Piers Anthony - Xanth 16 -Demons don' t Dream

1

COMPANION

Dug was exasperated. "Forget it, Ed! I'm not interested in any silly computer

game. They all claim to be so easy to play and so exciting, and every one of

them has a squintillion stupid things you have to do just to get started, and

then the games are just awkward figures on painted backdrops, and you have the

May-I syndrome."

"The whatr

"You know. No matter what you do, you get an error message and you have to

start over, because you forgot to say 'May I?' or something just as idiotic

before you did it. Computers are great at that. They figure you're supposed to

know everything before you start, and they're going to make you do it over and

over until you finally figure out what they want, by which time you're sick of

it all. I don't want to waste my time."

But his friend Edsel had the annoying fault of being too persistent. 'Til bet

I can find you a game you'll really like. No May-I syndrome. No dull

backdrops. Real adven-

2 PIERS ANTHONY

ture. Something you'll get into easy and never want to leave."

"And I'll bet you can't There is no such game, because real people don't

program them, just computer scientists who lost touch with reality decades

ago."

"It's a bet," Ed said immediately. "What're the stakes?"

Dug refused to take it seriously. "My girlfriend against your motorcycle."

"Done! I always liked your girlfriend anyway. Give me a week to get the game

in, and you can kiss her goodbye meanwhile."

"Hey, I wasn't really—" Dug protested. But Edsel was gone. Oh, well. It wasn't

as if there was any real risk. Dug wouldn't take his friend's motorcycle

anyway.

Now it was time to get into his homework. So he called Pia instead. "Hey, I

just made a bet with Ed. The stakes are you against his motorcycle."

She laughed. "You better hope you lose, because that cycle needs work."

"I know. I won't really take it."

"But he'll really take me if you lose. He likes me."

Suddenly Dug was nervous. "You mean, if—you'd—T

"A bet's a bet, Dug. You have to make good on it. You know that." She hung up.

Shaken, he stared at his unopened books. She had hardly seemed surprised, and

not at all annoyed. Had he been set up?

It didn't take a week; Edsel had the game Saturday morning. "You crank this

into your computer, and call me when you're sick of it. If you don't call in

an hour, I'm calling Pia for a date, because I'll know I won."

"Aren't you going to stay and help me get the thing loaded? You know it's

going to take time just to—"

"Nan. The bet is that you can do it yourself, with no hassle, and you'll

really like it. So if I'm right, you won't need me at all, or care that I'm

not around. If I'm wrong, you'll be on the phone within an hour to let me

know."

DEMONS DON'T DREAM 3

"Half hour, more likely," Dug said grimly.

"Whatever. So try it and find out." Ed departed.

He seemed so sure of himself! But Dug had never met a computer program he

liked, other than the one that blanked the screen after five minutes, and he

seriously doubted that he would like this one. But if it was easy-loading,

he'd give it a fair try, and still be on time with the phone call.

He looked at the package as he went upstairs to his room. COMPANIONS OF XANTH.

This appeared to be a silly fantasy setting, exactly the kind Dug didn't much

tike. How could Ed think he'd go for this, even if it wasn't too hard to get

going? Then he looked again. There was a picture of a young woman of truly

comely face and figure, in an outfit resembling the sinuous contours of a

serpent. Wouldn't it be something to meet a creature like that! Maybe she was

the inducement; they figured that some poor sap like him would buy the game in

the hope that she was in it. If she was, it would be only as an animated flat

picture. A ripoff in spirit if not in technicality.

He settled himself by his computer table and turned the system on. While it

wanned up and went through its ritual initial checks and balances, he opened

the package. There were no instructions, just a disk. There wasn't even the

usual warning note forbidding anyone to copy it. Just the words INSERT DISK—

TYPE A:\XANTH-TOUCH ENTER. He had to admit that was simple.

He inserted the disk, typed the mysterious word, and touched ENTER. There was

a momentary swirl on the

-: screen. Then a little man appeared, almost a cartoon figure. The figure

looked at Dug and spoke. His words ap-

•. peared in type in a speech balloon above his head. "Hi! I'm Grundy Golem.

