
paradox baflied scientists for decades, until researchers for the Deneva Mining Consortium discovered
the amazing truth: the crystal structure of dilithium extends not just in the usual three dimensions, but in
four! Did you say... four?
That's right! As illustrated in this computer ani- mation, the internal structure of dilithium extends both into
the past and the future. The Deneva Mining Consortium named this phenomenon Gonio- chronicity~. The
extreme difficulty of cutting dilithi- um into usable shapes, requiring high-output lasers over a long period
of time, became suddenly under- standable. Here's Dr. Wallace Thaumazein, star of everyone's favorite
popular science show, "Dr.
Wally's Kitchen of Wonders," with the explanation.
"Scientists like me always thought it was net energy absorption by the crystals that made them finally give
up under pressure, since as you probably know that's how most of the stuff we live with in our everyday
lives acts. If I hit this pane of glass with this hammer, see, it's gonna break." It sure did, Dr. Wally!
"Right. Are you guys all right down there, with the glass... ? Anyway, what we scientists figured out was
that you don't just have to hit a dilithium crystal hard, you have to hit it hard last month, now, and a week
from Tuesday, so to speak. Now, here's a dilithium crystal that we hit two days ago. And I've made a
note in my appointment calendarmyou can see it here, on the wristwatch display--to hit it again two days
from now. Now, some of you are probably wondering, 'what if you don't hit it two days from now?' and
that's an interesting question. What I always say to that is, 'I'm a scientist, not a philosopher.' Now I'll hit
it, well, now." That's amazing, Dr. Wally!
"It sure is, and it also shows why you kids watching shouldn't try this experiment at home with any dilith-
ium you might have around the house. That man will recover, because he got prompt medical attention,
which we always have on call here at the Kitchen of Wonders. You might not be so lucky." That's an
important safety tip, Dr. Wally. Yes, dilithium, the wonder mineral, can be dangerous. But isn't a certain
level of risk always present in our everyday lives? Think of thermonuclear fusion, our mighty but
mischievous friend. Or the dome over the city where you live; think how easily it could crack and
decompress your whole town. Even this ordinary wooden pencil is potentially explosive, if it should touch
antimatter. But there's another risk we haven't mentioned yet, perhaps the most important one of all.
Can you guess what it is?
Yellow alert! Yellow alert/ Yes, it's the Klingons. These warlike beings are always on the prowl for
dilithium, to drive their war machines, power their warships, and do many other war things. Here's Dr.
Wallace Thaumazein again.
"Before dilithium-enhanced warp drives and weap- onry, there was no interstellar war. Well, not exactly
no interstellar war, but not very much of it, because with the ships flying at Warp Three or Four, and
these little laser guns that only shot at lightspeed so even at Warp Two you flew faster than the stuff
coming after you, it really wasn't very interesting, and nobody much did it, except for the Romulans, who
you have to admit try real hard in everything they do, even if we can't always figure out why, and the
Klingons, for whom it was sort of a hobby anyway." A simple hobby that threatens millions. This is the
result of the Klingon Empire's ruthless hunger for dilithium, the wonder mineral. Is there an answer?
Yes. The answer is in each one of us. We must all vote for continued tax deductions for dilithium
research and fight to preserve the Dilithium Depletion Allow- ance from those who cannot see that
today's innocent, unexplored frontier world is tomorrow's Klingon slave outpost. This, then, is the choice
that faces each of us in a free society.