Stanislaw Lem - Automathew's Friend

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Table of Contents

Part 1. Alfred.

Part 2. The Storm.

Part 3. Friendly Advice.

Part 4. "Nearly Nowhere" and "Nowhere."

Part 5. Indestructible Friend.

Part 6. A Lifelong Grudge.

Part 1. Alfred

A certain robot, planning to go on a long and dangerous voyage,

heard of a most useful device which its inventor called an

electric

friend. He would feel better, he thought, if he had a companion,

even a companion that was only a machine, so he went to the

inventor

and asked to be shown an artificial friend.

"Sure," replied the inventor. (As you know, in fairy tales no one

says "sir" or "ma'am" to anyone else, not even to dragons, it's

only

with the kings that you have to stand on ceremony.) With this he

pulled from his pocket a handful of metal granules, that looked

fine shot.

"What is that?" said the robot in surprise.

"Tell me your name, for I forgot to ask it in the proper place of

this fairy tale," said the inventor.

"My name is Automatthew."

"That's too long for me, I'll call you Autom."

"Autom's from Automatom, but have it your way,-- replied the

other.

"Well then, Autommy my lad, you have here before you a batch of

electrofriends. You ought to know that by vocation and

specialization I am a miniaturizer. Which means I make large and

heavy mechanisms small and portable. Each one of these granules is

concentrate of electrical thought, highly versatile and

intelligent.

I won't say a genius, for that would be an exaggeration if not

false

advertising. True, my intention is precisely to create electrical

geniuses and I shall not rest until I have made them so very tiny

that it will be possible to carry thousands of them around in

your

vest pocket; the day I can pour them into sacks and sell them by

weight, like sand, I will have achieved my most cherished goal.

But

enough now of my plans for the future. For the time being I sell

electrofriends by the piece and cheaply at that: each costs as

much

as its weight in diamonds. You'll see, I think, how very

reasonable

the price is, when you consider that you can put an electrofriend

your ear, where it will whisper good advice and supply you with

all

kinds of information. Here's a bit of soft cotton, you stop up

the

ear with it so your friend won't fall out when you tilt your

head.

Will you take one? If you think you'd like a dozen, I might be

able

to arrange a discount..."

"No, one will do for now," said Automatthew. "But I'd like some

idea

of what I can expect of it. Will it be able to help me in a

difficult situation?"

"But of course, that's what it's for, after all!" replied the

inventor good-humoredly. He shook out on his palm a bunch of the

granules, which glittered metallically, being made of rare

metals,

and continued: "Obviously you can't count on help in the physical

sense, but we are not speaking of that, I think. Helpful hints,

suggestions, cogent comments, sensible recommendations, good

observations, admonitions, warnings, words of caution, as well as

comfort, solace, encouragement, maxims to restore your faith in

yourself, and deep insights that will enable you to cope with any

situation, no matter how serious or even grave--this is only a

small

part of the repertoire of my electrofriends. They are wholly

devoted, staunch, true, ever vigilant, because they never sleep;

they are also unbelievably durable, esthetic, and you can see for

yourself how very handy! So then, you are taking only one?"

"Yes," said Automatthew. "But there's another thing: could you

tell

me what happens if someone steals it from me? Will it return? Or

bring about the thief's destruction?"

"As for that, no," answered the inventor. "It will serve him just

diligently and faithfully as it did you. You can't ask too much,

dear Autom, it will not desert you in your hour of need if you do

not desert it. But there is little chance of that--if you will

just

place it in your ear and always keep the ear plugged up with

cotton..."

"Very well," agreed Automatthew. "And how am I to speak to it?"

"You needn't speak at all, whisper subvocally and it will hear

you

perfectly. As for its name, I call it Alfred. Alf or Alfie will

do."

"Good," said Automatthew.

They weighed Alfred, the inventor received for it a lovely little

diamond, and the robot, content that he now had a companion, a

fellow soul for the distant journey, proceeded on his way.

Part 2. The Storm

Back to: TOC | Lem

It was most pleasant traveling with Alfred, which, if he so

desired

it, would wake him each morning by whistling inside his head a

soft

and cheerful reveille; it also told him various amusing

anecdotes,

however Automatthew soon forbade it to do this when he was in the

presence of others, for they began to suspect him of lunacy,

seeing

how every now and then he would burst into laughter for no

apparent

reason. In this manner Automatthew traveled first by land, then

reached the seashore, where a beautiful white ship awaited him.

had few possessions, thus in no time at all was ensconced in a

cozy

little cabin and listening with satisfaction to the clatter that

announced the raising of the anchor and the start of a great sea

voyage. For several days the white ship merrily sailed the waves

beneath a beaming sun, and at night, all silvered by the moon, it

rocked him to sleep, till early one morning a terrible storm

broke.

