Robinson, Spider - And Subsequent Construction

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' -- and Subsequent Construction' (v1.1)

Spider Robinson

God gets away with things no one else could.

Want proof?

The greatest comedians of the last century, the ones who lasted longest

commercially and physically, were named hope (who always looked young), burns

(who always looked old), and miltin' b[oy/g]irl (remembered for his drag routines).

Then there were skel[e]ton, who slumped when he got tired; 'kay, who was absurdly

agreeable; and Cid Caesar, who returned from the dead when he slowed down,

slimmed down, and got control of his ego. The only woman one can call to mind from

that generation was named ball, whom they loved loose, see?; enough said there.

Not many would accept irony that heavy-handed from an author ... yet the twentieth

century swallowed it from God without comment, laughing their heads off. Today, in

2010, I'm the only one who seems to have noticed.

Remember that: it may help you with what follows.

I'm a mathematician by training, and I've been a relativist. I've logged trips to six

different star systems. I pray not to a god, but to the Nameless; and I don't try to

send my prayers anywhere -- I just try to be them. I remember well the prayer I

was being that night as I drove from home to my lab ...

Thank you, Nameless!

For all my life, the statement [(good luck) > (bad luck)] has tended to obtain --

consistently enough to compensate for my basic tragedy: having been born a

supergenius. Want proof? The foster parents who have always sworn they picked

their little Iris on the basis of my toothless smile happened to be a NASA image

specialist and a chaoticist: experts in, respectively, the universe's surface

appearance and its underlying causes. They tutored me at home until I passed their

competence at age ten and was admitted to UCLA. Mom was a Buddhist and Dad a

Taoist. No other sort of background could have prepared me so well to be a relativist

-- that's why there are so few of us, which is why we're so absurdly well paid -- and

if I hadn't been a relativist I would not have met my beloved husband Teodor (whose

name means "gift of God").

In case you missed it, I've just defined an ascending curve from First Luck to Best

Luck ... because a good marriage is one of the most worthwhile things a human can

make.

The proof of that statement lurks within the proximate cause of the prayer I was

being as I hurtled down the highway that night. Just before I'd left our home to drive

to work, Ted had given me a series of orgasms so exquisite and intense that it was a

good thing the act of driving is these days essentially finished once you've defined

your destination to the car ... and furthermore, he had declined my offer to return

the favor. ("Sometimes I just like to make my Iris dilate," he'd said.)

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Robinson, Spider - And Subsequent Construction

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