Billy Pilgrim has come unstuck in time.
Billy has gone to sleep a senile widower and awakened on his wedding day. He has walked
through a door in 1955 and come out another one in 1941. He has gone back through that door to
find himself in 1963. He has seen his birth and death many times, he says, and pays random visits
to all the events in between.
He says.
Billy is spastic in time, has no control over where he is going next, and the trips aren't
necessarily fun. He is 'm a constant state of stage fright, he says, because he never knows what
part of his life he is going to have to act in next.
Billy was bon in 1922 in Ilium, New York, the only child of a barber there. He was a funny-
looking child who became a funny-looking youth-tall and weak, and shaped like a bottle of Coca-
Cola. He graduated from Ilium High School in the upper third of his class, and attended night
sessions at the Ilium School of Optometry for one semester before being drafted for military
service in the Second World War. His father died in a hunting accident during the war. So it
goes.
Billy saw service with the infantry in Europe, and was taken prisoner by the Germans. After
his honorable discharge from the Army in 1945, Billy again enrolled in the Ilium School of
Optometry. During his senior year there, he became engaged to the daughter of the founder and
owner of the school, and then suffered a mild nervous collapse.
He was treated in a veterans' hospital near Lake Placid, and was given shock treatments and
released. He married his fiancée, finished his education, and was set up in business in Ilium by
his father-in-law. Ilium is a particularly good city for optometrists because the General Forge
and Foundry Company is there. Every employee is required to own a pair of safety glasses, and to
wear them in areas where manufacturing is going on. GF&F has sixty-eight thousand employees in
Ilium. That calls for a lot of lenses and a lot of frames.
Frames are where the money is.
Bill became rich. He had two children, Barbara and Robert. In time, his daughter Barbara
married another optometrist., and Billy set him up in business. Billy's son Robert had a lot of
trouble in high school, but then he joined the famous Green Berets. He straightened out, became a
fine Young man, and he fought in Vietnam.
Early in 1968, a group of optometrists, with Billy among them, chartered an airplane to fly
them from Ilium to an international convention of optometrists in Montreal. The plane crashed on
top of Sugarbush Mountain, in Vermont. Everybody was killed but Billy. So it goes.
While Billy was recuperating in a hospital in Vermont, his wife died accidentally of carbon-
monoxide poisoning. So it goes.
When Billy finally got home to Ilium after the airplane crash, he was quiet for a while. He
had a terrible scar across the top Of his skull. He didn't resume practice. He had a
housekeeper. His daughter came over almost every day.
And then, without any warning, Billy went to New York City, and got on an all-night radio
program devoted to talk. He told about having come unstuck in time. He said, too, that he had
been kidnapped by a flying saucer in 1967. The saucer was from the planet Tralfamadore, he said.
He was taken to Tralfamadore, where he was displayed naked in a zoo, he said. He was mated there
with a former Earthling movie star named Montana Wildhack.
Some night owls in Ilium heard Billy on the radio, and one of them called Billy's daughter
Barbara. Barbara was upset. She and her husband went down to New York and brought Billy home.
Billy insisted mildly that everything he had said on the radio was true. He said he had been
kidnapped by the Tralfamadorians on the night of his daughter's wedding. He hadn't been missed, he
said, because the Tralfamadorians had taken him through a time warp, so that he could be on
Tralfamadore for years, and still be away from Earth for only a microsecond.
Another month went by without incident, and then Billy wrote a letter to the Ilium News
Leader, which the paper published. It described the creatures from Tralfamadore.
The letter said that they were two feet high, and green., and shaped like plumber's friends.
Their suction cups were on the ground, and their shafts, which were extremely flexible, usually
pointed to the sky. At the top of each shaft was a little hand with a green eye in its palm. The
creatures were friendly, and they could see in four dimensions. They pitied Earthlings for being
able to see only three. They had many wonderful things to teach Earthlings, especially about time.
Billy promised to tell what some of those wonderful things were in his next letter.
Billy was working on his second letter when the first letter was published. The second letter
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