Waves three times higher than the masts buffeted the ship, which

creaked and groaned in all its joints, and the din was so

dreadful

that Automatthew did not hear a single word of the many

comforting

things Alfred was no doubt whispering to him during those

unpleasant

moments. Suddenly there was an ungodly crash, salt water burst

into

the cabin, and before the horrified eyes of Automatthew the ship

began to come apart.

He ran out on deck just as he was, and had barely leaped into the

last lifeboat when a monstrous wave loomed up, fell upon the

vessel

and pulled it down into the churning ocean depths. Automatthew

did

not see a single member of the crew, he was alone in the

lifeboat,

alone in the midst of the raging sea, and he trembled, certain

that

the next roller would sink the little boat and him along with it.

The wind howled, from the low clouds torrents lashed the heaving

surface of the sea, and he still could not hear what Alfred had

say to him. Then in the confusion he observed some blurry shapes

covered with a seething white; this was the shore of an unknown

land, upon which the waves were breaking. With a loud scrape the

boat ran aground on some rocks, and Automatthew, thoroughly

drenched

and dripping salt water, set off on shaky legs, with the last of

his

strength, seeking the refuge of the land's interior, as far away

possible from the ocean waves. At the foot of a rock he sank to

earth and fell into a dreamless sleep of exhaustion.

Part 3. Friendly Advice

Back to: TOC | Lem

He was wakened by a tactful whistling. It was Alfred reminding

him

of its friendly presence.

"Ah, how splendid that you're there, Alfred, only now do I see

what

a good thing it is to have you with, or rather, in me!" cried

Automatthew, recovering his senses. He looked around. The sun was

shining, the sea was still choppy, but the menacing high waves

had

disappeared, the thunderclouds, the rain. Unfortunately the boat

had

disappeared as well. The storm must have raged in the night with

incredible force, sweeping up and carrying out to sea the boat

that

had saved Automatthew. He jumped to his feet and began running

along

the shore, only to return in ten minutes to the very same spot.

was on a desert island, and a small one in the bargain. Not a

particularly encouraging state of affairs. But no matter, he had

his

Alfred with him! He quickly informed it of just how things stood

and

asked for some advice.

"Ha! Humph!" said Alfred. "A situation indeed! This will take a

bit

of thought. What exactly do you require?"

"Require? Why, everything: help, rescue, clothes, means of

subsistence, there's nothing here but sand and rocks!"

"H'm! Is that a fact? You're quite sure? There are not lying

about

somewhere along the beach chests from the wrecked ship, chests

filled with tools, utensils, interesting reading, garments for

different occasions, as well as gunpowder?"

Automatthew searched the length and breadth of the beach, but

found

nothing, not so much as a splinter from the vessel, which

apparently

had sunk all in one piece, like a stone.

"Nothing at all, you say? Most peculiar. The considerable

literature

on life on desert islands proves irrefutably that a shipwrecked

person always finds at close hand axes, nails, fresh water, oil,

sacred books, saws, pliers, firearms, and a great number of other

useful items. But if not, then not. Is there at least a cave in

the

rocks providing shelter?"

"No, there is no cave."

"What, no cave? Whoo, this is unusual! Would you be so good as to

climb onto the highest rock and cast an eye around?"

"I'll do it right away!" cried Automatthew, and scrambled up a

steep

rock in the middle of the island, and froze: the little volcanic

island was surrounded on all sides by limitless ocean!

In a faltering voice he conveyed this news to Alfred, adjusting

with

a shaky finger the cotton in his ear, so as not to lose his

friend.

"How lucky I am that it didn't fall out when the ship went down,"

thought and, suddenly feeling fatigued, sat on a rock and waited

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摘要：

TableofContentsPart1.Alfred.Part2.TheStorm.Part3.FriendlyAdvice.Part4."NearlyNowhere"and"Nowhere."Part5.IndestructibleFriend.Part6.ALifelongGrudge.Part1.AlfredAcertainrobot,planningtogoonalonganddangerousvoyage,heardofamostusefuldevicewhichitsinventorcalledanelectricfriend.Hewouldfeelbetter,hethough...

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Stanislaw Lem - Automathew's Friend

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