whilst at

Mr. Case's daily school,--namely, the burial of a dragoon soldier; and it is

surprising how clearly I can still see the horse with the man's empty boots

and carbine suspended to the saddle, and the firing over the grave. This

scene deeply stirred whatever poetic fancy there was in me.

In the summer of 1818 I went to Dr. Butler's great school in

Shrewsbury, and remained there for seven years still Midsummer 1825,

when I was sixteen years old. I boarded at this school, so that I had the

great advantage of living the life of a true schoolboy; but as the distance

was hardly more than a mile to my home, I very often ran there in the

longer intervals between the callings over and before locking up at night.

This, I think, was in many ways advantageous to me by keeping up home

affections and interests. I remember in the early part of my school life

that I often had to run very quickly to be in time, and from being a fleet

runner was generally successful; but when in doubt I prayed earnestly to

God to help me, and I well remember that I attributed my success to the

prayers and not to my quick running, and marvelled how generally I was

aided.

I have heard my father and elder sister say that I had, as a very young

boy, a strong taste for long solitary walks; but what I thought about I know

not. I often became quite absorbed, and once, whilst returning to school

on the summit of the old fortifications round Shrewsbury, which had been

converted into a public foot-path with no parapet on one side, I walked off

and fell to the ground, but the height was only seven or eight feet.

Nevertheless the number of thoughts which passed through my mind

during this very short, but sudden and wholly unexpected fall, was

astonishing, and seem hardly compatible with what physiologists have, I

believe, proved about each thought requiring quite an appreciable amount

The Autobiography of Charles Darwin

of time.

Nothing could have been worse for the development of my mind than

Dr. Butler's school, as it was strictly classical, nothing else being taught,

except a little ancient geography and history. The school as a means of

education to me was simply a blank. During my whole life I have been

singularly incapable of mastering any language. Especial attention was

paid to verse-making, and this I could never do well. I had many friends,

and got together a good collection of old verses, which by patching

together, sometimes aided by other boys, I could work into any subject.

Much attention was paid to learning by heart the lessons of the previous

day; this I could effect with great facility, learning forty or fifty lines of

Virgil or Homer, whilst I was in morning chapel; but this exercise was

utterly useless, for every verse was forgotten in forty-eight hours. I was

not idle, and with the exception of versification, generally worked

conscientiously at my classics, not using cribs. The sole pleasure I ever

received from such studies, was from some of the odes of Horace, which I

admired greatly.

When I left the school I was for my age neither high nor low in it; and

I believe that I was considered by all my masters and by my father as a

very ordinary boy, rather below the common standard in intellect. To my

deep mortification my father once said to me, "You care for nothing but

shooting, dogs, and rat- catching, and you will be a disgrace to yourself

and all your family." But my father, who was the kindest man I ever

knew and whose memory I love with all my heart, must have been angry

and somewhat unjust when he used such words.

Looking back as well as I can at my character during my school life,

the only qualities which at this period promised well for the future, were,

that I had strong and diversified tastes, much zeal for whatever interested

me, and a keen pleasure in understanding any complex subject or thing. I

was taught Euclid by a private tutor, and I distinctly remember the intense

satisfaction which the clear geometrical proofs gave me. I remember,

with equal distinctness, the delight which my uncle gave me (the father of

Francis Galton) by explaining the principle of the vernier of a barometer.

with respect to diversified tastes, independently of science, I was fond of

The Autobiography of Charles Darwin

reading various books, and I used to sit for hours reading the historical

plays of Shakespeare, generally in an old window in the thick walls of the

school. I read also other poetry, such as Thomson's 'Seasons,' and the

recently published poems of Byron and Scott. I mention this because

later in life I wholly lost, to my great regret, all pleasure from poetry of

any kind, including Shakespeare. In connection with pleasure from

poetry, I may add that in 1822 a vivid delight in scenery was first

awakened in my mind, during a riding tour on the borders of Wales, and

this has lasted longer than any other aesthetic pleasure.

Early in my school days a boy had a copy of the 'Wonders of the

World,' which I often read, and disputed with other boys about the veracity

of some of the statements; and I believe that this book first gave me a wish

to travel in remote countries, which was ultimately fulfilled by the voyage

of the "Beagle". In the latter part of my school life I became passionately

fond of shooting; I do not believe that any one could have shown more

zeal for the most holy cause than I did for shooting birds. How well I

remember killing my first snipe, and my excitement was so great that I had

much difficulty in reloading my gun from the trembling of my hands.

This taste long continued, and I became a very good shot. When at

Cambridge I used to practise throwing up my gun to my shoulder before a

looking-glass to see that I threw it up straight. Another and better plan

was to get a friend to wave about a lighted candle, and then to fire at it

with a cap on the nipple, and if the aim was accurate the little puff of air

would blow out the candle. The explosion of the cap caused a sharp

crack, and I was told that the tutor of the college remarked, "What an

extraordinary thing it is, Mr. Darwin seems to spend hours in cracking a

horse-whip in his room, for I often hear the crack when I pass under his

windows."

I had many friends amongst the schoolboys, whom I loved dearly, and

I think that my disposition was then very affectionate.

With respect to science, I continued collecting minerals with much

zeal, but quite unscientifically--all that I cared about was a new-NAMED

mineral, and I hardly attempted to classify them. I must have observed

insects with some little care, for when ten years old (1819) I went for three

The Autobiography of Charles Darwin

weeks to Plas Edwards on the sea-coast in Wales, I was very much

interested and surprised at seeing a large black and scarlet Hemipterous

insect, many moths (Zygaena), and a Cicindela which are not found in

Shropshire. I almost made up my mind to begin collecting all the insects

which I could find dead, for on consulting my sister I concluded that it

was not right to kill insects for the sake of making a collection. From

reading White's 'Selborne,' I took much pleasure in watching the habits of

birds, and even made notes on the subject. In my simplicity I remember

wondering why every gentleman did not become an ornithologist.