I'm from the Land of Xanth, and I speak your language. I'm your temporary

Companion. If you don't like me you can get rid of me in just a minute. But

first listen a bit, okay? Because I'm here to take your hand and lead you

through the preliminaries without con-

; fusion. Any questions you have, you just ask me. You do

4 PIERS ANTHONY

that by touching the Q key, or clicking the right side on your mouse. So go

ahead—ask."

Why not? Dug touched Q.

There was a ding. A huge human finger appeared and nudged Gnmdy on the

shoulder so hard that he stumbled to the side. "Hey, not so hard!" Dug had to

smile. "Okay, so you have a question. You have one of those primitive Mundane

keyboards, right? So you have two ways to do it You can type the question so I

can see it, or you can touch ENTER and it will bring up me list of the ten

most common questions at this stage. Then you can use your arrow keys to

highlight the question you want, and touch ENTER again, or just shortcut it by

typing the number of the question you want I'll wait while you decide. If you

want me to resume without waiting, touch ESCAPE." Grundy took a step back,

twiddling his tiny thumbs.

Dug found himself intrigued despite his cynicism. He touched ENTER.

Grundy reached down and caught hold of a bit of string at the bottom of the

screen. He pulled it up, and a scroll of print unrolled. There were numbered

questions.

1. HOW DO I GET OUT OF THIS CRAZY GAME?

2. HOW CAN I SHORTCUT TO THE ACTION?

3. WHO IS THAT CREATURE ON THE COVER?

4. CAN I GET MY MONEY BACK IF I QUIT NOW?

5. HOW DO I GET A BETTER COMPANION?

6. HOW DO I SAVE MY PLACE SO I CAN TAKE A PEE BREAK AND PICK UP WHERE I LEFT

OFF?

7. WHAT MAKES YOU THINK THIS GAME IS SO GREAT?

8. CAN A FRIEND PLAY TOO?

9. WHAT'S THE PRIZE FOR WINNING?

DEMONS DON'T DREAM 5

O. HOW MANY PRINTED QUESTIONS ARE THERE, AND CAN I CALL THEM UP ANYTIME?

Dug smiled. It seemed they had had some player input He touched 0, which he

took to be 10; he realized mat it couldn't be listed as 10 because when a

player touched the 1 it would take him to 1 without giving him a chance to

complete the number. That was one of the things computers did: pretending not

to know what the player really wanted.

The question highlighted. Grundy came* to life. "There are a hundred questions

hi this edition of the Companions of Xanth Game, and mere may be more in

future editions as we get more player feedback. You can call up the list

anytime by touching HELP and paging down. For two-digit numbers you can hold

down the first number while you touch the second, and both digits will

register. But it's probably easier just to ask me."

It probably was. But Dug decided to play with the list a bit more. The

questions were still on the scroll. So he touched 1.

Grundy animated again. "To quit this game, touch ALT ESCAPE and turn off the

set. But I hope you don't quit yet; you haven't given us a fair chance. We

hardly know you."

They hardly knew him? As if they were real and he was a mocked-up player! That

seemed arrogant. But also intriguing. Dug touched 2. "To shortcut directly to

the action, touch SHIFT ESCAPE. But I strongly advise against this, because

mere's more you have to do, like checking in, and you'll be stuck with me as

your Companion. Once you know the ropes, you can skip this whole scene, but

please don't do it this time,"

Fair enough. So far mere had been no confusion, and he had not yet gotten into

the game proper. He could skip ahead and look at it, but it made sense to give

the Golem his chance. He touched 3.

6 PIERS ANTHONY

"That creature on the cover is Nada Naga, Xanth's most luscious eligible

princess. She is one of the available Companions." Grundy cocked an eye at

him. "Maybe it's time you asked about Companions, if that isn't clear yet"

So Dug typed WHAT ABOUT COMPANIONS?

