
The Perks come from the third planet of a G class system in the region of Betelgeuse, where they live
in warrens, underground, which is perhaps why they took so readily to the tunnels of Plenty. There may
be something endemic to the more ferocious subterranean dweller about suspicion, aggression, an
unquestioning pack instinct backed up by heedless hostility to all outsiders. Leaving the deep hearth for
whatever reason, hunger, duty, sexual imperatives, you trot along the lightless, complicated corridors of
the buried labyrinth, their ambient odour a composite of you and all your kin. Suddenly you hear the
scrabble of claws coming in the opposite direction. Friend, foe, relative, rival? Behind you lie your
siblings, perhaps your own offspring, curled and mewing, tender in the warm dark. What option have you
in that moment of social uncertainty but to bare your teeth, to ready your claws?
At any rate, it seems to be so for the Perks. There is nothing Perks like so much as a good fight.
When the time came for civilisation on the planet of the Perks, they built war-trains, undermining engines,
mole bombs. It is unclear what motivated Capella to bestow the space drive on the little rodents. In all
possibility the Perks merely infested their own elusive craft, following their urge to burrow into whatever
comes along.
Tabitha lost all patience with them. She could see her goal ahead of her, so close she was practically
inside. She had struggled halfway across Schiaparelli to get there. She was not about to stop and engage
in a scrap on the very doorstep of the bar. Nor was she about to lose her jacket to a gaggle of
overdressed hooligans. With a yell she thrust herself at their leader.
The neck of the Perk is very long. It accounts for the curious, rather comical way they have of
standing perfectly upright and perfectly still while surveying their surroundings with a quick 240o swivel,
like a furry periscope. Tabitha seized her chief aggressor by the neck with both hands. She swept him off
his feet as the forward momentum of her lunge carried her upright, shedding Perks left and right with a
shake of her shoulders.
All might still have gone well. Or ill, depending on your view of all that happened in consequence. But
Tabitha’s blood was up. She flung the choking, clawing creature from her. She flung him into the Grand
Canal.
“Cheeeeeeee—!”
Instinctively drawing in his limbs and curling his long back, the Perk sailed out of her grasp and over
the edge of the steps like a furry stone in a leather jerkin. Horrorstruck for the instant, his cronies stood
and squawled with outrage. Spectators and bystanders on the canal bank turned and stared, not knowing
what it was that had flashed past them, hurtling towards the water. The filthy, carmine, oily water. The
water he never actually hit.
For at that moment, directly below the steps that led down to the Moebius Strip, the float of dummy
Capellans was purring serenely by.
Tabitha watched in diminishing triumph and mounting dismay as the Perk fell through the smoky air
and struck one of the huge statues directly on the head. With a crack audible above the gasp of the
crowd, the impact smashed a large hole in the fabric of the great white dome. Knocked from its invisible
supporting cradle of needle-thin tractor beams, the effigy swayed. It bowed its ruined head to its chest as
if to inspect the squealing assailant now hanging from its buckled shoulder with frantic claws. It swayed,
and continued to sway. Its arm fell off, clattering to the deck with the Perk still clinging to it. Its
benevolently smiling head fell off and bounced with a sickening crunch from the beam projector into
another of the statues, knocking it off the deck of the float and into the canal. Meanwhile, breaking apart
like a toppling chimneystack, its body collapsed and felled another, which threw up an arm as it went
down, as if thinking to save itself by grabbing hold of one of its remaining upright companions.
There was no hope it could save itself; nor any for Tabitha either. Standing staring appalled at the
devastation she had caused, she became aware that the Perks had not instantly attacked her in retaliation
for their leader’s ignominious defeat. Indeed, they had melted away into the crowd. The hand that fell
upon her arm was a paw; but not a tiny black-clawed paw, a hefty one with silky blue fur protruding
from the sleeve of a night-black uniform.