
Ben Bova The Cafe Coup The more things change, the more they stay the same.
Or do they? Two time travelers will find out for themselves in the latest
story from the prolific author of Mars, Brothers, and many other novels and
works of nonfiction. Paris was not friendly to Americans in the soft
springtime of 1922. The French didn't care much for the English, either, and
they hated the victorious Germans, of course. I couldn't blame them very
much. The Great War had been over for more than three years, yet Paris had
still not recovered its gaiety, its light and color, despite the hordes of
boisterous German tourists who spent so freely on the boulevards. More likely,
because of them. I sat in one of the crowded sidewalk cafes beneath a
splendid warm sun, waiting for my lovely wife to show up. Because of all the
Germans, I was forced to share my minuscule round table with a tall, gaunt
Frenchman who looked me over with suspicious eyes. "You are an American?" he
asked, looking down his prominent nose at me. His accent was worse than mine,
certainly not Parisian. "No," I answered truthfully. Then I lied, "I'm from
New Zealand." It was as far away in distance as my real birthplace was in
time. "Ah," he said with an exhalation of breath that was somewhere between a
sigh and a snort. "Your countrymen fought well at Gallipoli. Were you
there?" "No," I said. "I was too young." That apparently puzzled him.
Obviously I was of an age to fight in the Great War. But in fact, I hadn't
been born when the British Empire troops were decimated at Gallipoli. I hadn't
been born in the twentieth century at all. "Were you in the war?" I asked
needlessly. "But certainly. To the very last moment I fought the Boche." "It
was a great tragedy." "The Americans betrayed us," he muttered. My brows
rose a few millimeters. He was quite tall for a Frenchman, but painfully thin.
Half starved. Even his eyes looked hungry. The inflation, of course. It cost a
basketful of francs, literally, to buy a loaf of bread. I wondered how he
could afford the price of an aperitif. Despite the warm afternoon he had
wrapped himself in a shabby old leather coat, worn shiny at the elbows. From
what I could see there were hardly any Frenchmen in the cafe; mostly raucous
Germans roaring with laughter and heartily pounding on the little tables as
they bellowed for more beer. To my amazement, the waiters had learned to speak
German. "Wilson," my companion continued bitterly. "He had the gall to speak
of Lafayette." "I thought that the American president was the one who
arranged the armistice." "Yes, with his fourteen points. Fourteen daggers
plunged into the heart of France." "Really?" "The Americans should have
entered the war on our side! Instead they sat idly by and watched us bleed to
death while their bankers extorted every gram of gold we possessed." "But the
Americans had no reason to go to war," I protested mildly. "France needed
them! When their pitiful little colonies rebelled against the British lion,
France was the only nation to come to their aid. They owe their existence to
France, yet when we needed them they turned their backs on us." That was
largely my fault, although he didn't know it. I averted the sinking of the
Lusitania by the German U-boat. It took enormous energies, but my darling wife
arranged it so that the Lusitania was crawling along at a mere five knots that
fateful morning. I convinced Lieutenant Walther Schwieger, skipper of the
U-20, that it was safe enough to surface and hold the British liner captive
with the deck gun while a boarding party searched for the ammunition that I
knew the English had stored aboard her. The entire affair was handled with
great tact and honor. No shots were fired, no lives were lost, and the 123
American passengers arrived safely in Liverpool with glowing stories of how
correct, how chivalrous, the German U-boat sailors had been. America remained
neutral throughout the Great War. Indeed, a good deal of anti-British
sentiment swept the United States, especially the midwest, when their
newspapers reported that the British were transporting military contraband in
secret and thus risking the lives of American passengers. "Well," I said,
beckoning to the waiter for two more Pernods, "the war is over and we must
face the future as best we can." "Yes," said my companion gloomily. "I
agree." One group of burly Germans was being particularly obnoxious, singing
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