"I'm so glad you asked about Companions!" Grundy said. "That is of course the

name of this game, and the main thing that distinguishes it from others. In

this game you are never left to flounder helplessly, guessing at the

procedures. You have a Companion to guide you through. Anything you need to

know, you can ask your Companion, and if he (or she, if you select a female)

doesn't know the answer, he'll give you a responsive guess. He will also warn

you when you are going wrong, and in general be a true friend to you. You can

trust your Companion absolutely—except for one thing. Touch Y or ENTER if you

want to know about that one thing."

Dug was tempted to touch the ESCAPE key instead, but was hooked. So he touched

ENTER.

"That is smart of you," Grundy said. "You see, your Companion is your truest

friend, ordinarily. But there is one chance in seven that he will be a False

Companion. That one will pretend to be your friend, but will lead you into

mischief and doom. So if you get that one, you must be wary, and not take his

bad advice. Unfortunately, there is no obvious way to tell a Fair Companion

from a False Companion, because they look and act the same—until some key

point in the game, when the False Companion will betray you. You must judge

only by assessing the quality of the advice you are given, and recognizing bad

advice. If you are able to identify your False Companion, you can not exchange

him for another; once you choose your Companion, you are stuck with him

throughout the game. You can ask him to go away, but then you will be alone in

the game without guidance and are likely to get eaten by a dragon, or suffer

some worse fate. It is better to keep him with you, but to be wary of him. It

is possible

DEMONS DON'T DREAM 7

to win the game with a False Companion, just a lot more difficult."

The Golem paused, so Dug typed in a related query. SUPPOSE I JUST QUIT THE

GAME, AND COME BACK NEW?

"If you try to leave the game and return, so as to get a new Companion, you

will find that the layout of the game has changed, so that not only are you

not certain whether your new Companion is True or False, you are not sure

whether paths which were safe before remain so. If you are well along in the

game, it is better just to continue. But it is your choice, of course."

This warning, rather than turning Dug off, intrigued him. So he could never

quite trust his Companion. That promised a special thrill of excitement that

would not have been there otherwise. He looked at the listed questions, and

touched 9.

'The prize for winning the game, which is not easy to do, is to receive a

magic talent, which will be yours in any future games you play. We do not know

what that talent is, but it will surely be a good one, that will be a great

advantage for you."

Sort of like getting a free pass to another game. Dug shrugged. He didn't care

much about fantasy anyway, so (his wasn't much of an inducement. He was

beginning to get bored with this, so he touched 5.

Grundy frowned. "I was hoping you would decide to stay with me. I can speak

the languages of animals and plants, and learn things that others can not."

Then he smiled. "But maybe you still will choose me. Here are the six other

Companions from which to choose." He pulled up another scroll.

This contained six names: Goody Goblin, Horace Centaur, Jenny Elf, Marrow

Bones, Metria Demoness, and Nada Naga. Dug recognized the last name: the

luscious creature of the cover. He didn't need to check the others. He

highlighted Nada Naga, and her description and a picture appeared.

8 PIERS ANTHONY

NADA NAGA, PRINCESS OF THE NAGA FOLK OF XANTH, WHICH ARE HUMAN/SERPENT

CROSSBREEDS, CAPABLE OF ASSUMING EITHER FORM OR ONE IN BETWEEN. AGE 21,

UNMARRIED, INTELLIGENT, NICE, BEAUTIFUL. ASSETS: MATURITY AND ABILITY TO

ASSUME FIGHTING FORM. LIABILITIES: PRINCESSLY LIMITATIONS.

Being a princess was a liability? Dug had to laugh. He was prepared to cope

with it. What fun it would be to have such a woman as his Companion! Without

hesitation, he touched RETURN.

The picture expanded, and Nada Naga stepped out onto the main screen. "Thank

you, Grundy," she said in a dulcet voice. Actually it was print in a speech

balloon, but Dug could almost hear it. "I shall take it from here."

Grundy sighed and walked off-screen. Nada turned to Dug. "Please introduce

yourself," she said appealingly. "Just type your name and description, so that

I can relate to you."

