
of green light in my eyes. I heard screams that can only be heard and not described, but they might have
been from earlier sections of the nightmare. I had the feeling on my hands of the slippery softness of
soapy water. Then the face on the vast expanse of white would reappear. I gradually became aware of
an unfailing order in the procedure of my dreams. Face, food, water, sunshine, face, food, water, dark.
The repetition was endless and I was passive to it, prompted by the droning voice, no longer gentle, but
equally insistent.
Slowly, not just that face on a sea of white but peripheral details took form and coherency. The face
would belong to a man, an ugly man with vacant eyes, black hair, sallow pitted skin. The fact that he bore
not one morsel of resemblance to any of my brothers or any of the overbright young men at the agency
gave me distinct pleasure. His face was on a pillow which was on a bed of hospital height. And always I
was in the position of looking down, not being on a level, with him. Had he been bending over me, I
might just have been alarmed that all the tales of rampant white slavery in New York City drilled into me
by my provincial parents were indeed true. My first conscious query was why was I not the patient since,
obviously, something was very wrong with me.
The mere sensation of sun warmth gradually expanded to include oddly shaped trees with willowy,
waving fronds, and with the feel of the wind was the cool fragrance of floral odors.
The ground no longer hovered somewhere beyond my comprehension but was suddenly squarely
under my feet. I was standing on a walk, bordered with blooms I never remembered seeing before. The
trays I carried contained individual colored dishes with foods that smelled appetizingly and I fed them to
the face in the sea of white.
I cannot judge the length of this semiconscious state. I was a passive observer, comparing the
anomalies with personal recollections and finding no parallels. I was, however, not the least bit alarmed
by all that, which should have alarmed me, as I am normally very curious, in a discreet way.
I do know that the transition into full consciousness was brutally abrupt. As if the focus of my mind,
so long blurred, had suddenly been returned to balance. As if a kaleidoscope had astonishingly settled
into a familiar design instead of random, meaningless patterns.
Out of the jumble, my grateful eyes reviewed an entire panorama of sloping bluish lawns, felicitously
set with flowering shrubs and populated by couples strolling casually down the paths. Each woman wore
a gown the exact cut and color of the blue one I wore. Each man had a blue tunic and a coat gruesomely
reminiscent of a straitjacket. Beyond the bluish swath, lay little cottages of white stone, with wide
windows, barred by white columns at narrow regular intervals. Directly in front of my face was a
shimmering opacity I recognized, by some agency, as a fence and dangerous to me.
I was not, however, one of a couple. I was in a group of eight people, strolling the walks, and the
other seven were men. Only one, the man directly to my left, wore the strange jacket.
A voice, issuing from the left side of the man in the jacket, spoke an irritating combination of
comprehensible words and jumbled syllables.
'And so… he is as well as can be expected. Certainly his physical appearance has improved. Notice
the firm tone to his flesh, the clear color of his complexion.'
'Then you do have hopes?' asked an urgent, wistful younger voice. Its owner I could see without
noticeably turning my head. He was a young man, tall and slender, with a sensitive, pale-gold tired face
dominated by deeply circled eyes. He was dressed in a simple but rich fashion. His concerned attention
was on the man whose harness controls I now found myself holding.
'Hopes, yes… (another incomprehensible spate of words. It seemed to me I was hearing another
language in which I could not yet think)… we have had so few successes with this sort of… Our skill
does not include mental breakdowns… the strains and concerns of affairs in your behalf and for his
country… but you may be sure we are taking the very best care of him until that time. Monsorlit's…'
This was not the reassurance the young man wanted. He sighed resignedly, placing a gentle hand on
my charge's shoulder. It was the lightest of gestures, but it stopped the man stolidly in his tracks. In the
vacuousness of the face, there was no comprehension of the action, no reaction, no sign whatever of