Towards the close of my school life, my brother worked hard at

chemistry, and made a fair laboratory with proper apparatus in the tool-

house in the garden, and I was allowed to aid him as a servant in most of

his experiments. He made all the gases and many compounds, and I read

with great care several books on chemistry, such as Henry and Parkes'

'Chemical Catechism.' The subject interested me greatly, and we often

used to go on working till rather late at night. This was the best part of

my education at school, for it showed me practically the meaning of

experimental science. The fact that we worked at chemistry somehow

got known at school, and as it was an unprecedented fact, I was

nicknamed "Gas." I was also once publicly rebuked by the head-master,

Dr. Butler, for thus wasting my time on such useless subjects; and he

called me very unjustly a "poco curante," and as I did not understand what

he meant, it seemed to me a fearful reproach.

As I was doing no good at school, my father wisely took me away at a

rather earlier age than usual, and sent me (Oct. 1825) to Edinburgh

University with my brother, where I stayed for two years or sessions. My

brother was completing his medical studies, though I do not believe he

ever really intended to practise, and I was sent there to commence them.

But soon after this period I became convinced from various small

circumstances that my father would leave me property enough to subsist

on with some comfort, though I never imagined that I should be so rich a

man as I am; but my belief was sufficient to check any strenuous efforts to

learn medicine.

The instruction at Edinburgh was altogether by lectures, and these

The Autobiography of Charles Darwin

were intolerably dull, with the exception of those on chemistry by Hope;

but to my mind there are no advantages and many disadvantages in

lectures compared with reading. Dr. Duncan's lectures on Materia

Medica at 8 o'clock on a winter's morning are something fearful to

remember. Dr.-- made his lectures on human anatomy as dull as he was

himself, and the subject disgusted me. It has proved one of the greatest

evils in my life that I was not urged to practise dissection, for I should

soon have got over my disgust; and the practice would have been

invaluable for all my future work. This has been an irremediable evil, as

well as my incapacity to draw. I also attended regularly the clinical

wards in the hospital. Some of the cases distressed me a good deal, and I

still have vivid pictures before me of some of them; but I was not so

foolish as to allow this to lessen my attendance. I cannot understand why

this part of my medical course did not interest me in a greater degree; for

during the summer before coming to Edinburgh I began attending some of

the poor people, chiefly children and women in Shrewsbury: I wrote

down as full an account as I could of the case with all the symptoms, and

read them aloud to my father, who suggested further inquiries and advised

me what medicines to give, which I made up myself. At one time I had

at least a dozen patients, and I felt a keen interest in the work. My father,

who was by far the best judge of character whom I ever knew, declared

that I should make a successful physician,--meaning by this one who

would get many patients. He maintained that the chief element of

success was exciting confidence; but what he saw in me which convinced

him that I should create confidence I know not. I also attended on two

occasions the operating theatre in the hospital at Edinburgh, and saw two

very bad operations, one on a child, but I rushed away before they were

completed. Nor did I ever attend again, for hardly any inducement would

have been strong enough to make me do so; this being long before the

blessed days of chloroform. The two cases fairly haunted me for many a

long year.

My brother stayed only one year at the University, so that during the

second year I was left to my own resources; and this was an advantage, for

I became well acquainted with several young men fond of natural science.

The Autobiography of Charles Darwin

One of these was Ainsworth, who afterwards published his travels in

Assyria; he was a Wernerian geologist, and knew a little about many

subjects. Dr. Coldstream was a very different young man, prim, formal,

highly religious, and most kind-hearted; he afterwards published some

good zoological articles. A third young man was Hardie, who would, I

think, have made a good botanist, but died early in India. Lastly, Dr.

Grant, my senior by several years, but how I became acquainted with him

I cannot remember; he published some first- rate zoological papers, but

after coming to London as Professor in University College, he did nothing

more in science, a fact which has always been inexplicable to me. I

knew him well; he was dry and formal in manner, with much enthusiasm

beneath this outer crust. He one day, when we were walking together,

burst forth in high admiration of Lamarck and his views on evolution. I

listened in silent astonishment, and as far as I can judge without any effect

on my mind. I had previously read the 'Zoonomia' of my grandfather, in

which similar views are maintained, but without producing any effect on

me. Nevertheless it is probable that the hearing rather early in life such

views maintained and praised may have favoured my upholding them

under a different form in my 'Origin of Species.' At this time I admired

greatly the 'Zoonomia;' but on reading it a second time after an interval of

ten or fifteen years, I was much disappointed; the proportion of

speculation being so large to the facts given.

Drs. Grant and Coldstream attended much to marine Zoology, and I

often accompanied the former to collect animals in the tidal pools, which I

dissected as well as I could. I also became friends with some of the

Newhaven fishermen, and sometimes accompanied them when they

trawled for oysters, and thus got many specimens. But from not having

had any regular practice in dissection, and from possessing only a

wretched microscope, my attempts were very poor. Nevertheless I made

one interesting little discovery, and read, about the beginning of the year

1826, a short paper on the subject before the Plinian Society. This was

that the so-called ova of Flustra had the power of independent movement

by means of cilia, and were in fact larvae. In another short paper I

showed that the little globular bodies which had been supposed to be the

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