Eagerly he typed. DUG. MALE. AGE 16. So she was five years older; who cared?

This was only a game.

"Why, hello, Doug," she said. "I am sure we shall get along very well."

Oops. DUG, he typed. NO O. IT'S NOT SHORT FOR DOUGLAS, EITHER. IT'S JUST DUG.

She lifted one dainty hand to her mouth, blushing prettily. "Oh, I apologize,

Dug! Please forgive me."

Actually, if she wanted to call him Doug or Douglas, let her do it. From her

it would sound just great.

NO NEED, he typed quickly. I NEVER MET A PRINCESS BEFORE. It was a game, but

it had become an interesting game, and he wanted to play it for what it was

worth. He realized that he was losing his bet with Edsel, but he no longer

cared. He just wanted to continue playing.

"It is a liability, being a princess," she said. "It was nice of you to select

me anyway. I shall try to be an effective Companion for you."

DEMONS DON'T DREAM 9

I'M SURE YOU WILL BE PERFECT, he typed, speaking the words at the same time,

really getting into it

"Dug, may I give you some advice?" she asked prettily.

"Anything you want," he said, his fingers flying to keep the pace.

"It will be easier if you get into the scene with me. So that we can relate to

each other more readily. Do you know how to do that?"

"I'd love to get into the scene with you," he agreed. "But you're on the

computer screen, and I'm out here in real life." So maybe it was a foolish

business, getting emotionally involved like this, treating her as if she were

a real person, but it was fun. He was amazed at how responsive she was.

"This is true. But though I can not come out to join you, you can in effect

come in to join me. You have to suspend your disbelief a bit, and refocus your

eyes."*

'Til try." He wished he could forget this was a fantasy game, and just live

the fantasy: himself with this lovely woman.

"You see, the screen looks flat to you because you are focusing flat. But if

you will try to focus your eyes on something behind the screen, as if it were

a window to another world, you will find that it becomes rounded. See if you

can do it."

Rounded. She was already so nicely rounded that he hardly cared about the rest

But he obligingly tried to focus his eyes beyond the screen. The image of Nada

fuzzed somewhat; that was all. "I don't see to be getting it," he said.

"See the two dots at the top?" she asked, pointing. Now he saw them, hovering

just above her speech balloon. "Try to make them become three dots. Then you

will be in the right range. It may not happen right away, but once it does,

you will know it**

"Okay," he typed. He was glad that he could do it by touch, so that he could

answer her without taking his eyes from die screen. He refocused his eyes,

trying to make die

10 PIERS ANTHONY

two dots into three. He didn't really believe that anything would come of

this, but he wanted to give his best try to whatever she asked him to do.

The picture blurred, refocused and blurred again. The two dots became four,

then bobbed a bit and fused into three. And then, quietly, die third dimension

came.

Dug stared. Literally. The picture was now 3-D! He wasn't wearing colored

glasses or using one of those two-picture stereo dinguses; it was just the

computer screen. But now the screen had become like a pane of glass, a window

opening to a scene beyond. Nada Naga stood in the foreground, with the grass

of the glade behind her, and the fantasy jungle in the background. It was all

so real he was stunned.

"That's better," Nada said smiling. "I see you in rounded form now, Dug."

She saw him as rounded? She was the most delightfully rounded woman he could

imagine! But he did not type mat in. Instead he made a safer statement "It's

amazing! How did it happen?"

She frowned prettily. "I don't suppose you would believe me if I told you

there's some magic involved?"

He shook his head. "I don't believe in magic."

"That's too bad. That is the second, and greater step. When you manage to do

that, you will truly be in the game."

"Suspension of disbelief," he agreed. "I really wish I could! But I'm a

skeptic from way back. As they say, I'm from Missouri."

She looked blank. "I thought you were from Mundania."

