
only because to leave it was unthinkable. On the long marches, out to India
and back to Persia and down to Babylon, wherever the King pitched camp her
baggage wagons had unpacked the wicker screens which had made her a traveling
courtyard, so that she could leave her covered wagon and take the air. In the
cities she had her curtained litter, her latticed balconies. All this was not
her sentence but her right; it was only whores whom men displayed. Now, when
the unprecedented happened, to lay hands on her was inconceivable. Guided by
her trembling eunuch, her progress followed by astonished eyes, she swept
through corridors, courtyards, anterooms, till she reached the Bedchamber. It
was the first time she had entered it; or, for that matter, his own
sleeping-place anywhere else. He had never summoned her to his bed, only gone
to hers. It was the custom of the Greeks, so he had told her. She paused in
the tall doorway, seeing the high cedar ceiling, the daimon-guarded bed. It
was like a hall of audience. Generals, physicians, chamberlains, stupid with
surprise, stood back as she made her way to him. The heaped pillows that
propped him upright gave him still the illusion of authority. His closed eyes,
his parted and gasping mouth, seemed like a willed withdrawal. She could not
be in his presence without believing that everything was still under his
control. "Sikandar!" she cried, slipping back into her native dialect.
"Sikandar!" His eyelids, creased and bloodless in sunken sockets, moved
faintly but did not open. The thin skin tightened, as if to shut out a harsh
glare of sun. She saw that his lips were cracked and dry; the deep scar in his
side, from the wound he had got in India, stretched and shrank with his
laboring breath. "Sikandar, Sikandar!" she cried aloud. She grasped him by
the arm. He took a deeper breath, and choked on it. Someone leaned over with
a towel, and wiped bloody froth from his lips. He did not open his eyes. As
if she had known nothing till now, a cold dagger of realization stabbed her.
He was gone out of reach; he would no longer direct her journeys. He would
decide nothing, ever again; would never tell her what she had come to ask. For
her, for the child within her, he was already dead. She began to wail, like a
mourner over a bier, clawing her face, beating her breast, tearing at her
clothes, shaking her disheveled hair. She flung herself forward, her arms
across the bed, burying her face in the sheet, hardly aware of the hot, still
living flesh beneath it. Someone was speaking; a light, young voice, the voice
of a eunuch. "He can hear all this; it troubles him." There was a strong
grasp on her shoulders, pulling her back. She might have recognized Ptolemy,
from the triumphs and processions seen from her lattices; but she was looking
across the bed, perceiving who had spoken. She would have guessed, even if she
had not seen him once in India, gliding down the Indus on Alexander's
flagship, dressed in the brilliant stuffs of Taxila, scarlet and gold. It was
the hated Persian boy, familiar of this room she had never entered; he, too, a
custom of the Greeks, though her husband had never told her so. His menial
clothes, his haggard exhausted face, conceded nothing. No longer desirable, he
had become commanding. Generals and satraps and captains, whose obedience
should be to her, who should be rousing the King to answer her, to name his
heir-they listened, submissive, to this dancing-boy. As for her, she was an
intrusion. She cursed him with her eyes, but already his attention was
withdrawn from her, as he beckoned a slave to take the bloodstained towel, and
checked the clean pile beside him. Ptolemy's hard hands released her; the
hands of her attendants, gentle, supplicating, insistent, guided her towards
the door. Someone picked up her veil from the bed and threw it over her. Back
in her own room, she flung herself down in a furious storm of weeping,
pummeling and biting the cushions of her divan. Her ladies, when they dared
speak to her, implored her to spare herself, lest the child miscarry. This
brought her to herself; she called for mare's milk and figs, which she chiefly
craved for lately. Dark fell; she tossed on her bed. At length, dry-eyed, she
got up, and paced to and fro in the moon-dappled courtyard, where the fountain
murmured like a conspirator in the hot Babylonian night. Once she felt the
child move strongly. Laying her hands over the place, she whispered, "Quiet,
my little king. I promise you... I promise..." She went back to bed, and fell
Generated by ABC Amber LIT Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abclit.html