Mundania. Cute notion. "I think Missouri is a state in Mundania. The people

there always have to be shown something before they believe it. So if you show

me magic, I'll believe it. Otherwise—"

She smiled. She made a sinuous ripple, and suddenly she was a snake with her

human head. "This is my naga form, which is natural to me. My magic enables me

to as-

DEMONS DON'T DREAM 11

sume human form, or full serpent form." She became a coiled python, whose

reptilian eyes fixed on him as it slithered from the fallen garments. But he

was not revolted. He could take snakes or leave them; he knew they were

beneficial creatures, so he just left mem alone. This one did not dismay him

at all. He knew it was Nada, in the context of the fantasy game. It would be

useful to have such a reptile on his side, if some game threat materialized,

as was sure to happen when he really got into it

"I realize there is magic in a fantasy game," he said carefully. "Things

happen all me time in movie cartoons and such. People get flattened by

steamrollers, and then pumped back into round with a shot of air, and they are

normal again. So you might say that I believe in magic in such a context But

never in real life."

The snake slithered behind a screen, carrying the woman's piled clothing in

its mouth. In a moment the human form reappeared from behind the screen,

decorously dressed. "But if you come into Xanth, then magic will work. If I

went to Mundania, I would not be able to change form; I'd be just a little

helpless snake." She frowned. "I know; it happened once. But here we follow

our rules. So when you can manage to believe, then you will experience magic."

"When I believe that, Til be crazy," he said sourly.

"No, you will just be in another realm. But you don't have to believe, to play

the game. Just remember that our rules govern here."

"I'll do that" Dug said, surprised by her responsive-ness. It really seemed as

if she were a real person, communicating through the barrier of his disbelief.

"How do I play this game?"

She smiled again. The glade lighted when she did that;

it really did become brighter, as if a slow flashbulb had

gone off. So it was a foolish technical effect; he still liked

it She was just such a beautiful woman that he could bask

| all day in her smiles.

12 PIERS ANTHONY

'Take my hand," Nada said, "and I will lead you into it." She extended her

lovely hand to him.

Dug reached for the screen, then caught himself. He typed I TAKE YOUR HAND.

The scene expanded. Now he seemed to be in the glade, and Nada stood beside

him, about half a head shorter than he. She turned to him, her bosom gently

heaving, her brown-gray eyes complementing her gray-brown tresses. Suddenly

brown-gray was Dug's favorite color. "Thank you, Dug; it is so nice to have

you here."

"It's so nice to be here," he said, discovering that disbelief was getting

easier to suspend, at least in this context. He knew he would never get close

to a woman like this in real life, so he might as well do it this way.

Certainly the way the scene had come to life was amazing.

"Now, this glade is a safe haven," Nada said. "But the moment we go out of it,

we're playing the game proper, and there will be challenge and trouble. So

while I don't want to bore you with too many explanations—"

"You aren't boring me," Dug said quickly. She could have been delivering the

world's dullest lecture on Shakespeare's most boring historical play (which

was a fair description of a normal English class session), and still have

fascinated him. He was satisfied just to remain in this glade and watch her

talk. Because she seemed to be genuinely interested in him. That was surely

the fakery of the game programming, but it was excellent fakery. He remembered

a challenge that was ongoing: companies were trying to build a computer that

could maintain a dialogue with a person so effectively that the person would

not know it was a computer. The computer would be in a sealed-off room, so the

person couldn't see, and would have to guess whether there was a computer or a

person in there. So far no computer had fooled the experts, but it was getting

close. Nada Naga, as an animated projection for such a computer program, was

awfully close. She seemed so alive, and not just because of her appearance.

She smiled again, as he had hoped she would. 'Thank

DEMONS DON'T DREAM 13

you, Dug. I need to be sure you understand what is happening, because it is my

job to take you as far through the game as possible, and if you fail to win

the prize, it won't be through any fault of mine. But my ability is limited,

and in any event the decisions are yours; I can only answer your questions and

advise you. I myself don't know the winning course. But I do know Xanth, and

so I will be able to guide you away from most of its dangers." She paused,

glancing at him. "Are you familiar with Xanth?"

"Never heard of it," he said cheerfully. "I'm not a fantasy reader. I gather

it's a hoked-up fantasy setting, with beautiful princesses, ugly goblins,

walking skeletons, and smoky demonesses." He had picked that up from the list

of alternate Companions. "I presume I'll have to cross mountains and chasms

and raging rivers, and fight off fire-breathing dragons, and find special

magic amulets to enable me to get into magically sealed vaults where the

treasure lies. And that there are so many threats lined up that the chances

are I'll be wiped out early, and then I'll have to start over, knowing a

little more about what to avoid. Frankly, I'd rather just stay here and talk

with you." His glance fell to her bosom, and bounced away, because when he was

standing this close to her he could see right down inside. He loved the sight,

but didn't want her to catch him staring. She might put on a jacket, ruining

the view.

"You do seem to have a good notion of the game," she agreed. She inhaled, and

he almost bit his tongue. "But you can't win it by staying here. So soon we

shall have to «start the trek. Normally the best first step is to go to ask

.fee Good Magician Humfrey for advice. Unfortunately he Charges a year's

service for a single Answer to a Question. Since that isn't feasible for you—"

"Right. No point in going there. Let's talk. Do you ever date MundanesT

* "Date? Do you mean one of the Seeds of Thyme? We might find one of those

if we go to the right garden."

14 PIERS ANTHONY He laughed. "I mean, do you ever go out with Mun-

danesT

"I am about to go out into Xanth with you, to show you

the best route to—"

"I mean like doing something together. Seeing a show, having a meal, talking.

Having fun."

Her lovely brow almost furrowed. "We shall be pursuing the quest together, and

we shall see what Xanth has to show along the way. We shall talk as much as we

need. I hope this is not unpleasant for you."

She just wasn't getting it So he tried once more. "Like maybe dancing

together, and kissing."

Nada gazed at him, a peculiar expression crossing her face. She was finally

getting it! "I think not. I am here to be your Companion. I am not your

romance. Please do not try to kiss me."

Dug laughed again, but it was to cover up embarrassment She had told him no

plainly enough. If he tried to kiss her, she would turn into a serpent and

chomp him. "I was just asking. So what else do I need to know about the game?"

Because if he had to play the game to keep her with him, it was worth it

Then he had to laugh at himself. Nada was a game figure on his computer

screen! He couldn't kiss her anyway. Yet here he had gotten all interested, in

the faint hope mat she might agree to do it He really was getting into mis.

But wouldn't it be great if it were possible, and she were willing! She was so

much better than the girlfriend he had just lost to his friend. So foolish as

it was, he was going to try to please her, hi the hope that eventually she

would agree to kiss him, even if it could be in name only. Nada got down to

business. "It is almost impossible to win the prize directly* because we don't

even know where to look for it So we shall have to go see the Good Magician,

and hope that you can make some kind of deal with him for his advice. I know

the way there, so will guide you. However, the path is dangerous hi places,

and we don't know what might happen, so we shall have to be

DEMONS DON'T DREAM 15

very careful. There are enchanted paths, but those are for the regular folk of

Xanth. We shall have to go crosscountry." She glanced up, smiling briefly.

"That means we will encounter those mountains, chasms, rivers, and dragons you

described, and may not even get as far as the Good Magician's castle."

"If we don't and I'm out of the game, may I ask for you again, the next time I

play?"

"You may do so, but I will not be able to help you any better than the first

time, because the threats will be changed. So you may be better off choosing

another Companion, who may work better for you.**

"Will you remember me, in the next game?"

"Yes. But it may be difficult for me, because I may have seen you get eaten by

a dragon. That would be traumatic for me."

Then I'll try not to get eaten," he said gallantly. "Is there any good way to

discourage dragons?"

That depends on the dragon. I will be able to back off a small one. But a

large one—it is better simply to hide."

"Aren't mere any repellents, or weapons, or whatever? So I could travel

prepared?"

Piers Anthony - Xanth 16 -Demons don' t Dream

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